italiungrl

Since I have distanced myself from my ABF because of the drinking, for months taken myself out of the relationship and living like roommates, It finally came to a head.
He cheated ( blamed me)
Probably right though I didn't want to have anything to do with a every night drinker. And moved on in my life also.
However drive him too drink? Doubtful.

He begs me to reconsider I say NO, I say 2 nights ago you need to get a handle on your drinking.
He goes on full attack to protect his precious.

Today just to see what I already knew I say its sad we couldn't have worked it out like you wanted, he says No we need to pursue other relationships...
Then says he has been talking with a old HS friend. the last couple days.
LOL
Too funny would rather leave his relationship and move on then face the drinking problem.
Youd think it was a pile of GOLD
I hadn't planned on staying with him any way

So we agreed to co habitat with major boundary's Till lease is up in 6 months.
Yet I feel for the new woman he pursues and she hasn't a clue whats shes in for.
Its like Im an Accessory to her unfortunate future..
And nothing I can do to prevent her from living the life I did.

dandylion

Dear Italiungrl, she wouldn't listen to you anyway.

dandylion

italiungrl

I would have listened had anyone come forth with some information for me.

marie1960

"I would have listened had anyone come forth with some information for me." (italiungrl)

^^^^^really???^^^^


"He begs me to reconsider I say NO, I say 2 nights ago you need to get a handle on your drinking" (italiungrl)


^^^^^ why are you telling him to get a handle on his drinking? ^^^^^

. I do not know how you think you can live with him for another six months and remain healthy. As long as you share the same roof over your head, I believe you shall remain in denial.


As far as the other woman. It's not your business or concern.....

You are correct she will live the same hell you did. Nothing you can do about it.

What are you doing to get yourself to a better place?

Tuffgirl

You may have taken it into consideration, but coming from the last girlfriend, I imagine you'd have taken it with a grain of salt!

You didn't make him cheat, and you don't make him drink. I mean, really, did you force him into bed at gunpoint? Hold his mouth open to pour liquor into it? No! These are his actions, not yours. Don't own these.

Sure, you had a contribution to the dysfunction, we all do. But don't own his actions. Those were choices he, as a big boy, made all by himself. Obviously he has lousy coping skills, right?!

And lastly - good luck on the next 6 months. Although I understand the legalities of why you are staying...if you reach a point of needing to leave, be sure to review your state's landlord/tenant laws. You may find a loophole somewhere that allows you to break a lease early. Or you may find your landlord allows you out if you find a new tenant for him...there are ways!

italiungrl

I guess I am disconnecting and disengaging completely.
This is a 2800 Sq Foot condo 3 floors.

I will mind my own business and shut my mouth.

What he does now is his concern, And I will not concern myself with him or his actions or his business. I will not engage in any un needed conversation.

Remember hes keeping his drinking a a secret, in the bowels of the condo Im on the first floor.

He has his kids every other weekend and every Tuesday.
I rarely see him.

And he will honor leaving me alone for fear of his parents ( devote Christians)
And my 2 son's now knowing. The secrets he has
Ive have exhausted every possibility If I leave a judgement goes on my credit and I cant afford to pay it out my part is $6,000 Rent plus Utilities $2900

Recovering2

I agree with Tuffgirl, I would talk to your landlord about any possible options. Look for loopholes. You are putting your own serenity in a difficult situation for the next 6 months.