New and need to vent
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 1
New and need to vent
Hi all,
I'm brand new to this site. I just wanted to say a little about the situation I'm in and maybe see if anyone else has been there or is there or any advice or suggestions.
My husband of 1 year (we've been together fo 4 years altogether) and the father of my 15 month old beautiful baby girl, had a bad accident at work over 5 years ago--he was put on Vicodin and has steadily increased his dose to 70 since I met him in 2009. Now, they are talking about putting a pain pump in and are starting to wean him off of the Vicodin--within the past two months, they've gotten him down to 50. Well, it's been hell for all of us. I know his body is craving the Vics, but he is SOOOO mean to me and the girls (I also have an 8 year old daughter from my first marriage--long story there, lol!) He is not physically abusive, but the verbal and mental abuse are something else to deal with.
He is also taking Klonopin 1 mg, three times a day, but he takes the 3 mg. at night, all at once. I have to hold them because he will overdo it on them and then by the end of the month, he is short and his verbal abuse and his withdrawal are terrible.
Anyone else gone through anything similar? I do know that his body has become dependent on these medications. I've never dealt with this type of addiction before in my life. My parents were clean and I never dated someone who was addicted to anything, that I knew of anyway. I'm very numb at this point and don't know how to deal with it. I worry about my girls. He is on disability and I work m-f during the day. He's home alone with the baby and he gets the older girl on and off the bus. I won't go into the things he says to me because I don't want to go into that right now. Guess I'm just looking to see if there is anyone similar out there.
Thank you!
I'm brand new to this site. I just wanted to say a little about the situation I'm in and maybe see if anyone else has been there or is there or any advice or suggestions.
My husband of 1 year (we've been together fo 4 years altogether) and the father of my 15 month old beautiful baby girl, had a bad accident at work over 5 years ago--he was put on Vicodin and has steadily increased his dose to 70 since I met him in 2009. Now, they are talking about putting a pain pump in and are starting to wean him off of the Vicodin--within the past two months, they've gotten him down to 50. Well, it's been hell for all of us. I know his body is craving the Vics, but he is SOOOO mean to me and the girls (I also have an 8 year old daughter from my first marriage--long story there, lol!) He is not physically abusive, but the verbal and mental abuse are something else to deal with.
He is also taking Klonopin 1 mg, three times a day, but he takes the 3 mg. at night, all at once. I have to hold them because he will overdo it on them and then by the end of the month, he is short and his verbal abuse and his withdrawal are terrible.
Anyone else gone through anything similar? I do know that his body has become dependent on these medications. I've never dealt with this type of addiction before in my life. My parents were clean and I never dated someone who was addicted to anything, that I knew of anyway. I'm very numb at this point and don't know how to deal with it. I worry about my girls. He is on disability and I work m-f during the day. He's home alone with the baby and he gets the older girl on and off the bus. I won't go into the things he says to me because I don't want to go into that right now. Guess I'm just looking to see if there is anyone similar out there.
Thank you!
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Hey Stargazer,
I have a few emotionally/verbally abusive relationships under my belt, two of which involved substance abuse on the boyfriend's part (sigh, clearly I have some dating issues when I can say a sentence like this!!). It's difficult. It's hard enough to get out of an abusive relationship when there are no drugs/alcohol involved... I stayed with a maniac for two years because I felt like his behavior "wasn't him", and he wasn't a substance abuser. When you add in booze or drugs, it gets even more confusing, because in so many ways the person really isn't themselves when it's happening.
In the end though, it's the behavior that matters, not the reasons behind it. Have you discussed the problem with him? Has he shown any awareness/remorse about his behavior? Is there any kind of plan in place for how things will get better?
There's also a forum just for friends & family that you might want to check out:
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I have a few emotionally/verbally abusive relationships under my belt, two of which involved substance abuse on the boyfriend's part (sigh, clearly I have some dating issues when I can say a sentence like this!!). It's difficult. It's hard enough to get out of an abusive relationship when there are no drugs/alcohol involved... I stayed with a maniac for two years because I felt like his behavior "wasn't him", and he wasn't a substance abuser. When you add in booze or drugs, it gets even more confusing, because in so many ways the person really isn't themselves when it's happening.
In the end though, it's the behavior that matters, not the reasons behind it. Have you discussed the problem with him? Has he shown any awareness/remorse about his behavior? Is there any kind of plan in place for how things will get better?
There's also a forum just for friends & family that you might want to check out:
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome!
I'm glad you're seeking support for yourself and your children. Verbal abuse is not acceptable and I'm glad you are concerned. Have you considered AlAnon? It could be helpful for you.
I'm glad you're seeking support for yourself and your children. Verbal abuse is not acceptable and I'm glad you are concerned. Have you considered AlAnon? It could be helpful for you.
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