How does this happen?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Kelowna BC
Posts: 8
How does this happen?
How did I get here? How did I end up loving and trusting someone so much . Waiting for them while in rehab only to find love letters from other patients and now ... Still being lied to . He relapsed, I didn't know what to do so I i continued to beg him to come clean , he faked a **** test then I left n said if he doesn't get help ill have to tell someone . Well he beat me to it . He told his parents whatever he wanted and I got a txt saying to not contact his parents from his mom. It's all twisted and I'm out to b te bad guy again!! Just like before he went to rehab , how do they still believ him ?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 409
Im sorry you're having difficulty and that your addict betrayed your trust.
Perhaps what you should Do is welcome the no contact for now . Work on you and let him work on him. If he faked a drug test After rehab, he is not ready yet....the last thing he needs is trying to appease his other half (you). He has a lot of hard work ahead of him.
As for the love letter from rehab, did you ever think that in a place full of hurt people and emotionally needy clients that he has absolutely No Control over someone developing a crush on him and writing him a letter. "Rehab romances" happen often, though they are usually forbidden (by the facility rules). One reason they happen is that it gives a focus on other than recovery. Early recovery in an institution is I
Often very emotionally trying, digging into past hurts and repressed feelings. Just wondering how you found these letters? We're you going through his private possessions?
That also is unhealthy, I think. Just some food for thought. Best wishes for you both!
Perhaps what you should Do is welcome the no contact for now . Work on you and let him work on him. If he faked a drug test After rehab, he is not ready yet....the last thing he needs is trying to appease his other half (you). He has a lot of hard work ahead of him.
As for the love letter from rehab, did you ever think that in a place full of hurt people and emotionally needy clients that he has absolutely No Control over someone developing a crush on him and writing him a letter. "Rehab romances" happen often, though they are usually forbidden (by the facility rules). One reason they happen is that it gives a focus on other than recovery. Early recovery in an institution is I
Often very emotionally trying, digging into past hurts and repressed feelings. Just wondering how you found these letters? We're you going through his private possessions?
That also is unhealthy, I think. Just some food for thought. Best wishes for you both!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It breaks our hearts, no matter what the relationship, to realize that the loved one we know is lost to addiction and will lie and manipulate and steal from...just to feed the habit. It doesn`t matter who they do it to, they are really doing it to themselves and leave those who love them to pick up the debris.
We can`t change them, and can`t control them. All we can do is step back and find a way to heal ourselves while praying that one day they find a better path.
It doesn`t matter what your loved one is doing or saying to anyone, as long as you can remain honest with yourself and face the reality that addiction will drag anyone who hangs on down with the addict. I know this because I almost died before I let go of my son.
Hugs
We can`t change them, and can`t control them. All we can do is step back and find a way to heal ourselves while praying that one day they find a better path.
It doesn`t matter what your loved one is doing or saying to anyone, as long as you can remain honest with yourself and face the reality that addiction will drag anyone who hangs on down with the addict. I know this because I almost died before I let go of my son.
Hugs
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