jewel14

I understand that when a person is using that tough love is very important.... My question is this???? When a person is truly trying to change, making the steps to a "clean" life, shouldn't it be then that you show them some incourgagement and support? Or do I have it wrong?

AndreaB

In my opinion, you are absolutely right. As a drug counselor who I respect told me, you don't enable their addiction, but you absolutely enable their recovery.

The trick is, however, figuring out which is which.

Good luck to you both.

AnvilheadII

tough love is for the non-addict too! helps us establish and maintain boundaries and clearly define what is MINE and what is YOURS. we often have a tendancy to think that we are somehow OBLIGED to do SOMETHING towards THEIR recovery, when in fact nothing IS required of us! we aren't the awards committee, or the coaching staff.

all that being said, if you can maintain your balance and your focus, do what you feel is best.

Maylie

Showing encouragement is not a bad thing, expecially when a loved one is really putting everything they have into their recovery.

However, there is a difference between encouraging and enabling. Just because you are encouraging them doesn't mean that we need to down play their slip ups, start showering them with rewards, helping to fix the mess they made of their life before, start giving money because the person is now "responsible", or letting our boundaries fall to the way side.