Oz11

Up , down,feeling fairly good then slam the floor falls out from under me. My spouse who has been here when I took all these Dr prescriptions and he would say, I hate u taking all these pill. And when I get this brilliant idea of cold turkey he is excite. But each day I hear him say " they should be out of your system by now. " Or you" can't still be having withdraws." He has not listened to me about this. I have blogged more to a computer box with the hopes of someone posting me back for support. I can't help it or do I know why 7 days later and is still hard, it hurts so bad,or why my body is acting so badly. It hurts so bad to know he has no patience for my pain. He is so good but his is ex military and his way is baby suck it up,enough already. I know that a Na/ aa group would be helpful but I could never go, that would be his last straw with this. When I had my brother here after he went to drug treatment, I made him go, he was mortified to drop him off. He just thinks u can really do better then this, what ever that means. I ordered 2 books on line total 22.00 bucks, that's with tax, you would have thought I had went to the store and purchased a diamond ring or something. I have been feeling so desperate So I went to the library to pick up some books to help in this process until my books come. I am not a head Dr. I don't know why I formed this addiction, or how to deal with the emotional part. And when I did go to Dr. To deal with my abandonment issues from my family he resisted it. Hated it as if I was dirty to go to such a place. I know maybe this abandonment may have something to do with all of this. But I will have to work this out without help. So sad we can live together 35 yrs and he can't afford me more help then this. He loves me I know this but he is not going to be on my bandwagon for any support, to him it could have been hard day 1 or 2 but now what is you problem it's day 7. I don' t know what my problem isssss.

karilynn27

My husband knew I had a problem yet when I did seek help he was very resistant. He would hide my car keys so I couldn't get to meetings. This was very strange behavior on his part. As time went by and he began to see the changes in my life his attitude changed.
Hang in there. I lived on SR the first couple of months. He is very supportive of me now and very proud. He does not understand addiction just as I don't understand how someone could have just one drink.

NewDay79

Ditto!

Oz11

It hurts to be here and he can't at least work with me through this physical part.

ReadyAtLast

My husband doesn't.t really understand either. People who don.t have an addiction don't understand. It.s not their fault. Your recovery is yours and its nice to have support but we can still do it. There is a difference between not being particularly supportive and actively trying to stop you recovering. Stopping you buying books and not allowing you to attend meetings is verging on control IMO. You are an adult please go to a meeting if you feel it would help, ou don't need his permission.

fallingtogether

Hi! In my opinion, our spouses, whether caught in their own addictions or no addictions at all tend to feel as uncomfortable with our changes as we do. It's a control issue. They don't know how to live with someone who is acting completely opposite either. We have walked around defeated in our addictions and although they don't like it, they usually think they know the next move, they are as comfortable with hangovers as we are. Remove the substance if choice and both worlds are shaken, easy does it. Just relax and think about who you are doing this for? Suggest your spouse read on the Internet, if they aren't comfortable talking about the changes happening, or the expectations. This is about us, not them! Support is nice to have at home, but It won't keep you sober.

Oz11

Yap,I know what you mean,but I have to keep telling myself this is not about or for him. It's about and for me. He can be all he can be, and when your down that hurts. But it is what it is, and this journey is about my recovery. And I am going to keep on keeping on!

WILLOW01

My husband facilitated my addiction, just to keep me HAPPY ! I'm not the kind of girl that people say no to. I made his life hell if he dared to say or question me, showing how deep my addiction is. We moved countries a few years ago and to my delight I could but Codeine and Paracetamol pills at 30 mgs of Codeine over the counter.

I have a good and responsible job ( What a joke IRRESPONSIBLE!!! more like it ) within this community and being a total addict and hypocrite can go hand in hand. I sent husband to the local Pharmacy for the pills. They never questioned him once about the amount nor the strength. And no one but him knows my weakness !!!



Some times tough love is miss interpretive by us the addicts, or used for our own need when our pills are running out. I wasn't/am not juts an addict but a devious manipulative witch.
I wish he had been "harder on me" Keep going XXXX

kelle96

I'm afraid to tell my husband that I need help because if I fail I don't want him to think less of me

WILLOW01

Any addiction can be a relapsing condition, but failure is not terminal, if you tackle it on a Monday and fail your OWN expectations on a Tuesday, then start again on a Wednesday. In some relationships it one of those "unspoken" things both parties can be afraid to talk about it for fear of upsetting each other. Everybody will have their own way of dealing with their own "stuff". You can only do what's right for you. I thought it best to inform my husband as I am experiencing a little physical discomfort and emotionally I am all over the place. He needed to know the reason why. Good luck XX