When do I graduate from the school of hard knocks
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 186
When do I graduate from the school of hard knocks
So after a few months...... Here I am again defeated and exhausted and ready to pick myself up by the bootstraps.
The details - Although I stopped posting I kept reading. I am active in my church, and for the first time in years I am opened up spiritually again. I do a lot of reading. I am working full time again at a job that I love. For the most part I wake up happy.
Active drug use is not a major player in the house. Addicted Other, still resides with me. AO was sober for over 60 days, and in three weeks used 3 times. AO is currently at 2 1/2 weeks sober.
Whether it be early recovery or just the personality of AO, I made the choice to no longer live this way. I know I made those choices before, but I always based it on AO's drug use. Now I am basing it on his personality and way I am allowing myself to be treated. I know that I thought if I treated him the way I want to be treated and if I caved everytime he asked
I need to allow myself to be treated better.
The details - Although I stopped posting I kept reading. I am active in my church, and for the first time in years I am opened up spiritually again. I do a lot of reading. I am working full time again at a job that I love. For the most part I wake up happy.
Active drug use is not a major player in the house. Addicted Other, still resides with me. AO was sober for over 60 days, and in three weeks used 3 times. AO is currently at 2 1/2 weeks sober.
Whether it be early recovery or just the personality of AO, I made the choice to no longer live this way. I know I made those choices before, but I always based it on AO's drug use. Now I am basing it on his personality and way I am allowing myself to be treated. I know that I thought if I treated him the way I want to be treated and if I caved everytime he asked
I need to allow myself to be treated better.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
When do I graduate from the school of hard knocks
I need to allow myself to be treated better
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 186
darn computer shut off - then the phone rang.
I know that it all starts with me. No one is going to treat me better than how I treat myself.
I know the work that I need to do lays in front of me. it is up to me to do the work.
I started so strong this year and I hate that I found myself right back where I didn't want to be.
It was another lesson that I had to learn from.
Hopefully maybe I have an A- or B+ on the final exam.
I am ready to go no contact finally.
I know that it all starts with me. No one is going to treat me better than how I treat myself.
I know the work that I need to do lays in front of me. it is up to me to do the work.
I started so strong this year and I hate that I found myself right back where I didn't want to be.
It was another lesson that I had to learn from.
Hopefully maybe I have an A- or B+ on the final exam.
I am ready to go no contact finally.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
It was another lesson that I had to learn from.
I appreciate when I get the opportunity to "take the exam" on any given matter again. It gives me a chance to improve. And I get pretty pumped when I take care of myself well in a situation where I might not have done so well in the past.
You're doing ok, Carrie. Don't be too hard on yourself.
gentle hugs
ke
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