detox and then
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
detox and then
Ah was off and he detoxed at home. I bear witness to that fact. He didnt leave or leave my sight for a period of days. It was a tough cookie to swallow but he put the bottle down over a week ago and succumbed to the first step. His choice and recognized his life was unmanageable. For the first time in a long time for a week+ I could relax in my own home. I wasnt worried about what he was or wasnt doing and I guess you could say snapped enirely to the realization he was in control of himself and his choices. I realized that so much when he put the bottle down and hadnt had a drink infront of my very eyes and it had nothing to do with me. I did go through a quick thought process within the first few days of saddness because I knew it had nothing to do with me or our kids. It was his choice because he cared about himself. I know codieness but I brushed it off and said so what.
Then at a week and 2 days we went out he was aggitated and when we got back home I put our toddler to bed he ran out to go get a pack of cigarettes and when he returned my gut was warning me. Yup. He got himself a drink and I caught him. I wasnt snooping I gave him a kiss and I could smell it. I dont drink so its obvious thats what it was. I guess I made a face (I wasnt going to point it out or say something) and he just told me yes I got something and then he cried.
He told me its hard and he feels like crap. He doesnt want to drink but its an itch.
He said he felt ashamed and he likes being in control of himself (ie not intoxicated)
Not to mention how healthy he looks without it. He got compliments at work at how he looked and co workers kept asking him what his secret was. Little did they know its not drinking.
Anyhow he said he had a little left and wanted to finish drinking it
And almost what seemed like asking for my blessing.
In short I told him "its your choice. Your decision" I told him that about tomorrow and everyday after. Im not telling you what to do or what not to do.
That bothered him even more because I was "staying out if it".
But saying that and feeling like that frees me.
I know a wk and 1/2 day (minus the night he drank) is nothing in the whole
But without giving my hopes up I hope he keeps fighting but so far so good.
I know he doesnt want to drink. I can tell but that he needs to keep working the program and move forward.
Anyhow just an update. Im doing great. I have been getting amazing sleep. Leaving him to his own. I think hes had two days of major agitation and quaking one being the day he got a drink (he was quaking before he drank though) and ive had oodles of me time even whilst living with an ra? And hes been leaving me to my own. Ive been leaving him to his. Hes all there upstairs atleast more so than when he drank constantly but of course much more to do.
Thats his business though and thanks for listening. Bless you all
Then at a week and 2 days we went out he was aggitated and when we got back home I put our toddler to bed he ran out to go get a pack of cigarettes and when he returned my gut was warning me. Yup. He got himself a drink and I caught him. I wasnt snooping I gave him a kiss and I could smell it. I dont drink so its obvious thats what it was. I guess I made a face (I wasnt going to point it out or say something) and he just told me yes I got something and then he cried.
He told me its hard and he feels like crap. He doesnt want to drink but its an itch.
He said he felt ashamed and he likes being in control of himself (ie not intoxicated)
Not to mention how healthy he looks without it. He got compliments at work at how he looked and co workers kept asking him what his secret was. Little did they know its not drinking.
Anyhow he said he had a little left and wanted to finish drinking it
And almost what seemed like asking for my blessing.
In short I told him "its your choice. Your decision" I told him that about tomorrow and everyday after. Im not telling you what to do or what not to do.
That bothered him even more because I was "staying out if it".
But saying that and feeling like that frees me.
I know a wk and 1/2 day (minus the night he drank) is nothing in the whole
But without giving my hopes up I hope he keeps fighting but so far so good.
I know he doesnt want to drink. I can tell but that he needs to keep working the program and move forward.
Anyhow just an update. Im doing great. I have been getting amazing sleep. Leaving him to his own. I think hes had two days of major agitation and quaking one being the day he got a drink (he was quaking before he drank though) and ive had oodles of me time even whilst living with an ra? And hes been leaving me to my own. Ive been leaving him to his. Hes all there upstairs atleast more so than when he drank constantly but of course much more to do.
Thats his business though and thanks for listening. Bless you all
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 342
That is great that you feel good about "staying out of it". It is a very tough journey for you and your AH. One week is a tiny step.
My prayers for you both as you continue along a path to sobriety and recovery.
I gently suggest you both consider reaching out to others, through alanon for you and AA for your AH. Maybe you can start with alanon and when the time is right you can give him a pamphlet or mention AA to him.
From my experience with my RAH it was more than 2 years he went from not drinking for about a week to abstaining from alcohol for almost a year and even more time for him to make steps toward true recovery.
(((HUGS)))
PS - it is true they need to do it on their own and I can totally relate when you say what you felt when you realized he was doing it without your help. In the end, that truly is a blessing.
My prayers for you both as you continue along a path to sobriety and recovery.
I gently suggest you both consider reaching out to others, through alanon for you and AA for your AH. Maybe you can start with alanon and when the time is right you can give him a pamphlet or mention AA to him.
From my experience with my RAH it was more than 2 years he went from not drinking for about a week to abstaining from alcohol for almost a year and even more time for him to make steps toward true recovery.
(((HUGS)))
PS - it is true they need to do it on their own and I can totally relate when you say what you felt when you realized he was doing it without your help. In the end, that truly is a blessing.
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Originally Posted by dancingnow 
That is great that you feel good about "staying out of it". It is a very tough journey for you and your AH. One week is a tiny step.
My prayers for you both as you continue along a path to sobriety and recovery.
I gently suggest you both consider reaching out to others, through alanon for you and AA for your AH. Maybe you can start with alanon and when the time is right you can give him a pamphlet or mention AA to him.
From my experience with my RAH it was more than 2 years he went from not drinking for about a week to abstaining from alcohol for almost a year and even more time for him to make steps toward true recovery.
(((HUGS)))
PS - it is true they need to do it on their own and I can totally relate when you say what you felt when you realized he was doing it without your help. In the end, that truly is a blessing.
My prayers for you both as you continue along a path to sobriety and recovery.
I gently suggest you both consider reaching out to others, through alanon for you and AA for your AH. Maybe you can start with alanon and when the time is right you can give him a pamphlet or mention AA to him.
From my experience with my RAH it was more than 2 years he went from not drinking for about a week to abstaining from alcohol for almost a year and even more time for him to make steps toward true recovery.
(((HUGS)))
PS - it is true they need to do it on their own and I can totally relate when you say what you felt when you realized he was doing it without your help. In the end, that truly is a blessing.
Thanks. Yea I went to an alanon meeting about a wk ago give orvtake. Him to aa but then with the not drinking and detox on his days off he slept alot then when he finally did get up to go out. It was like taking baby steps then it was back to work and he felt great but with this "itch".
I feel silly saying ra or posting because the times so short in the bigger picture but wanted to update plus cross fingers. I know its common for slips but hopefully aa will help him keep on the path. Today is a new day amd so far no alcohol
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Recovery in AA is a lot more than going to a meeting here or there. That won't cure him of his "itch". I hope he goes into it and gives it all he's got because that's what it takes.
Glad you are going to Al-Anon.
Glad you are going to Al-Anon.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
You are doing great lonelygirl.
You detached & told him his sobriety is his own.
I make a point of telling RABF he must own his sobriety.
Baby steps as you say.
Hang in there.
Work your recovery & let him work his.
Hugs.
You detached & told him his sobriety is his own.
I make a point of telling RABF he must own his sobriety.
Baby steps as you say.
Hang in there.
Work your recovery & let him work his.
Hugs.
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