Kanina

Hello everyone, I'm Kanina, I'm Irish and I'm on day 4 of not drinking. Things had gotten fairly out of control for me in this past year, and I really didn't want my family to find out how much I had messed up. In the past 6 years, quitting seemed to come into my mind fairly regularly, but I always found a reason not to. I don't enjoy myself when I drink anymore, I think I'm going to, but I never do. But I can't seem to stop once I start. I'm so tired of the guilt, the shame, the paranoia. I don't like myself when I'm drunk, and I despise myself when I'm hungover. So I figured "Life's too short for feeling this sh*t". It's difficult to unlearn habits of the last fifteen or so years. It's difficult to ignore the voice in my head that assures me it'll make me feel better, and I'm useless without it. And f*ckkk it, it seems this was a real tough week to get sober! One thing after another, to the point where I thought Karma was having an absolute laugh at my expense... Anyway, sorry for the lengthy post, I'm hoping to get support here, and to help others if I can, and kick this thing once and for all So hello, and nice to be here

LexieCat

Welcome, Kanina!

Any week is a good week to get sober.

So how do you plan to STAY sober? AA has been great for me (four and a half years).

Hevyn

It's wonderful to have you here, Kanina. You sound so ready to kick this stuff out of your life. We know you can do it, and you are not alone - you have us now.

Congratulations on your 4 days.

Tammy47

Welcome, Kanina (fellow Irish person). I'm day 20. SR has helped me so much to remain sober. Great support and advice here. I too was so tired of the guilt, shame etc (and have kept it from my family and friends), so I finally took the plunge. Pleasantly shocked that its working one day at a time. I'm attending a support group along with SR, as I found I could not do it alone. Best of luck, and continued success

kizzy40

I identify with your post so much kanina, welcome and well done... the hard part is abstaining, now it time to heal. Seek out as much support as you need, it's horses for courses really, wishing you well we are all travelling the same road

Kanina

Aw, thanks everyone for your replies! LexieCat, I have been to one AA meeting before...and I think I will go back. Tbh, the last few days I haven't really felt like doing anything, it's all I can do to drag my ass to college. I'll get there though Thanks again, folks.

auden67

Be kind to yourself the first few weeks. A lot of feelings can rush in...pride for stopping, fear of the unknown, guilt of past transgressions. The biggest lesson I learned with sobriety is that we all have capabilities beyond what we imagine, and its important to forgive ourselves and move on. In the first few weeks, I read a lot of addiction memoirs and said no to a lot of social activities. No one minded really. But it was important for me to have time to "practice" being sober, i.e. how to handle uncomfortable or stressful situations, even fun ones like parties. Over time, it got easier and I learned to deal with situations on my terms. It really is a wonderful choice for yourself, if you know you have a problem with drinking. The amount my life has improved is crazy. Good luck, keep posting and visit often! I read SR nearly everyday for the first few months, just to get advice and fellowship. You are definitely not alone.

Kanina

Thanks Auden67, that's some good advice right there Today has been pretty hard going so far, I spent most of it in school, and then just bawled crying all the way home, like a feckin' child... I don't even know exactly what I'm sad over, I didn't want to drink or anything, so I wasn't feeling hard done by over that... I just felt so...vulnerable or insignificant or forgotten or something. Not sleeping so well, so I'd say it's just over-tiredness. Anyway, got a presentation due tomorrow, so got lots to occupy myself this evening, and I guess I'll be hanging round here also, so I don't feel so... sh*te.

britabroad

Kanina, welcome. I'm very new to this, not doing well today and went to my first AA meeting only yesterday, so I can't yet offer you much advice.

Just wanted to let you know I identify with a lot of what you said. ((Hugs)). Hopefully we can beat this together. X