lynnlucky13

I have known my boyfriend for a year, but have only been dating for 4 months. We were great friends before we started dating and were having a great 2 months, but problems started. I found out about his addiction to pain medicine and slowly over the next 2 months it became worse. He checked into rehab a week ago. He told me before he left for the 30 days he would call me. He has been distant and will not call me. I called the facility and left a message for him to call me and he didn't. I wanted to know any advise to what I can do to help support him. His mom and I were going to go visit him this weekend, but the one time I did talk to him he said he doesn't want anyone to visit him. I need advise as to what I should do. Should I visit? Should I just leave him alone for the month? I am worried about our relationship because I really want to be with him. On the other hand, I know he needs to focus on him at the moment. Any suggestions/advise??

Thank you for any input

Kindeyes

Welcome to SR.....it's a little strange when they first go into rehab....for them and for those of us who love them.

Your bf said that he doesn't want anyone to visit him right now.....believe him. Trust the folks at the rehab to do what they are trained to do and give him the space to concentrate on what he needs to do for himself. My son is currently in a long term rehab (six months) and I just saw him for the first time a few days ago....he's been there for almost four months and he's only 45 minutes away. I don't push. I seldom call him. I know he's very busy and when I do talk to him it's relaxed with no pressure or expectations.

Sometimes loved ones can be extremely distracting to a newly recovering addict from the very important business of getting clean and sober. Think about it......what's more important....your need to see him now or his need to concentrate on his recovery that will affect the rest of his life?

gentle hugs
ke

AnvilheadII

wow all that in four short months huh? you must be reeling!

he said don't visit.
don't visit.
he's broken off contact.
let that be.
trying to get off and stay off drugs is tough stuff. he is truly in a life or death battle. let him do this. however he has to.
you barely know this guy. he's a drug addict.
take this time while he is away dealing with his stuff, to deal with your own. we all have "stuff" right?

pianogirl1193

I would definitely just let him be and not visit (or really even contact him) for now. I know it is hard..but like you said, he needs this oportunity to get his life on track and put all of his focus into his recovery. If he wants your support he will ask for it. I'm sorry for what you are going through!