Starting again ...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 21
Starting again ...
I'm sober 7 days now. Last week I went to work drunk, met a cooworker outside who convinced me not to go in in the state I was in thank god.
I've been on sick leave since. I've struggled with drink over 20 years, I have had 9 years continuous sobriety, and stops and starts over the last 4 years.
Going to work drunk was a new low for me. It really does just get worse. Words cant express how much shame I feel - about what my cooworkers think of me etc and my drinking in general. For me now its either kill myself or stay sober. that's the bottom line. Thanks for listening
I've been on sick leave since. I've struggled with drink over 20 years, I have had 9 years continuous sobriety, and stops and starts over the last 4 years.
Going to work drunk was a new low for me. It really does just get worse. Words cant express how much shame I feel - about what my cooworkers think of me etc and my drinking in general. For me now its either kill myself or stay sober. that's the bottom line. Thanks for listening
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome dublingal!
It got worse for me, too, once I picked up a drink again. It took a couple of l-o-n-g relapses for me to finally accept I'd never find a way to drink successfully.
Glad you're here - things really will get better once you get sober, even though I'm sure it doesn't feel like it right now. Keep reading and posting - we really do know what you're going through.
It got worse for me, too, once I picked up a drink again. It took a couple of l-o-n-g relapses for me to finally accept I'd never find a way to drink successfully.
Glad you're here - things really will get better once you get sober, even though I'm sure it doesn't feel like it right now. Keep reading and posting - we really do know what you're going through.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 277
We are all here to support you. You mentioned that you had 9 years continuous sobriety. It is a great achievement already. Amongst all of us at SR here, you will be able count very few on fingertips , having 9 years continuous sobriety. If you did that time, you can surely do again. We do not know what triggered the relapse 4 years ago but it may be goo idea to seek help from some Counselor. If you are already 7 days sober, most probably you have been through withdrawals.. So it is just about finding some thing else which excites you.. It is easier said than done but please do try some activity , you love.. It will get better and better.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by dublingal 
I'm sober 7 days now. Last week I went to work drunk, met a cooworker outside who convinced me not to go in in the state I was in thank god.
I've been on sick leave since. I've struggled with drink over 20 years, I have had 9 years continuous sobriety, and stops and starts over the last 4 years.
Going to work drunk was a new low for me. It really does just get worse. Words cant express how much shame I feel - about what my cooworkers think of me etc and my drinking in general. For me now its either kill myself or stay sober. that's the bottom line. Thanks for listening
I've been on sick leave since. I've struggled with drink over 20 years, I have had 9 years continuous sobriety, and stops and starts over the last 4 years.
Going to work drunk was a new low for me. It really does just get worse. Words cant express how much shame I feel - about what my cooworkers think of me etc and my drinking in general. For me now its either kill myself or stay sober. that's the bottom line. Thanks for listening
All the best.
Bob R
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Hi dublingal. Great job on 8 sober days - and I'm glad you feel better.
I went to work drunk, too - and drove. I was completely dependent on it in the end. I had 3 yrs. sober once and then went back to it for 7 insane years. It was destroying my life and stealing my soul - I had to stop and never go back. It sounds like you're ready to be free of it. It's a wonderful feeling to break those chains. We're so glad you're here. You can do this.
I went to work drunk, too - and drove. I was completely dependent on it in the end. I had 3 yrs. sober once and then went back to it for 7 insane years. It was destroying my life and stealing my soul - I had to stop and never go back. It sounds like you're ready to be free of it. It's a wonderful feeling to break those chains. We're so glad you're here. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
All you can do is move forward. Try not to let the feelings of shame weigh you down. It could have been so much worse. You didn't hurt anyone except yourself and I bet there is new gossip about something else being spread around the office. That's how it is at my job anyway! Glad you are here 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters
Can I ask how you managed to be sober for 9 years..... and why you changed what you were doing to be sober ?
All the best.
Bob R
All the best.
Bob R
I went to rehab and afterwards aftercare plus AA. I HATED AA and did not go that often really.I think it was the aftercare (small group that I knew) kept me well for the 2 years it lasted and then I was on my feet.
I moved to a small town where everyone knew each other and did go to a few aa meetings but found it uncomfortable as people all talked about each other and it was not really anonymous. I started drinking again in a careless moment and meant to stop straight away but it lasted (with several breaks of a month, 6 weeks, even 1 4 month stretch) for 4 horrible years.
I cant go back to drinking, I'm so afraid of what will happen. Praying constantly for help. Thanks for your post.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Boulder County, Co
Posts: 130
In the same boat
Dublin,
I am currently trying to end a 1 year relapse after 5 years of sobriety during which I was more of a dry drunk than anything. In the past year I have lost most of what I have gained in the previous 5. Been looking for meetings and recovery groups in my area that suit my beliefs but have found none which is why I am here. I am not trying to hijack your thread just want to let you know that you are not alone in slipping and that if you have been sober before you can do it again because I know that I can and will. I wish you luck and will keep you in my thoughts.
T
I am currently trying to end a 1 year relapse after 5 years of sobriety during which I was more of a dry drunk than anything. In the past year I have lost most of what I have gained in the previous 5. Been looking for meetings and recovery groups in my area that suit my beliefs but have found none which is why I am here. I am not trying to hijack your thread just want to let you know that you are not alone in slipping and that if you have been sober before you can do it again because I know that I can and will. I wish you luck and will keep you in my thoughts.
T
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
H Dublingal,
I am back as well. I had three. On the and for some reason sometime in January thought having a glass of wine was ok. The glass turned into a glass most nights, and then last night several glasses at a work function, woke up this morning feeling yucky, forced myself to am advanced Pilates class which was NOT fun.
Spent the day with my son since my girls have a slumber party and now I am on here, and about to settle down with a new book. So day one for me today. I am trying to just focus on being in the present and not obsess about counting, but I k is that I do need to be accountable.
Looking forward to seeing you on here. :$
I am back as well. I had three. On the and for some reason sometime in January thought having a glass of wine was ok. The glass turned into a glass most nights, and then last night several glasses at a work function, woke up this morning feeling yucky, forced myself to am advanced Pilates class which was NOT fun.
Spent the day with my son since my girls have a slumber party and now I am on here, and about to settle down with a new book. So day one for me today. I am trying to just focus on being in the present and not obsess about counting, but I k is that I do need to be accountable.
Looking forward to seeing you on here. :$
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Dublingal,
good to see you choose this direction.
eight days is a great start, no matter how it feels.
and just to mention that Dublin does have secular meetings (LifeRing) if AA isn't your thing but you decide you want to have some face-to-face support in addition to on-line.
good to see you choose this direction.
eight days is a great start, no matter how it feels.
and just to mention that Dublin does have secular meetings (LifeRing) if AA isn't your thing but you decide you want to have some face-to-face support in addition to on-line.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by T4texas
Dublin,
I am currently trying to end a 1 year relapse after 5 years of sobriety during which I was more of a dry drunk than anything. In the past year I have lost most of what I have gained in the previous 5. Been looking for meetings and recovery groups in my area that suit my beliefs but have found none which is why I am here. I am not trying to hijack your thread just want to let you know that you are not alone in slipping and that if you have been sober before you can do it again because I know that I can and will. I wish you luck and will keep you in my thoughts.
T
I am currently trying to end a 1 year relapse after 5 years of sobriety during which I was more of a dry drunk than anything. In the past year I have lost most of what I have gained in the previous 5. Been looking for meetings and recovery groups in my area that suit my beliefs but have found none which is why I am here. I am not trying to hijack your thread just want to let you know that you are not alone in slipping and that if you have been sober before you can do it again because I know that I can and will. I wish you luck and will keep you in my thoughts.
T
The problem is that I can stop but I cannot stay stopped. I have learned a lot on this site over the past few days. I guess I was hoping that this problem would somehow sort itself out, and that I would lose all desire for drink and never drink again (without me doing anything!). That's pretty crazy. Today I feel much better, still drink free and no desire for a drink. My plan at the moment is to keep using SR and praying and going to a councellor for support.
Hope your day is going well
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by fini
Dublingal,
good to see you choose this direction.
eight days is a great start, no matter how it feels.
and just to mention that Dublin does have secular meetings (LifeRing) if AA isn't your thing but you decide you want to have some face-to-face support in addition to on-line.
good to see you choose this direction.
eight days is a great start, no matter how it feels.
and just to mention that Dublin does have secular meetings (LifeRing) if AA isn't your thing but you decide you want to have some face-to-face support in addition to on-line.
I'm not actually in Dublin, although I tried a lifering meeting in Dublin a year back and liked it. Lifering seems to be slowly speading over the rest of Ireland. All the best..
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