I am such a control freak

Old 04-29-2004, 12:10 PM
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Smile I am such a control freak

After many years in the program I still find my self trying to fix everyones issues, to my dismay. No one even ask me to help! I do this to my H alot. I feel very fortunate that we both have recovery, yet I still fool myself into thinking I need to give him ideas to better HIS life, boy, am I in need of this program!! I seek some advice about intigrating this program in my Christian Life, I am sruggeling a little!!! I so quickly forget just who is in control, God. I struggle with the fact that my H still does not believe God is in Control. Any words of encouragement I will treasure. Cathy
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Old 04-29-2004, 12:21 PM
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Re: I am such a control freak

Hi Cathy,

Boy do I ever relate to what you are saying. Just last night, I was telling dh what meeting he could go to this week since we are so busy with the kids, etc. I looked up and he had this stupid grin on his face. It was then I realized I was doing it again, and I said, I guess you can figure out what meetings to go to all by yourself!!

Good thing I don't have a sobriety date as an anon - mine would probably be 30 minutes or so!!

As far as the struggle I had with dh accepting a Higher Power, the best advice I got was to shut up and pray. Some pretty amazing things happen when I stop talking.

Take care

Cat
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Old 04-29-2004, 12:22 PM
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Re: I am such a control freak

Hey Cathy,
Welcome. We don't get perfect and we don't graduate. My H is in recovery and we disagree about what is "right" all the time. The great thing about the program is the more I focus on me and my recovery, the better my life gets. When I am serene it doesn't matter what he or anyone else thinks about what I am doing. I can really believe that God is in charge. Wish I was in that zone more often, but I can't complain. I'm in it a lot more than I ever was before. Hope you stick around and join our little community. Feel free to browse here and on the other forums. There are some great posts at the top of each forum called powerposts. Glad you found us. Hugs, Magic
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Old 04-29-2004, 12:23 PM
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Re: I am such a control freak

Originally Posted by catlady
Good thing I don't have a sobriety date as an anon - mine would probably be 30 minutes or so!!
:LMAO Boy, can I relate to that!
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Old 04-29-2004, 12:36 PM
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Smile Re: I am such a control freak

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. I had forgotten how good it feels to have people relate. My H and I have been thruogh :kisshug: so much lately, as I had to go to prison for 8 months, 5 years clean and it was time to clean up wreckage of the past. Bless his heart, He has been there, and He has no idea He has a God, yet He functions. I am a Anon because He (MY H) Is closer to normal as I've ever seen, however my family are A's. So, I know I am in the right Place and while I am in transition i think I will lean on you all, Praise god fot the opportunity to communicate. Thanks
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Old 04-29-2004, 12:39 PM
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Re: I am such a control freak

That is the hardest part for us control freaks (sometimes I think I could earn title as the Queen!), is realizing we have NO CONTROL over them and if they use or if they drink or whatever. I don't know how I had myself fooled before that I actually DID have control over him - because obviously I didn't.

I feel your pain sweetie! Boy, do I ever!!!
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Old 04-29-2004, 12:39 PM
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Re: I am such a control freak

Check out the Adult Children of Alcoholics forum too. We cross platform a lot here and I think we learn a lot that we wouldn't elsewhere.
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Old 05-01-2004, 08:29 PM
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Re: I am such a control freak

hello... I am the queen of "fix everyone's problems". That is my job as lawyer, my job as a mom and I take that job as a wife and friend. I need to let all these people live their own lives, and I am trying, but I find the best way for me to do it is to tell a friend or two to CONSTANTLY remind me to let the other person run his or her own life and to let go and let happens happen as other peoples consequences are a result of their behavior, not my inability to fix their situation.
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