JungleGirl

Should I attend a meeting? I have been separted from my boyfriend for 5 weeks now, he is a problem drinker, didn't drink every single day but at least 2 times a week he would be moderately drunk, every few months he would get totally out of control. He was a really mean, nasty and out of control drunk though when he did drink too much and the relationship ended because I could not handle being in the line of fire anymore.

I have just finished reading "women who love too much" and have noticed a pattern with my previous relationships, every boyfriend I have ever had has been addicted to weed and increasingly worse drinkers. I have been like the mother in each situation, from finances to making lunches. I do not want to make the same mistake again and am absolutely prepared to work on myself before even thinking about beginning another relationship. I didn't really come from an alcoholic family, my parents divorced when I was 7, my mum barely drinks although my dad does drink a bit, probably every day he will have a light beer or two but rarely gets messy and generally will just have a couple when he gets home from work.

I'm just wondering if al-anon is the kind of help I should seek.

1newcreation

Yes Alanon will help. I tried to join it when 1st came to AA but was advised to get some time in sobriety before joining it. It sounds as if u're btwn rock & hard place here so depending where u are, go for it or u will go insane!

Wavy

I think from what you've said Al-Anon would help you. You've already worked out you have a pattern of behaviour in relationships, which is great in itself, Al-Anon can help you understand that and find a different way. If you aren't sure about going just try out a first session, everyone will be very welcoming and supportive and then you can decide for yourself if it's right for you. It's been a lifeline for me and many others.

LifeRecovery

My codependent behavior was in place prior to my marriage with a problem drinker.

I did not grow up in an alcoholic home, but I think both my parents did.

Al-Anon has been a huge help for me.

m1k3

The basic guidelines as I have heard them are to go to 6 meetings (total) before making decision. Also, at least in my case, I tried around 5 different meetings. Each meeting has it's own flavor, so to speak, and by shopping around I found the one's that fit me best.

Your friend,