jzeb2008

My husband can't stop blaming me for all of the problems in our marriage and for making him leave 3 weeks ago until he gets clean. He's been leading me ob for a week that he's planning on coming home (I haven't told him that he's not.) when I can prove to HIM that I'M going to change!!!He keeps telling me that he can't just forget about the fact that I threw him out but when I mention anything about him leaving the children and I for 7 days to use 5 weeks ago (his story was that he left to teach me a lesson that I don't control him) he says that I'm living in the past. I told him this morning that I didn't ask him to live just to be a b@#%h,but because of his behavior.He's still staying with his mom and she wants him out. But she just got her pain pills this morning and I don't think that he's planning on going anywhere until their gone since he's broke, no work coming up and when he went to the doctor yesterday, they wouldn't give him anything. I told him this morning that I'm sick and tired of him stringing me along and blaming me for everything. He tried to justify his actions and I got mad so I told him that I would just go file for divorce on Monday and hung up.He called back a few minutes later and asked me to grow up and quit threatening divorce. He said that he was planning on spending the weekend at his mom's with his 14 year old daughter that he can't stand because of her attitude towards him and she HATES him because of his behavior, not being there for her the last few years and from her mother, grandmother and his mother, most of all telling her that he doesn't care about her and that he's a piece of crap.Not to mention that she's spoiled rotten and even though she can't stand her dad, she still wants to be his only child. He said that he was planning on coming home for a few days at the beginning of the week to see how things go.I told him that it's doesn't work that way.That it will not happen on his terms or time. He got mad and hung up.I don't understand why he wants to

jzeb2008

be around a mother that he really can't stand and who he knows talks bad about him and a daughter who hates him and will give him the silent treatment all weekend. He has a daughter and stepchildren at home who love him and miss him. As stupid as is may sound, I don't want him to come home like he is but I don't want him to NOT WANT to come.home.

AnvilheadII

you don't get it both ways. one of you has to take the high road here, be the grown up and do what is best for the children in your home. you asked him to leave - he did. where he chooses to go, chooses to live, is his business. you set the ultimatum that he MUST get clean before being allowed to come home. he isn't. so that is where you are and what you have to deal with.