Newcomer: Boyfriend is "recovering" addict
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1
Newcomer: Boyfriend is "recovering" addict
Hello all,
I come here in hopes of some support; have not found a group for family of addicts in my area and thought of starting one but don't know where to start. My boyfriend of almost 3 years is a recovering addict of heroine/oxycodone. I think there were other pills used at times. I got pregnant early in our relationship before I really understood what was going on and so we have twin daughters, now 2 and a son due in a couple weeks. I also have an older son myself. I work full-time so it's a busy life but I truly love it. The only thing I don't love is the unknown.
Ty got into legal trouble (due to drug use) when our girls were infants and is now in a treatment court program that has basically helped him get his head on straight. He's had couple mishaps but is now 6+ months clean, has a job and will later this year be the first to graduate from the program, assuming he stays on track. He is now assistant group leader, I forget the term, for his home NA group. I'm very proud of him. I'm very paranoid at all times though that it could all end. We've been moving and the last week has been stressful on all of us and I almost think he used. This morning very early he came home from work and I heard him talking on the back porch. Apparently 3 guys were looking into our house. We haven't put curtains or blinds up yet and so I was very creeped out as I'd been home alone all night with the kids. He checked the basement and all the windows. I laid back down in my dark bedroom and could hear him just talking away. Wondering if there really wasn't anyone there...it was dark and I don't know how he even could have seen anybody "peeking over the fence"...*sigh* we haven't gotten much sleep, him especially so hoping it is part of that..
ANYWAYS, glad to be here and hope to make some friends! I have already read some inspiring posts. I am fully prepared to end my relationship if addiction were to come back around and so it will be nice to read of others' survival.
I come here in hopes of some support; have not found a group for family of addicts in my area and thought of starting one but don't know where to start. My boyfriend of almost 3 years is a recovering addict of heroine/oxycodone. I think there were other pills used at times. I got pregnant early in our relationship before I really understood what was going on and so we have twin daughters, now 2 and a son due in a couple weeks. I also have an older son myself. I work full-time so it's a busy life but I truly love it. The only thing I don't love is the unknown.
Ty got into legal trouble (due to drug use) when our girls were infants and is now in a treatment court program that has basically helped him get his head on straight. He's had couple mishaps but is now 6+ months clean, has a job and will later this year be the first to graduate from the program, assuming he stays on track. He is now assistant group leader, I forget the term, for his home NA group. I'm very proud of him. I'm very paranoid at all times though that it could all end. We've been moving and the last week has been stressful on all of us and I almost think he used. This morning very early he came home from work and I heard him talking on the back porch. Apparently 3 guys were looking into our house. We haven't put curtains or blinds up yet and so I was very creeped out as I'd been home alone all night with the kids. He checked the basement and all the windows. I laid back down in my dark bedroom and could hear him just talking away. Wondering if there really wasn't anyone there...it was dark and I don't know how he even could have seen anybody "peeking over the fence"...*sigh* we haven't gotten much sleep, him especially so hoping it is part of that..
ANYWAYS, glad to be here and hope to make some friends! I have already read some inspiring posts. I am fully prepared to end my relationship if addiction were to come back around and so it will be nice to read of others' survival.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome to SR, take a good read around, especially the sticky threads at the top of this forum, and you will find a lot of helpful information there.
These are links to meeting lists in Michigan, for Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and CoDA, three fellowships that have helped many of us find our balance. I suggest you call before going, as information may change that doesn't show here.
Starting a meeting can be difficult unless you have a lot of meeting experience. If there are meetings anywhere near you, you may want to contact them about starting a meeting in your area and they will send people to do this and help get one going.
Al-Anon/Alateen
Michigan Nar-Anon • MI
Welcome: Meeting Resource Center
I am glad you joined us and hope you find support and understanding here.
Hugs
These are links to meeting lists in Michigan, for Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and CoDA, three fellowships that have helped many of us find our balance. I suggest you call before going, as information may change that doesn't show here.
Starting a meeting can be difficult unless you have a lot of meeting experience. If there are meetings anywhere near you, you may want to contact them about starting a meeting in your area and they will send people to do this and help get one going.
Al-Anon/Alateen
Michigan Nar-Anon • MI
Welcome: Meeting Resource Center
I am glad you joined us and hope you find support and understanding here.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Hi and welcome! Although I believe face-to-face support is very important, SR has played a significant role in my life. I hope it will help you too.
There aren't as many Nar-Anon meetings around as there are Al-Anon meetings. You might check into those meetings. The basic concepts are very similar and the rooms of Al-Anon are full of people whose loved ones are addicts.
On a side note, Ann is right.....it is a good idea to have some experienced people participate in getting a meeting started but even having someone with experience from Al-Anon would be able to help establish a Nar-Anon group. And it's not too tough to do so I would encourage people to start new groups. My home group has branched off two new groups in the last year and we're working on a third. The hardest part so far is being patient while news of the group gets out there and attendance builds.
Again.....welcome to SR......glad to know that your BF is taking some positive steps forward. It's really nice when you can get support for you. I hope you'll find a meeting soon.
gentle hugs
ke
There aren't as many Nar-Anon meetings around as there are Al-Anon meetings. You might check into those meetings. The basic concepts are very similar and the rooms of Al-Anon are full of people whose loved ones are addicts.
On a side note, Ann is right.....it is a good idea to have some experienced people participate in getting a meeting started but even having someone with experience from Al-Anon would be able to help establish a Nar-Anon group. And it's not too tough to do so I would encourage people to start new groups. My home group has branched off two new groups in the last year and we're working on a third. The hardest part so far is being patient while news of the group gets out there and attendance builds.
Again.....welcome to SR......glad to know that your BF is taking some positive steps forward. It's really nice when you can get support for you. I hope you'll find a meeting soon.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Apparently 3 guys were looking into our house. We haven't put curtains or blinds up yet and so I was very creeped out as I'd been home alone all night with the kids. He checked the basement and all the windows. I laid back down in my dark bedroom and could hear him just talking away. Wondering if there really wasn't anyone there...it was dark and I don't know how he even could have seen anybody "peeking over the fence"...*sigh*
You have your hands full - twins and a baby on the way. Lots of blessings. Lots of work. Do you have family or anyone nearby that can help you in addition to your boyfriend? I really hope you can find a support group. Usually where there is an NA/AA meeting, there is a family support group nearby. Keep looking.
In the meantime. Glad you found this website.
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