Spiraling out of control
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
Spiraling out of control
It's been a week since I was spiraling out of control. When my coffee pot stopped working and I substituted with wine. It's been a week since I was so selfish that I put my own WANTS ahead of my own NEEDS. A week since I humiliated myself. It feels good to know I'm not there anymore. This time I am able to pull myself out of the hole. Next time I may not.
I never quite thought I had THAT problem, that this could kill me. Until last time. And thankfully I am here. I don't know if I would be here next time. I can't risk it. Thankfully I pulled my head right back outta my ass and got back in track. This disease is life or death.
For those of you who don't believe that, we are burying a 25 yr old from my home group on Tuesday. And another member is actively drinking vodka like water. It's making me sick to my stomach to think we could be going to his funeral next.
Here's the thing, we all have the same problem at the end of the day, but we focus too hard on looking at the differences. Don't!!!! Look at the similarities. We drink or use to escape, numb or forget. And we can't stop! Normal people can! We lie sneak manipulate and cheat, so we feel better, when in fact we are driving ourselves further away from happiness. BUT: we have an advantage. If we are here, we have admitted out problem. Now we seek help and figure out a solution.
We can have a happy lives, WE have to do the work! I am doing the work. Thank you sr for being here all the time! You are a life saver!
I never quite thought I had THAT problem, that this could kill me. Until last time. And thankfully I am here. I don't know if I would be here next time. I can't risk it. Thankfully I pulled my head right back outta my ass and got back in track. This disease is life or death.
For those of you who don't believe that, we are burying a 25 yr old from my home group on Tuesday. And another member is actively drinking vodka like water. It's making me sick to my stomach to think we could be going to his funeral next.
Here's the thing, we all have the same problem at the end of the day, but we focus too hard on looking at the differences. Don't!!!! Look at the similarities. We drink or use to escape, numb or forget. And we can't stop! Normal people can! We lie sneak manipulate and cheat, so we feel better, when in fact we are driving ourselves further away from happiness. BUT: we have an advantage. If we are here, we have admitted out problem. Now we seek help and figure out a solution.
We can have a happy lives, WE have to do the work! I am doing the work. Thank you sr for being here all the time! You are a life saver!
So true. I think most of us keep thinking 'I'm not as bad as them' until we are x
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