Quinne

Hey guys,

I think I just need a place to write my thoughts out while i'm waiting for my sponsor to call me back.

I've been volunteering for a community service organisation 1/2 a day per week for the best part of 8 months. The place is a drop-in centre/cafe for many of the city's homeless and i'm generally acting as a waitress or managing behind the food counter.

Today, I was on the floor waitressing. We were very short-staffed (generally are) and had about half the number of volunteers we usually do.

Boundaries were crossed and I had to ask my supervisor repeatedly to speak to some service users as their behaviour was extremely disrespectul; it always seems to be men who act up in a verbally aggressive or sexually inappropriate fashion, at least toward me.

I went outside to take some lunch orders, and one guy was standing behind another woman joking that she was "easy" because he kept reaching under her dress and grabbing her crotch in full view.

I asked him to stop doing that as it was so inappropriate and disrespectful to the woman, myself, everyone else and the organisation. He didn't and ignored me, so I walked away and told my supervisor.

I had the sole responsibility of taking about 80 lunch orders. I was being called on by at least 4 people at any given time, ranting and raving about how they'd ordered x number of minutes ago. I told them we're short-staffed, here as volunteers and are doing our absolute best.

I don't f****** believe you

Anyway, the icing on the cake was one guy who was getting really aggro about the fact that I hadn't been around to take his order. I told him i'd been instructed to attend to the tables numerically, and this was the last one. He went back to reading his paper.

"Excuse me........excuse me? Can I take your order?"

I turned to walk away as I thought he was just trying to make a point and he went off. What literally scared me was the fact that this was just the way my ex treated me. This is the kind of bull**** I went through domestic violence counselling to deal with

I had told my supervisor earlier that I needed to leave at noon, and I did. I also asked him at least three times to have words with this guy, and to his credit, he did.

I pelted down to the women's meeting and was still shaking when I got there. I shared about it and felt a bit better.

I think i'm starting to question if this is now helping or hindering my sobriety, or if it's just a pretty bad day. I think of it as a form of service work.

Really had to hold onto the TWO people who were genuinely grateful for the cost-free meals and coffee.

Perhaps a bit of compassion fatigue is setting in

I'm also super-tired, i've had a headache for a couple of days and my back is giving me a bit of grief for the first time in my life

I started the day on the verge of tears out of sheer gratitude and hit that meeting on the verge of tears out of sheer frustration............

Thanks for reading, SR lovelies

Xx

Dee74

Wherever I have a bad day Quinne - I let things percolate a little.

Only you can decide if this job is ultimately positive or negative...

Maybe you need to speak to your supervisor as well and share your concerns.

but make sure you're not making decisions based on impulse...don't let the actions of a few blind you to the goodness of the many, or the satisfaction you get

D