FamilyMan2153

As I go about living this sober life there have been times when I am doing something, could be anything, and I feel like something is missing. It is a strange kind of feeling. It seems to happen just about every day. When I stop and think about it I realize it is the alcohol. Kind of sad but true. Then I look around for something to replace it, candy bar, cup of coffee or something like that. I was hoping that after 6+ months that those feelings would be gone but like a friend of mine in AA said, "it took you 25 years of wandering lost in the woods, you can't turn around and get it in 6 months". True dat!!

trachemys

True 'dat! I spent all my time at home with a drink at hand. Still do, but it' NA.

doggonecarl

What a difference one year will make in your perspective. Hang in there.

Six months is awesome.

Nattythreads

It's a strange kind of "emptiness" that feeling. But I find easily explainable when you realize just how much alcohol was part of the brain's "reward" system. You feel good about something - have a drink to celebrate. You feel bad about something - have a drink to commiserate. You're at a loose end - have a drink to kill the time. You have something important to do - have a drink so you can prevaricate a while.

As that list gets longer and longer, it's not difficult to work out why alcohol rapidly becomes the answer to everything. And why it takes time and distance to train yourself to understand that it's the answer to nothing.

Good luck my friend. Stay on it. You know it makes sense.

DryRoastJim

Nattythreads is right. This is not uncommon from people who quit smoking either.

Alcohol has always been there, right beside us! It was our best friend! Always would listen, always cheered us up, always gave us that little edge - or did it?

No, instead it exploited us at every turn, didn't care if you got fired from you job, didn't care if you lost a partner, didn't care about the guilt you may have felt the next day. One thing that it did care about tho, making sure you had a hangover

Do not feel remorse or loss for the death of this friend! Be glad it is 6 feet under!

And most importantly, take the time to be proud of yourself!! 6 hours, day or months are all great achievements!

2granddaughters

My friend, Mitch, is celebrating 47 yrs sober at the end of the month. He doesn't miss too many meetings.

There must, in his opinion, still be something of value to attending AA meetings. He tells me to "keep coming back, it gets better" often.

In our parts we call that "missing feeling" a hole in the soul. We always tried to fill that hole with beer.

I came to find out that the hole is just about "God-size" and I fill it with prayer & meditation and fellowship.

All the best.

Bob R

Mizzuno

True dat!

whiskeyman

it was my friend for such a long time.
there is a mourniing process to go thru

FamilyMan2153

I do remember people talking about that "hole in our soul". Huh, kind of forgot about that. I know it will get better over time as I continue to grow and other things fill that hole or need. The good thing is that I recognize it, talk about it, and keep working my sobriety. Thanks to all.

Dee74

Keep going FM - one day you'll notice there's not a drink or a glass in your hand and you'll realise there hasn't been for a while

D

bigsombrero

I don't know if my view is shared by others - but to me losing alcohol from my life was like losing an arm.

Just like you, from time to time I feel like something's missing - but there's nothing I can do about it. I have to learn how to do things without alcohol. Period. It's NOT coming back, any more than my arm would grow back if it was cut off with a hacksaw.

Sometimes it sucks. But that's reality for you. Alcohol is cut off from my body and mind. That means no more late nights at the bars, no more margaritas watching a sunset on a patio, no more pints of beer while watching a ball game. Two days from now all my friends will get together and go out for St. Patrick's Day here in Chicago and do a pub crawl and have a grand ol'e time.

I won't be with them. That's done, gone, finished, dead and buried.

Sure it sucks, but so does losing an arm. Does that mean you stop living? Nope - you make the adjustments, learn to deal with the struggles, and keep plugging away and finding new ways to enjoy every day on this fine planet.

Good luck!

ClearLight

I'm only 5 days in. But the last few mornings I woke up thinking I had been drinking the night before. (I drank at nights.)
You know that guilty, what did I do last night(?), kind of feeling. That feeling of did I throw away money or lose a friend.
But no - then I remembered I didn't drink and that was why I felt good.

quitforme79

I still always have a glass of something but now it's water or tea. I found these kcups online that are all different flavors and plan to order some...throw a little excitement into my life lol

And yeh...It takes time to change old habits but at 6+ months sounds like you are doing well

bigsombrero

Me too. I drink seltzer water constantly, often a slice of lemon or lime works great and is really refreshing! Plus when you're drinking all that water it really keeps your body healthy and weight tends to shed off more easily. Tons of benefits! But yeah I always have to be drinking something, glad it's finally working in my favor

avocado

every night i slice up some fresh ginger and cut a lemon wedge and make ginger lemon tea. in addition to it giving me something interesting to sip on, it has tremendous health benefits, including enzymes in ginger which help with liver functioning, something all recovering drinkers like us could benefit from. it's also helped with aches and pains i have had for a while, and it boosts immunity.

as far as just the general 'something missing' feeling, my approach is to not think of sobriety as a 'lack' of something, but as a positive addition to my life. a 'glass half full' sort of thing.

FreeFall

I can relate to the feeling of something missing. It's a very normal response because we have made such a huge lifestyle change. I don't know about you, but drinking has been a social activity for me for decades. I find I can still hang out with drinking friends but I am bored and have a very short attention span for it. I'm too busy at work to seek out social alternatives right now so there is an empty space. I try to focus on the big picture and keep reinforcing to myself that I am doing something that will allow me to really experience life clear headed and that will help me to redefine what brings me happiness.

Maybe we need to make lists of what to reach for instead of booze. It would probably be an interesting thing to do!