Update on breakup...i'm doing pretty well!
Update on breakup...i'm doing pretty well!
Hello all. I haven't posted in awhile. I just wanted to update how things have been going since i broke up with my EXABF (it's been 5 weeks now!). I'm not sure what I'm looking for from this post...just to express myself, and any words of encouragement/thoughts/challenges are surely welcome!
First of all, about 2 weeks ago I had decided "i've had enough, I'm going NC!" Well, that night he sent me a such nice email, appologizing, blah blah blah. I know, some of it probably was manipulation...but over all it seemed quite genuine. He thanked me for the support I have given over the past 3 years, apologized for acting like an ******* the day before (that he was angry with himself and just taking it out on me), etc. Since then there has been absolutely no text or calling (i did block him from my phone!)...only a few emails. I talked about this with my therapist and she just wants me to examine my motives if i DO happen to email him. I know that the emailing should stop all together (and in fact, it has been a whole week since ANY emailing has occured...so 7 days of REAL NC!) but it's so hard. I just need to do some more soul searching to discover why I want/think I need to keep in some contact with him... I cannot accept the finality of the breakup or let go of the small hope that someday things may work out. Is that horrible? Or normal?
Otherwise, I still have really sad times and miss him a lot but my thinking has become much clearer with time. I wish we could get back together, but when I look at the reality of the situation...I really don't! Nothing has changed. I know for a fact that he is still using... He told me last week (via email) that he is "cutting back on the weed" because he knows he needs to stop completely and is "drinking socially" which "hasn't been a problem for him" because he is "being responsible about it"..... I'm sorry, that means nothing to me!!! I don't see anything changing with him. I do not want to be with an active, lying addict. I want to be with a man that will respect me and be able to have real conversations with me, someone who will be willing to go to church with me. I have been praying more...just for strength to get through this, many prayers of gratitude, and just praying to God that He will protect my EXABF, care for him, and help him recognize what is really important in life. I know I cannot control him anymore....I am giving him over to God.
I still worry about him moving on. I just have a really hard time accepting that. Since we were eachother's "first" everything, I just can't imagine either one of us being with new people. It seems wrong to me! But I have to remember it is normal...even if we did end up together, we are both most likely going to be in new relationships at some point...It's okay...
I've realized that I'm pretty awesome..he was lucky to have me and should be really sad he lost me! I mean, I'm smart, talented, caring, compassionate, a hard worker, a good listener, and people SAY i'm pretty although I don't always agree! I do have things I need to work on...mainly my codependency issues! I honestly don't want to get into a relationship too soon. I mean, I've been more aware of cute guys walking around campus. But I'm not looking by any means!
Mostly i just wanted to say that things are going fairly well considering. I feel that I have made progress and I hope to continue to do so. I have been going to Al-Anon, journaling a lot, and am currently reading "Women Who Love Too Much"...next on my list is "Codependent No More". Things are still painful, but it is getting easier. For anybody going through a hard time (especially breakup)...have hope! It will get better, I promise!
First of all, about 2 weeks ago I had decided "i've had enough, I'm going NC!" Well, that night he sent me a such nice email, appologizing, blah blah blah. I know, some of it probably was manipulation...but over all it seemed quite genuine. He thanked me for the support I have given over the past 3 years, apologized for acting like an ******* the day before (that he was angry with himself and just taking it out on me), etc. Since then there has been absolutely no text or calling (i did block him from my phone!)...only a few emails. I talked about this with my therapist and she just wants me to examine my motives if i DO happen to email him. I know that the emailing should stop all together (and in fact, it has been a whole week since ANY emailing has occured...so 7 days of REAL NC!) but it's so hard. I just need to do some more soul searching to discover why I want/think I need to keep in some contact with him... I cannot accept the finality of the breakup or let go of the small hope that someday things may work out. Is that horrible? Or normal?
Otherwise, I still have really sad times and miss him a lot but my thinking has become much clearer with time. I wish we could get back together, but when I look at the reality of the situation...I really don't! Nothing has changed. I know for a fact that he is still using... He told me last week (via email) that he is "cutting back on the weed" because he knows he needs to stop completely and is "drinking socially" which "hasn't been a problem for him" because he is "being responsible about it"..... I'm sorry, that means nothing to me!!! I don't see anything changing with him. I do not want to be with an active, lying addict. I want to be with a man that will respect me and be able to have real conversations with me, someone who will be willing to go to church with me. I have been praying more...just for strength to get through this, many prayers of gratitude, and just praying to God that He will protect my EXABF, care for him, and help him recognize what is really important in life. I know I cannot control him anymore....I am giving him over to God.
I still worry about him moving on. I just have a really hard time accepting that. Since we were eachother's "first" everything, I just can't imagine either one of us being with new people. It seems wrong to me! But I have to remember it is normal...even if we did end up together, we are both most likely going to be in new relationships at some point...It's okay...
I've realized that I'm pretty awesome..he was lucky to have me and should be really sad he lost me! I mean, I'm smart, talented, caring, compassionate, a hard worker, a good listener, and people SAY i'm pretty although I don't always agree! I do have things I need to work on...mainly my codependency issues! I honestly don't want to get into a relationship too soon. I mean, I've been more aware of cute guys walking around campus. But I'm not looking by any means!
Mostly i just wanted to say that things are going fairly well considering. I feel that I have made progress and I hope to continue to do so. I have been going to Al-Anon, journaling a lot, and am currently reading "Women Who Love Too Much"...next on my list is "Codependent No More". Things are still painful, but it is getting easier. For anybody going through a hard time (especially breakup)...have hope! It will get better, I promise!
One more thing...As I was reading another thread talking about Al-Anon and sponsors, I had a Q but didn't want to hijack their thread. I love going to Al-Anon meetings but really have not worked any steps what so ever. I don't even understand how one "works the steps". I mean I know you are supposed to get a sponsor..but is there like a workbook or something? I have considered getting a sponsor but I just don't know. I'm not sure where my hesitation lies. I guess it's that I think I can do it "on my own" and that I don't deserve someone like that to be there for me. Like, they must have better things to do in their time than to talk to me and help me work through my issues! Any feedback on this? Has anyone worked the steps on their own? How do you go about doing it? Do you think a sponsor is necessary to "work the program"?
A sponsor will 'guide' you through the steps and your questions about the steps will be answered.
It is really great to have a 'sponsor' in real time that one can call on the phone and go for coffee with and talk to, a live person that UNDERSTANDS exactly what one is going through.
Try it, you just might, lol LIKE having a sponsor!!!
Nothing fear inducing about it, just a live, warm human being that has already been through what you are going through.
Love and hugs,
It is really great to have a 'sponsor' in real time that one can call on the phone and go for coffee with and talk to, a live person that UNDERSTANDS exactly what one is going through.
Try it, you just might, lol LIKE having a sponsor!!!
Nothing fear inducing about it, just a live, warm human being that has already been through what you are going through.
Love and hugs,
So glad you posted this awesomely inspirational post, pianogirl, and SO glad that you are doing so much better!! You've really given hope to those of us still struggling through the early stages of a breakup, that it WILL and DOES get better. And it sounds as though you are finally realizing your worth as a person, which is such a struggle for most of us codies. Keep going - we're all right there with you!!
Laurie, perhaps i will think more about getting a sponsor..I think there are many reasons that I am fearful/hessitant about it!
EverHopeful, Thank you very much! I hope you are starting to feel better also.
I did want to share one thing. So last week (thru email) my EX told me that he got a job at Target (the Target i go to at least twice a week) and that he was starting this week. Well, yesterday I was on my way home..I passed it and decided to check if his car was there (i know, sounds creepy...I swear I'm not a stalker!!!) I did see his car and WENT IN! I'm not sure why I would be so stupid (actually I think I might). I did see him but I'm not sure if he saw me. After that, i decided I need to be very careful going there! Then tonight, I really needed milk...I could've gone somewhere else Target was most on my way... I didn't check for his car, just thought he probably wouldn't be there (I'm pretty sure he is doing more overnight, stocking stuff) and went in. He was checking people out!!! Again, I saw him but don't think he saw me. I don't know what i would've done if we would've had to talk to eachother....
Why did I do this? Well, I think because I am so scared for him to move on, and he hasn't emailed in so long, I want him to see me and remember how much he misses me. I know it's horrible!!! Please don't judge!!! I don't want him back really (well I sort of do but you know what I mean) but I don't want anyone else to have him. It's like I want to keep him on a leash.
I've realized I do not feel okay, on my own, without his attention, acceptance, or "love." I think I need this to feel important and feel loved. I think any man's attention actually would do that for me.. even if it is bad attention. I think I had sex with my bf for the first time because he wanted to...I thought if I was wanted/needed for my body, that was enough for me. It's really sad actually. Of course I did grow to love him...but I have so many insecurities that were covered up by being with him. I'm just not sure how one changes these feelings/thoughts. I mean, feelings are feelings. I am in therapy, have been going to some al-anon (should go to more), journal a lot, and just started reading co-dependent no more. I understand the concepts, but they are not ingrained in my brain.
Thank you to anyone who read that!! Sorry it was so long!
EverHopeful, Thank you very much! I hope you are starting to feel better also.
I did want to share one thing. So last week (thru email) my EX told me that he got a job at Target (the Target i go to at least twice a week) and that he was starting this week. Well, yesterday I was on my way home..I passed it and decided to check if his car was there (i know, sounds creepy...I swear I'm not a stalker!!!) I did see his car and WENT IN! I'm not sure why I would be so stupid (actually I think I might). I did see him but I'm not sure if he saw me. After that, i decided I need to be very careful going there! Then tonight, I really needed milk...I could've gone somewhere else Target was most on my way... I didn't check for his car, just thought he probably wouldn't be there (I'm pretty sure he is doing more overnight, stocking stuff) and went in. He was checking people out!!! Again, I saw him but don't think he saw me. I don't know what i would've done if we would've had to talk to eachother....
Why did I do this? Well, I think because I am so scared for him to move on, and he hasn't emailed in so long, I want him to see me and remember how much he misses me. I know it's horrible!!! Please don't judge!!! I don't want him back really (well I sort of do but you know what I mean) but I don't want anyone else to have him. It's like I want to keep him on a leash.
I've realized I do not feel okay, on my own, without his attention, acceptance, or "love." I think I need this to feel important and feel loved. I think any man's attention actually would do that for me.. even if it is bad attention. I think I had sex with my bf for the first time because he wanted to...I thought if I was wanted/needed for my body, that was enough for me. It's really sad actually. Of course I did grow to love him...but I have so many insecurities that were covered up by being with him. I'm just not sure how one changes these feelings/thoughts. I mean, feelings are feelings. I am in therapy, have been going to some al-anon (should go to more), journal a lot, and just started reading co-dependent no more. I understand the concepts, but they are not ingrained in my brain.
Thank you to anyone who read that!! Sorry it was so long!
Why did I do this? Well, I think because I am so scared for him to move on, and he hasn't emailed in so long, I want him to see me and remember how much he misses me. I know it's horrible!!! Please don't judge!!! I don't want him back really (well I sort of do but you know what I mean) but I don't want anyone else to have him. It's like I want to keep him on a leash.
I've realized I do not feel okay, on my own, without his attention, acceptance, or "love." I think I need this to feel important and feel loved. I think any man's attention actually would do that for me.. even if it is bad attention. I think I had sex with my bf for the first time because he wanted to...I thought if I was wanted/needed for my body, that was enough for me. It's really sad actually. Of course I did grow to love him...but I have so many insecurities that were covered up by being with him. I'm just not sure how one changes these feelings/thoughts. I mean, feelings are feelings. I am in therapy, have been going to some al-anon (should go to more), journal a lot, and just started reading co-dependent no more. I understand the concepts, but they are not ingrained in my brain.
Thank you to anyone who read that!! Sorry it was so long!
I've realized I do not feel okay, on my own, without his attention, acceptance, or "love." I think I need this to feel important and feel loved. I think any man's attention actually would do that for me.. even if it is bad attention. I think I had sex with my bf for the first time because he wanted to...I thought if I was wanted/needed for my body, that was enough for me. It's really sad actually. Of course I did grow to love him...but I have so many insecurities that were covered up by being with him. I'm just not sure how one changes these feelings/thoughts. I mean, feelings are feelings. I am in therapy, have been going to some al-anon (should go to more), journal a lot, and just started reading co-dependent no more. I understand the concepts, but they are not ingrained in my brain.
Thank you to anyone who read that!! Sorry it was so long!
I knew the one thing C always wanted from me, even if he didn't want anything else, was sex. And I thought if I gave it to him however and as often as he wanted, even if it wasn't always 'mind-blowing' for me, even though sometimes it was 'rough,' he would love me.
That is totally it EverHopeful. We were in love and sometimes i loved having sex with him but often I really didn't want to do it but forced myself because I didn't want to disappoint him... not that I thought he would be mad, but I just wanted to make him happy! Sex shouldn't be something that you do when you don't want to!
I'm still having so many thoughts about him moving on...like what if he is with a new girl right now!??! I can't handle those thoughts.Trying to focus on the positives though. I deserve more. He is not what I need right now. I deserve love and respect. I want someone who I can actually TALK with things about. I want someone who is not addicted to weed and alcohol!!!
It also makes me sad to think that we may never be able to be friends again. How do you share 2 years (or more) of you life with somebody and then just banish them from your life? It feels so wrong. I know for a fact that we cannot be friends anytime soon...but I wonder about in the future? Has anybody had any success with being friends with EX's?
I don't know. I guess things are going okay. It's like one hour I am feeling so positive about the future and the next I am just so depressed. I did get accepted to nursing school today!!! So it was a pretty good day. and it's officially spring break. I need to be happy!!! Anytime I start feeling bad, I pray the serenity prayer in my head. It really has been helping! My favorite line is "Trusting that He will make all things right, if I surrender to His will." Totally what I need to do!!!
Sorry for my rambling. Thanks to anyone who read.
I also wanted to say, wow, i love this website so much and I am so glad I found it! I get on here multiple times a day just to read some posts, replies, and maybe reply myself if I can. I find everything so encouraging. There is so much wisdom here. I am saving helpful points that people say in a word document so I can remember these things...they are such great lessons, I never want to forget them! Thank you all for sharing what you do.
Laurie, perhaps i will think more about getting a sponsor..I think there are many reasons that I am fearful/hessitant about it!
EverHopeful, Thank you very much! I hope you are starting to feel better also.
I did want to share one thing. So last week (thru email) my EX told me that he got a job at Target (the Target i go to at least twice a week) and that he was starting this week. Well, yesterday I was on my way home..I passed it and decided to check if his car was there (i know, sounds creepy...I swear I'm not a stalker!!!) I did see his car and WENT IN! I'm not sure why I would be so stupid (actually I think I might). I did see him but I'm not sure if he saw me. After that, i decided I need to be very careful going there! Then tonight, I really needed milk...I could've gone somewhere else Target was most on my way... I didn't check for his car, just thought he probably wouldn't be there (I'm pretty sure he is doing more overnight, stocking stuff) and went in. He was checking people out!!! Again, I saw him but don't think he saw me. I don't know what i would've done if we would've had to talk to eachother....
Why did I do this? Well, I think because I am so scared for him to move on, and he hasn't emailed in so long, I want him to see me and remember how much he misses me. I know it's horrible!!! Please don't judge!!! I don't want him back really (well I sort of do but you know what I mean) but I don't want anyone else to have him. It's like I want to keep him on a leash.
I've realized I do not feel okay, on my own, without his attention, acceptance, or "love." I think I need this to feel important and feel loved. I think any man's attention actually would do that for me.. even if it is bad attention. I think I had sex with my bf for the first time because he wanted to...I thought if I was wanted/needed for my body, that was enough for me. It's really sad actually. Of course I did grow to love him...but I have so many insecurities that were covered up by being with him. I'm just not sure how one changes these feelings/thoughts. I mean, feelings are feelings. I am in therapy, have been going to some al-anon (should go to more), journal a lot, and just started reading co-dependent no more. I understand the concepts, but they are not ingrained in my brain.
Thank you to anyone who read that!! Sorry it was so long!
EverHopeful, Thank you very much! I hope you are starting to feel better also.
I did want to share one thing. So last week (thru email) my EX told me that he got a job at Target (the Target i go to at least twice a week) and that he was starting this week. Well, yesterday I was on my way home..I passed it and decided to check if his car was there (i know, sounds creepy...I swear I'm not a stalker!!!) I did see his car and WENT IN! I'm not sure why I would be so stupid (actually I think I might). I did see him but I'm not sure if he saw me. After that, i decided I need to be very careful going there! Then tonight, I really needed milk...I could've gone somewhere else Target was most on my way... I didn't check for his car, just thought he probably wouldn't be there (I'm pretty sure he is doing more overnight, stocking stuff) and went in. He was checking people out!!! Again, I saw him but don't think he saw me. I don't know what i would've done if we would've had to talk to eachother....
Why did I do this? Well, I think because I am so scared for him to move on, and he hasn't emailed in so long, I want him to see me and remember how much he misses me. I know it's horrible!!! Please don't judge!!! I don't want him back really (well I sort of do but you know what I mean) but I don't want anyone else to have him. It's like I want to keep him on a leash.
I've realized I do not feel okay, on my own, without his attention, acceptance, or "love." I think I need this to feel important and feel loved. I think any man's attention actually would do that for me.. even if it is bad attention. I think I had sex with my bf for the first time because he wanted to...I thought if I was wanted/needed for my body, that was enough for me. It's really sad actually. Of course I did grow to love him...but I have so many insecurities that were covered up by being with him. I'm just not sure how one changes these feelings/thoughts. I mean, feelings are feelings. I am in therapy, have been going to some al-anon (should go to more), journal a lot, and just started reading co-dependent no more. I understand the concepts, but they are not ingrained in my brain.
Thank you to anyone who read that!! Sorry it was so long!
I've driven past my exes house once that we used to share once or twice...and have definitely made sure to dress up on the two occasions I knew we would run into each other.
I also don't feel like any of that is because I really want him back...it's more that I need closure and I do want to know I'm missed. We are also no contact. I'll go so far to say I really don't care if he was with another woman as long as I am missed...because I know exactly what that woman would be getting and it ain't all he talks it up to be!
I feel like my drives past and desire for him to reach out to me (which he hasn't) or at least miss me are an insecurity issue.
I think working on those insecurities can go along way. Do things that make yourself feel good so you don't need any affirmation from him.
LadySage, thank you for sharing your experience. I'm glad to know i'm not the only one who has done it!!!
I never thought about the fact that yeah, i guess i feel a little better about him being with a new girl as long as he still misses me. I believe he does miss me still..but i worry for when the day comes that he doesn't. I feel like i will always miss him! But yeah, it's definitely an insecurity issue. I need his attention to validate that i am good enough, pretty enough, etc. That shouldn't be. I just don't know how NOT to feel this way.
Have you made any progress in this? I feel that our situations are very similar. We are broken up, we are NC, i will not reach out to him but I wish he would reach out to me (he did at first but hasn't in over a week...) Thank you again for your reply!!!
I never thought about the fact that yeah, i guess i feel a little better about him being with a new girl as long as he still misses me. I believe he does miss me still..but i worry for when the day comes that he doesn't. I feel like i will always miss him! But yeah, it's definitely an insecurity issue. I need his attention to validate that i am good enough, pretty enough, etc. That shouldn't be. I just don't know how NOT to feel this way.
Have you made any progress in this? I feel that our situations are very similar. We are broken up, we are NC, i will not reach out to him but I wish he would reach out to me (he did at first but hasn't in over a week...) Thank you again for your reply!!!
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
Laurie, perhaps i will think more about getting a sponsor..I think there are many reasons that I am fearful/hessitant about it!
EverHopeful, Thank you very much! I hope you are starting to feel better also.
I did want to share one thing. So last week (thru email) my EX told me that he got a job at Target (the Target i go to at least twice a week) and that he was starting this week. Well, yesterday I was on my way home..I passed it and decided to check if his car was there (i know, sounds creepy...I swear I'm not a stalker!!!) I did see his car and WENT IN! I'm not sure why I would be so stupid (actually I think I might). I did see him but I'm not sure if he saw me. After that, i decided I need to be very careful going there! Then tonight, I really needed milk...I could've gone somewhere else Target was most on my way... I didn't check for his car, just thought he probably wouldn't be there (I'm pretty sure he is doing more overnight, stocking stuff) and went in. He was checking people out!!! Again, I saw him but don't think he saw me. I don't know what i would've done if we would've had to talk to eachother....
Why did I do this? Well, I think because I am so scared for him to move on, and he hasn't emailed in so long, I want him to see me and remember how much he misses me. I know it's horrible!!! Please don't judge!!! I don't want him back really (well I sort of do but you know what I mean) but I don't want anyone else to have him. It's like I want to keep him on a leash.
I've realized I do not feel okay, on my own, without his attention, acceptance, or "love." I think I need this to feel important and feel loved. I think any man's attention actually would do that for me.. even if it is bad attention. I think I had sex with my bf for the first time because he wanted to...I thought if I was wanted/needed for my body, that was enough for me. It's really sad actually. Of course I did grow to love him...but I have so many insecurities that were covered up by being with him. I'm just not sure how one changes these feelings/thoughts. I mean, feelings are feelings. I am in therapy, have been going to some al-anon (should go to more), journal a lot, and just started reading co-dependent no more. I understand the concepts, but they are not ingrained in my brain.
Thank you to anyone who read that!! Sorry it was so long!
EverHopeful, Thank you very much! I hope you are starting to feel better also.
I did want to share one thing. So last week (thru email) my EX told me that he got a job at Target (the Target i go to at least twice a week) and that he was starting this week. Well, yesterday I was on my way home..I passed it and decided to check if his car was there (i know, sounds creepy...I swear I'm not a stalker!!!) I did see his car and WENT IN! I'm not sure why I would be so stupid (actually I think I might). I did see him but I'm not sure if he saw me. After that, i decided I need to be very careful going there! Then tonight, I really needed milk...I could've gone somewhere else Target was most on my way... I didn't check for his car, just thought he probably wouldn't be there (I'm pretty sure he is doing more overnight, stocking stuff) and went in. He was checking people out!!! Again, I saw him but don't think he saw me. I don't know what i would've done if we would've had to talk to eachother....
Why did I do this? Well, I think because I am so scared for him to move on, and he hasn't emailed in so long, I want him to see me and remember how much he misses me. I know it's horrible!!! Please don't judge!!! I don't want him back really (well I sort of do but you know what I mean) but I don't want anyone else to have him. It's like I want to keep him on a leash.
I've realized I do not feel okay, on my own, without his attention, acceptance, or "love." I think I need this to feel important and feel loved. I think any man's attention actually would do that for me.. even if it is bad attention. I think I had sex with my bf for the first time because he wanted to...I thought if I was wanted/needed for my body, that was enough for me. It's really sad actually. Of course I did grow to love him...but I have so many insecurities that were covered up by being with him. I'm just not sure how one changes these feelings/thoughts. I mean, feelings are feelings. I am in therapy, have been going to some al-anon (should go to more), journal a lot, and just started reading co-dependent no more. I understand the concepts, but they are not ingrained in my brain.
Thank you to anyone who read that!! Sorry it was so long!
You can do this... It's hard I know because I pass by the place where my ex works and lives every day and I don't look for his truck.. I've even contemplated taking the longer way to work just so I don't have to drive by it because yeah it's tempting to swerve my head and look...
You've got this piano..
It is so hard not to check! It is literally 2 minutes from where I live and I drive by it every time I go anywhere! I have done better since then... Will keep trying! Reading other people's posts on here help me so much in looking at the reality of the situation rather than my "fantasy" of what could happen. I need to be real here! My mind tries to trick me. It really is like I am an addict!!! He is my addiction!!! Have been thinking about him less though, so I think progress is being made!
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
It is so hard not to check! It is literally 2 minutes from where I live and I drive by it every time I go anywhere! I have done better since then... Will keep trying! Reading other people's posts on here help me so much in looking at the reality of the situation rather than my "fantasy" of what could happen. I need to be real here! My mind tries to trick me. It really is like I am an addict!!! He is my addiction!!! Have been thinking about him less though, so I think progress is being made!
I agree with jerect - before C ended it with me, I was guilty of going by his house/the bar on NUMEROUS occasions to 'stalk' him, lol. And I don't even know why - I never saw HIM, just his truck. The only satisfaction I got out of going by his house was to reassure myself that nobody else was there, no other car parked in 'my' spot. But now I don't WANT to know, because I know it would just hurt me more - CRUSH me - to have that blatant proof right in front of me. I'm proud to say that since that last time I saw him at his house and he told me to leave, I have refrained from going by his house or the bar. And although it's been VERY tempting these last two weeks since he dumped me to do it (I can EASILY go by both places every day on my way home from work), again, what satisfaction am I going to get from it? It just is one more way to keep my unhealthy attachment to him and I already am having enough trouble breaking that unhealthy tie, without doing drive-bys. Stay strong, pianogirl!! We all know how hard it is and we've all been guilty of doing the same thing, but the more we can resist, the stronger and healthier we become!
you guys are right....there is no reason that I am even checking for his car! Other than to see if he is there.. why do I care? lol it's his place of work, of course he will be there sometimes. Of course part of the temptation if he IS there is to go in.......why?!?! lol to just make me anxious and like you said EverHopeful, keep the unhealthy attachment to him. Thank you thank you thank you jerect and EverHopeful!
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