soberhope1984

I just wanted to say hello everyone. My name at the moment is not important, but I am an alcoholic. I am trying my best to find the road to sobriety and stick to it.

In the past I have been to one state voc. rehab center, and shortly after leaving did relapse. Wish I could go back, but I feel so ashamed. Well basically I started drinking moderately around the age of 18. Now I am 28.

It started out moderately drinking here and there. Then later moved to a everyday thing, and later on moved to harder forms of alcohol. Anxiety issues makes it hard for me to attend meeting... but I have found peace in joining online communities that have people who have the same desire to a sober and healthy lifestyle.

I just hope I haven't pushed my body to its final points at this moment, one reason why I am trying to take this so seriously. I hate having the feeling... where if I lay back down... I won't be waking up.

OneLessLonely

Hello soberhope. Welcome to SR. I relate to a lot of what you wrote. People here are getting sober through a variety of methods. Read around and see what works for you. But whatever way you choose, go at it with all you've got because alcoholism is progressive and you don't need to go any further down. You can rebuild and build the life you want.

Saskia

Welcome, Soberhope! There are lots of resources here and I think you'll be able to find people and groups that can help.

Sassy

flutter

Welcome!

soberhope1984

Thank you all for the kind welcome. A little more about me I would like to share. June of last year I went to the E.R. due to pains in my left abdomen. They performed one of those CT scans I think of my insides, which the doctor informed me I had a spot on my liver and I should get seen by a doctor when can.

It has taken me all the way up to now to even find a doctor to see who is accepting new patients with only medicare. I am kind of worried, which lead me to drinking for a while again. I was suppose to go this month, but received a call the other day and was informed they had to reschedule to next month.

I decided now I would try and plan a trip to a local place that can see people without appointments, to have my liver checked out. I am sure it is damaged, but I am not sure... 'How much'. This honestly really scares me...

OneLessLonely

Fear can be a healthy thing soberhope. It's uncomfortable and you may want to blot it out with alcohol, because that's what we generally do with uncomfortable feelings. But it's important to experience them. Figure out what the takeaway is from this. Use your fear of having a health issue to propel you in sobriety. Take these uncomfortable feelings as evidence of living, really living. But also try not to worry beyond that. Cross the bridges as they come. I work often on not putting the cart before the horse. If that's the way the saying goes.

soberhope1984

I really would like to think that way and will try. It is just hard when the times come and I have that little nagging stinging pain in my right side.

soberhope1984

Arghh, just took my blood pressure and it is 139/101... man I hate when it gets like that. I think I am going to go take a 30 minute walk and see if I can lower it some. Any suggestions anyone?

I know I haven't ate yet this morning, and I do smoke cigs (hoping to quit that soon also).

least

OneLessLonely

I've tried guided meditations online and music to relax. As far as your blood pressure, no one is really supposed to give medical advice here. So it's a good idea to include a doctor.

GratefulDrunk

Thanks for Sharing SH. It's nice to know that others are trudging as well.

Dee74

Hi soberhope

I know seeing the doc is scary but I really think it's better than sitting at home, jumping at shadows, and worrying about every ache and pain - been there done that.

A lot of us found our worst fears healthwise were not realised.
I hope you'll be amongst that group too

D

soberhope1984

Thanks all, and yes I understand one should not really give medical advice. Hopefully see a doc soon, but not really afraid of the doc... more afraid of the results.

Hevyn

Welcome soberhope. I think it will help you a lot to be here. I found the support and encouragement amazing. It sounds like you're ready to make this big change. You won't have to worry about what alcohol is doing to your body - you'll be free of it. We know you can do it.

snoopy87

Welcome Soberhope!! You can do this!

robgt350

soberhope

maybe you should see the doctor with your bloodpressure. but i drank for a while too, this is a great place to get help and support. hang out, start networking here. i meet a few i am in contact almost every day.

Rosiepetal

Welcome to SR.
There is a lot of support here for you.