dessy

My hubby drinks 3-4 days a week and does go overboard but does have mental health issues unrelated to alcohol. Is he an AH or when he has dealt with his past issues and PTSD will he go back to being a social drinker. He never drinks before 3pm and never hides it but when he drinks he lives in the past and tells stories over and over.
Married 23yrs I've heard them all before. Yawn. He lives with alot of guilt from friends deaths and grew up in abusive but alcohol free environment.
HE USE TOO use drugs before I met him but gave that up and replaced it with alcohol. I realise alcoholic s are all having issues but is he an alcoholic or just using alcohol. As a crutch to feed his guilt?

MsPINKAcres

((Dessy))

welcome to our SR family

It is difficult to say if another person is an alcoholic or not - for me I learned in recovery - it was something they had to decide on their own ~

But what I did learn is that I could benefit from recovery to help me deal with how I was affected by another person's drinking - even if the drinking didn't bother them ~

Reading & posting on SR, reading recovery literature and attending Al-Anon meetings helped me focus on what helped me ~

keep reaching out for help ~ you deserve the peace!

pink hugs

LexieCat

The AA "definition" of an alcoholic is someone who has an obsession to drink, plus a physical condition that compels them to drink more once they have had any. It's a good working definition for me (as a recovered alcoholic). But as Pink pointed out, you can't see inside somebody else's head, so usually people do have to decide for themselves if it fits them.

She's also right, though, that if his drinking bothers you, you are in the right place. Here, and in Al-Anon (which I also suggest), you will find a lot of us who understand exactly what you are dealing with.

scacra1

Interesting, im curious about this too.
I always have classed my partner as an alcoholic, although in previous counselling (that he didnt keep up with) they were not so sure,and thought that he used alcohol as a form of self harm where he would binge with it when he was feeling stressed rejected etc....

Either way i guess its pretty much one and the same and we are in the right place to seek help and guidance from all the others in here.

Wavy

I too wonder whether my BF is truly an alcoholic (he has mental health and PTSD issues too), but like the other posters I came to the conclusion it didn't really matter whether he had this label or that label what mattered was that his drinking affected me in a negative way, and I reacted to it in a negative way, which all made my life a misery and I needed something to change. I can't do anything to make him change, so that just leaves me. Thats where Al-Anon and SR come in The aim is to be able to be happy and sereen whether your partner is drinking or not.