Splash29

I had 80 days sober, but I started drinking again. I recently moved and I do not have a car to make it to meetings. I don't even have a job right now and living with my parents. My whole family drinks daily and my only friend in town is my cousin who drinks heavily. I wanted to fit in with her friends so I've been trying to drink two drinks socially.

Well it only took a week of me doing that (I think the term I saw is white-knuckle sober) for me to be drinking full bottles of wine alone in my room. My social drinking quickly reverted me back to my alcoholic ways of drinking alone and having "pity parties" for myself.

So now I'm back to day one. Any advice on feeling alone and feeling as though I'm never going to make new friends or meet a guy or have a social life at all?? I just feel like I'm never going to meet people I can connect with in my new location. I miss all my friends back home. I'm going to start borrowing my mom's car to go to meetings since I obviously need them.

Alva

Embrace day 1, borrow the car and get to those meetings. I've got a ton of Day 1's too so don't beat yourself up, figure out what went wrong and avoid it in the future. Go for a walk, read a book and do something different

Jimuk

I have countless day 1's too, but we are still here so nothing really lost. I'm thinking of doing some voluntary work to meet people rather than spending time with my drinking friends. Have a search online in your area, some were offering training etc. I've decided to help a local sailing charity for the disabled. Good luck Lilly.

law1234

Today is my day one all over again as well. Went out for dinner last night after a day of beer drinking and had wine. I should not have driven home because I was in no condition. Yet another blackout. But it does not mean that I am not gonna try even harder this time and so should you.

Hevyn

Hi lilly. Every time I tried to control what I drank, it always led me back to the same place. I understand how you feel - but you did learn something valuable. This time you'll be even more determined to stick with your plan. Congratulations for realizing what must be done - you're going to do this.

1stepup

Hi Lilly, can relate to your situation. I was 6 weeks sober when i got a new job last year after redundancy from previous one, i would go out after work with new workmates ,who knew nothing about my problem and have a couple to fit in, somehow i managed it for a week or two but then like you i reverted from social to alcoholic drinking again alone in other bars then in my room, had to work through hangovers and then straight to the pub.

I hated the job compared to the old one and convinced myself that was why i was drinking so much. Eventually after a weekend bender that went into the monday morning i just didnt show, bought a bottle of vodka and jumped on a train to a city 50 miles away, did this everyday for a week. For 2 months i drank everyday spending my redundancy money in the process.

Anyway like you im living with a relative now and the only social life i had revolved around drinking. So i am lonely and afraid that no-one will want me the way i am. Saturday evening now, im 1 week sober trying to stay sober. I CANNOT DO MODERATION wish i could but i cant. Thanks for your post and good luck

warrens

Rhetorical question ( one I ask myself every day)... What do you know now that you didn't know before? I used to think recovery was about not drinking. Thanks to the program, I know that sobriety (for me) is byproduct of spiritual health.

Best to you,

Warren

Sobersunshine

You can do this, one day at a time. Such a cliche but so very true. Hope you can get to meetings. And you have this forum to post on all you want!

bigaquagirl

I know how you feel.. my father is a wine maker and he doesn't understand how can his daughter be an alcoholic.

PreciousKitty

Day one! Just stop now and you will be ok. Lil I'm sure there is something you need to learn for your relapse.

losteverything

Congratulations on starting down a newer better path. Dont worry too much about how things feel at the start, the beginning is always hard. Also, dont think that you will never meet a guy.. think about the things you would like to do in your life, be it rock climbing, swimming, going to libraries, art galleries, whatever and then go do them. That way you are more likely to enjoy your time, and the odds are great that you will meet the kind of person you want in your life, someone who shares your interests. Good luck, Sobriety only seems scary, but it really does get better.

Splash29

I think -- at least I hope -- I know now that one or two drinks just doesn't exist for me. But I feel like I've learned that before and it still hasn't stuck with me.