WILLOW01

Hi all. Hope everyone is doing well. This is my first post and probably my first acknowledgement to others that I have a problem. Though ! for many years I deluded myself that I had no problem. I function "normally" or what I perceive to be normally !!!! My friends and most of my family have NO idea about my addiction, I don't have to break the law to feed my addiction and I get my drug of choice from legal source...So what's the issue. The issue is that I have deluded myself for long enough. On Monday I decided to take responsibility for my 10 year Codeine addiction. MY NAME IS WILLOW AND I'M ADDICTED TO CODEINE.



This is day three without my "security blanket" I feel like ****, but I know it will get better. I don't know why now, but now seems right for me.

I'm very humbled to read some accounts on this forum and it's a privilege to be a member.



Willow X

ReadyAtLast

Welcome to SR Willow

Oz11

You did day1, you did day 2 and you are on day 3 great job and just keep working the minutes and the minutes will turn into days. I am on day 11. Somehow I lost a few days because I thought it was less. Guess it is because I still having some withdraws. My script was drug called tramadol and Vicodin. Used them for over 15 year, had no Dr say I was addicted, but I knew. So good luck,keep posting and reading this site it helped me soooo much.it will get better.

WILLOW01

It is day three, it's bad I'm not going to say it's not. I can cope (just about) with the physical symptoms, some not being too nice. My head is very jumbled. It's that little voice in my head saying allsorts at the moment. I've hypothetically squashed her so many times today.

In the past I've rewarded myself on down days by swallowing a few extra to feel better, On good days I've done the same ! just because I could.

I've hid my addiction well and I now refuse to hide it but challenge it head on, one minuet at a time. Thank you for the support.

Coldfusion

Keep posting--this site will help you get through those early days!

julez

Willow, you sound like you're doing awesome. Congrats and welcome.

YouRmySunshine

Hello & Welcome Willow, it is not an easy thing to admit we are powerless. You made a great step in posting here & sharing.
I hope you are able to find a plan & good recovery system. Looking forward to hearing more about your journey.
Blessings

Dee74

Hey Willow

it's great to have you here - there's a ton of support - make yourself at home

D

WILLOW01

Day three is nearing an end and it's been a comfort to find this forum, self acknowledgement was the first step. I've been a complete nightmare today, spent a lot of time in bed "pretending" I have flu, the rest of the time was spent trying to focus on anything else but pills. My poor husband can't do right for doing wrong. The guilt that I did this to myself is bad. I also worry about the new me, how absurd is that. !!

Thank you all X

fini

welcome, willow.
and good going on three days!

ha! i worried about the new me, too, as i just couldn't knowe who i'd be...
you'll likely end up liking her, after things settle for you.
hang in there.

YouRmySunshine

Yea! For day 3! Stay strong.
And no not absurd at all - normal from what I am learning.
We spent so long learning how to live "sick" the thought of change & a whole different way of living is overwhelming.
Just keep reaching out, expand your sober support system as much as possible, here, meetings, reading. There are people out there that understand and want to help.

Prayers~