What happened?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 153
What happened?
What happened?
Last night, my wife asked me what happened to finally cause me to stop drinking. I thought about it for awhile and really could not come up with any specific event or single reason.
I had known for several years I was drinking too much and too often. I was actually planning on talking with my brother who is a recovered alcoholic when I visited four years ago. I chickened out and didn't. I thought of talking to him again last summer during a visit but could not work up the nerve.
Last year, I stopped for 12 days trying to go for 30. This was part of Moderation Management. The whole 12 days I felt deprived and angry.
During the past two years I bought and read a number of books on alcoholism and how to stop drinking. The Big Book, Rational Recovery, Alan Carr's Easyway to Stop Drinking. Several of Albert Ellis' books on stopping drinking, SMART recovery materials and probably ten other memoirs and books on quitting.
Last fall I called our employee assistance program and scheduled an appointment which I later cancelled. I tried switching to beer only.
17 weeks ago I quit using tobacco of any type. This gave me some confidence I could also tackle alcohol. I re read RR and a few other books for some tips and motivation and set a date. The week I week before I was to quit, I had several mornings vomiting and dry heaves. I also had been having diarrhea almost daily, poor sleep and night sweats almost nightly. I knew I was ruining my health.
The weeks before quitting, I set up a folder on my ipad for notes, tips, goals and exercises such as a Cost Benefit Analysis and other Smart recovery tools.
With a three day weekend coming up, I set Saturday as my quit day. Friday night, I drank a pint of vodka and woke up ready Saturday to detox and get started. The weekend was not much fun but manageable. I had a good bit of itching on my skin and some nausea. I was pretty anxious and had a heck of a time sleeping. I drank gallons of water and G2 Gatorade and curled up in my chair with books to read.
By Monday night, I was ready to pour out the liquor in my house. My wife and I did this together and there was a shared joy.
Was there an event or anything I could point to that motivated me? Not really. I guess I was sick of being sick. Tired of being a drunk. Worried about my health and waiting for something bad or tragic to happen. I had been despondent and hopeless for some time and really did not care. I got to the point I wanted to be there for my wife, children and grandchildren. I wanted to watch them grow up and wanted to do it sober and healthy.
Has the last three weeks been easy? No. Has it been horrible and terrible? Not that either. I have stayed focused on my goals and used a lot of AVRT as well as cognitive behavioral stuff when tempted. I have spent at least an hour each day reading my bible and have done a lot of talking to God throughout the day.
Although there have been some tough times, I now have hope and am feeling very thankful. I still cannot get my head around the challenge of never drinking again but that is the commitment I have made. Although I am not doing a 12 step approach, I am doing this one day at a time. I beleive now that my alcohol abuse was a sin and have confessed it to God. It was robbing me of my health, energy, joy and hope. It was isolating me from my family and friends. It had gone from being my friend to my deadliest enemy.
Many AA folks talk about needing to hit the bottom before a person is ready to begin recovery. In my case, I felt like I had been digging a hole for years, one shovel at a time. As I got deeper, I got where I could not see out of the top. All I could see was my drinking. It was consuming my life and I hated the view from there. I had to lay down my shovel and stop drinking.
I thank God I had no DUI's, legal problems, job issues, divorce, major medical issues, etc... I believe He spared me those things but I have no doubt if I had not quit, they were eventually going to happen.
Now I am three weeks sober and well on my way to a sober lifestyle. I am not sure how God will use this but have a sense there is a purpose for all I have gone through. I feel closer to Him and to my wife than I have been for years. I am getting untangled from the net of alcohol, one strand at a time and am so thankful for where I am.
Last night, my wife asked me what happened to finally cause me to stop drinking. I thought about it for awhile and really could not come up with any specific event or single reason.
I had known for several years I was drinking too much and too often. I was actually planning on talking with my brother who is a recovered alcoholic when I visited four years ago. I chickened out and didn't. I thought of talking to him again last summer during a visit but could not work up the nerve.
Last year, I stopped for 12 days trying to go for 30. This was part of Moderation Management. The whole 12 days I felt deprived and angry.
During the past two years I bought and read a number of books on alcoholism and how to stop drinking. The Big Book, Rational Recovery, Alan Carr's Easyway to Stop Drinking. Several of Albert Ellis' books on stopping drinking, SMART recovery materials and probably ten other memoirs and books on quitting.
Last fall I called our employee assistance program and scheduled an appointment which I later cancelled. I tried switching to beer only.
17 weeks ago I quit using tobacco of any type. This gave me some confidence I could also tackle alcohol. I re read RR and a few other books for some tips and motivation and set a date. The week I week before I was to quit, I had several mornings vomiting and dry heaves. I also had been having diarrhea almost daily, poor sleep and night sweats almost nightly. I knew I was ruining my health.
The weeks before quitting, I set up a folder on my ipad for notes, tips, goals and exercises such as a Cost Benefit Analysis and other Smart recovery tools.
With a three day weekend coming up, I set Saturday as my quit day. Friday night, I drank a pint of vodka and woke up ready Saturday to detox and get started. The weekend was not much fun but manageable. I had a good bit of itching on my skin and some nausea. I was pretty anxious and had a heck of a time sleeping. I drank gallons of water and G2 Gatorade and curled up in my chair with books to read.
By Monday night, I was ready to pour out the liquor in my house. My wife and I did this together and there was a shared joy.
Was there an event or anything I could point to that motivated me? Not really. I guess I was sick of being sick. Tired of being a drunk. Worried about my health and waiting for something bad or tragic to happen. I had been despondent and hopeless for some time and really did not care. I got to the point I wanted to be there for my wife, children and grandchildren. I wanted to watch them grow up and wanted to do it sober and healthy.
Has the last three weeks been easy? No. Has it been horrible and terrible? Not that either. I have stayed focused on my goals and used a lot of AVRT as well as cognitive behavioral stuff when tempted. I have spent at least an hour each day reading my bible and have done a lot of talking to God throughout the day.
Although there have been some tough times, I now have hope and am feeling very thankful. I still cannot get my head around the challenge of never drinking again but that is the commitment I have made. Although I am not doing a 12 step approach, I am doing this one day at a time. I beleive now that my alcohol abuse was a sin and have confessed it to God. It was robbing me of my health, energy, joy and hope. It was isolating me from my family and friends. It had gone from being my friend to my deadliest enemy.
Many AA folks talk about needing to hit the bottom before a person is ready to begin recovery. In my case, I felt like I had been digging a hole for years, one shovel at a time. As I got deeper, I got where I could not see out of the top. All I could see was my drinking. It was consuming my life and I hated the view from there. I had to lay down my shovel and stop drinking.
I thank God I had no DUI's, legal problems, job issues, divorce, major medical issues, etc... I believe He spared me those things but I have no doubt if I had not quit, they were eventually going to happen.
Now I am three weeks sober and well on my way to a sober lifestyle. I am not sure how God will use this but have a sense there is a purpose for all I have gone through. I feel closer to Him and to my wife than I have been for years. I am getting untangled from the net of alcohol, one strand at a time and am so thankful for where I am.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Thank you for your post, and congratulations on your sober time x
I sometimes look back and wonder what it was that finally did it for me too. I didn't have a 'rock bottom' in the true sense of the word. Although looking back there had been several events that should have served as one...!
I was just miserable, anxious, depressed and making myself more and more physically unwell. I couldn't see the joy or beauty in anything and life was passing me by.
Giving up alcohol was the best decision I ever made, and my life has changed immeasurably for the better.
However we do it, it's worth doing xx
I sometimes look back and wonder what it was that finally did it for me too. I didn't have a 'rock bottom' in the true sense of the word. Although looking back there had been several events that should have served as one...!
I was just miserable, anxious, depressed and making myself more and more physically unwell. I couldn't see the joy or beauty in anything and life was passing me by.
Giving up alcohol was the best decision I ever made, and my life has changed immeasurably for the better.
However we do it, it's worth doing xx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Good for you for taking action before something really bad happened. I quit before I had lost anything last september. Then I relapsed and got a DUI and spent 5 days in the hospital. I sometimes wish I never relapsed but for this alcoholic, maybe I needed to hit a deeper bottom. I am getting so many gifts in sobriety. It isn't always easy or fun but totally worth it.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
After many failed attempts over 2 decades to moderate or quit, I was resigned to the fact that something tragic was going to have to happen to 'wake me up'. DUI, lose the job, wife kicks me out, fall down the steps, etc.
In the end it didn't come to that. I don't know why. It just didn't. Two 4-day weekend binges in a row were somehow enough. The looks of misery on the faces of my wife and daughter were somehow enough. My wife did draw a 'line in the sand' but I already knew it was time. A blessed moment of clarity? I don't know. I woke up still drunk and poured out the rest of my liquor. The morning before I was pouring it into my face. That day it went down the sink. It was simply time.
We are in the same place now, Brother. Breathing the free air. 
In the end it didn't come to that. I don't know why. It just didn't. Two 4-day weekend binges in a row were somehow enough. The looks of misery on the faces of my wife and daughter were somehow enough. My wife did draw a 'line in the sand' but I already knew it was time. A blessed moment of clarity? I don't know. I woke up still drunk and poured out the rest of my liquor. The morning before I was pouring it into my face. That day it went down the sink. It was simply time.
Originally Posted by Booniecat 
I am not sure how God will use this but have a sense there is a purpose for all I have gone through. I feel closer to Him and to my wife than I have been for years. I am getting untangled from the net of alcohol, one strand at a time and am so thankful for where I am.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Your experience is similar to mine......no dramatic events, but a slow dawning that it wasn't for me anymore. I sometimes wonder how I could have ever valued wine more than my husband, gardening, walking etc..........coming up on nine months and I continue to feel better in all areas of my life.
Well done. Stay sober
Well done. Stay sober
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand
Posts: 251
"Your experience is similar to mine......no dramatic events, but a slow dawning that it wasn't for me anymore. I sometimes wonder how I could have ever valued wine more than my husband, gardening, walking etc..........coming up on nine months and I continue to feel better in all areas of my life." Great post....
Change Husband to wife....and this is me too...
Change Husband to wife....and this is me too...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 153
Tray is my 21st day. I was just thinking how scared and uncomfortable I was that Saturday I stopped drinking. Thanks so much to all the forum members for your support, advice and counsel.
The changes I have already seen in my life are amazing. Now I need to make a plan to quit chewing nicotine gum. I am 17 weeks from the last time I had any tobacco and want to quit the nicotine totally. The gum is ridiculously expensive and it is time to be free of that also.
The changes I have already seen in my life are amazing. Now I need to make a plan to quit chewing nicotine gum. I am 17 weeks from the last time I had any tobacco and want to quit the nicotine totally. The gum is ridiculously expensive and it is time to be free of that also.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
I thank God I had no DUI's, legal problems, job issues, divorce, major medical issues, etc... I believe He spared me those things but I have no doubt if I had not quit, they were eventually going to happen.
Same here. But I finally got the clarity to see that this stuff was in my future if I didn't stop drinking. Now the combination of AA and SR is helping me to stay sober.
Same here. But I finally got the clarity to see that this stuff was in my future if I didn't stop drinking. Now the combination of AA and SR is helping me to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Boulder County, Co
Posts: 130
My story is one of the alternatives that could befall some one that doesn't heed the signs to quit. When I was 26 I had been a raging drunk for ten years already. My friends (even the ones that I partied with constantly) and family were concerned that they were going to lose me and were trying to get me to quit. It got to the point that I was ready too but couldn't quit.
On April 15th 2006 I was out with my girlfriend and had been drinking for a couple of days straight and we got in a fight at a bar in a bad part of town that we frequented. I got mad and left and accepted a ride from a passing car. They drove me towards my house but before we got there they pulled into a side street and pulled a gun and tried to rob me. I fought back and they shot me through the neck and took the 30 dollars I had on me and my phone. I got up and knocked on a door for help and an ambulance took me to a hospital where I was in a coma for 4 days. Amazingly the bullet missed my spine and arteries but it was still touch and go for a couple of days because of swelling and the detox (.487 bac is what they told me.).
After i was released from the hospital I continued drinking for a few weeks till I realized that I was wasting my second chance. My sobriety lasted for 5 years till a relapse about a year ago that I am fighting to beat right now. This time has been harder because the is not that one traumatic event to smack me back to reality but what I do know is that I have lost most of what I gained during my sobriety including an amazing woman.
Hearing your story is very helpful in that you weren't sure why you quit but life is already better. Thank you for posting and good luck.
T
On April 15th 2006 I was out with my girlfriend and had been drinking for a couple of days straight and we got in a fight at a bar in a bad part of town that we frequented. I got mad and left and accepted a ride from a passing car. They drove me towards my house but before we got there they pulled into a side street and pulled a gun and tried to rob me. I fought back and they shot me through the neck and took the 30 dollars I had on me and my phone. I got up and knocked on a door for help and an ambulance took me to a hospital where I was in a coma for 4 days. Amazingly the bullet missed my spine and arteries but it was still touch and go for a couple of days because of swelling and the detox (.487 bac is what they told me.).
After i was released from the hospital I continued drinking for a few weeks till I realized that I was wasting my second chance. My sobriety lasted for 5 years till a relapse about a year ago that I am fighting to beat right now. This time has been harder because the is not that one traumatic event to smack me back to reality but what I do know is that I have lost most of what I gained during my sobriety including an amazing woman.
Hearing your story is very helpful in that you weren't sure why you quit but life is already better. Thank you for posting and good luck.
T
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
I didn't have that moment either, last October I decided I needed to stop. I had a few slip ups in January/February thinking I could just have a few glasses of wine, but I quickly saw that leading back to a daily habit.
It is definitely not always easy, I know I need to make more of a commitment to recovery again. I am going to spend more time on SR and back to reading more.
It is definitely not always easy, I know I need to make more of a commitment to recovery again. I am going to spend more time on SR and back to reading more.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 82
I guess my moment was when I determined I had a physical addiction to alcohol and it scared the hell out of me. It took a day to do the research I needed to, 5 days to detox gradually and since then I've not looked back. Tomorrow will be 3 weeks for me. I'm lucky in that have I have my family and home and things didn't get any worse. Maybe to others I didn't exactly hit 'rock bottom' but I scraped up against it close enough to prove to me that I needed to take control of this once and for all.
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