a teeny tiny victory
a teeny tiny victory
condensed version:
My H works 24 hr shifts, so he gets off work at 7:00 in the morning. Yesterday was that day. No word from him....... the entire day. Don't know if he ever got off work, went to his meeting, counseling appt., to pick up daughter from track.....nothing.
BUT, know when I don't ever get a call or anything that it's a "drinking day". I can read the signs, as you all know..
anyway I got my daughter, did the usual day when he's not around. Had dinner, got ready for my meeting, had to say "no" to my daugher going to a friends because now I need her to babysit.... still no word from H. I leave for meeting. When out I call home, find out he's there....blasted. I start the usual panic, hoping it wont be a scene, "practicing" anything I may have learned so far in the program.... heart pounding, scared, angry, disappointed. Get home, he's asleep in bed, yay! I get kids ready for bed, talk with our oldest, as she "gets" it and needs de-briefing and to vent about him....
Sleep on the couch with my quick set, often-used, bedding. He knows I don't sleep in stinking rooms with drunk people! Now, here is the victory part (I'm sure you were wondering....): I'm up getting kids ready and myself ready for work when I hear life from the bedroom. I see him peek out to see where I am and get ready for the "I'm angry and disappointed" talk. I smile sweetly and say "good morning". He bursts into tears!! NO LIE! and goes back into the room. Comes out and says he's leaving for starbucks and goes out the door. Calls in on his cell a few minutes later and just says "I'm sorry". I tell him I know that. He just called again to ask why I don't hate him this morning... I told thim that he then would have an excuse for yesterday and possibly today..... he laughed. Said I was probably right. We said our "I love yous" and rang off. You know what the victory is, I'm NOT angry, disappointed, etc.
I'm FREE! It's NOT my problem, I can have a great day.... regardless! Thanks to you all and your support and friendship and amazing wisdom! Love to you all. Life is wonderful....... today (one day at a time)!
My H works 24 hr shifts, so he gets off work at 7:00 in the morning. Yesterday was that day. No word from him....... the entire day. Don't know if he ever got off work, went to his meeting, counseling appt., to pick up daughter from track.....nothing.
BUT, know when I don't ever get a call or anything that it's a "drinking day". I can read the signs, as you all know..
anyway I got my daughter, did the usual day when he's not around. Had dinner, got ready for my meeting, had to say "no" to my daugher going to a friends because now I need her to babysit.... still no word from H. I leave for meeting. When out I call home, find out he's there....blasted. I start the usual panic, hoping it wont be a scene, "practicing" anything I may have learned so far in the program.... heart pounding, scared, angry, disappointed. Get home, he's asleep in bed, yay! I get kids ready for bed, talk with our oldest, as she "gets" it and needs de-briefing and to vent about him....
Sleep on the couch with my quick set, often-used, bedding. He knows I don't sleep in stinking rooms with drunk people! Now, here is the victory part (I'm sure you were wondering....): I'm up getting kids ready and myself ready for work when I hear life from the bedroom. I see him peek out to see where I am and get ready for the "I'm angry and disappointed" talk. I smile sweetly and say "good morning". He bursts into tears!! NO LIE! and goes back into the room. Comes out and says he's leaving for starbucks and goes out the door. Calls in on his cell a few minutes later and just says "I'm sorry". I tell him I know that. He just called again to ask why I don't hate him this morning... I told thim that he then would have an excuse for yesterday and possibly today..... he laughed. Said I was probably right. We said our "I love yous" and rang off. You know what the victory is, I'm NOT angry, disappointed, etc.
I'm FREE! It's NOT my problem, I can have a great day.... regardless! Thanks to you all and your support and friendship and amazing wisdom! Love to you all. Life is wonderful....... today (one day at a time)!
Re: a teeny tiny victory
I have fond memories of those first few times I didn't react. The look on his face alone was a hoot. Add to that his absolute confusion...it was a wonderful time in my life! :LMAO
Isn't it funny to realize how they can predict OUR behavior the same as we can almost always predict theirs?
((Hugs))
JT
Isn't it funny to realize how they can predict OUR behavior the same as we can almost always predict theirs?
((Hugs))
JT
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: cicero ny
Posts: 65
Re: a teeny tiny victory
Bravo McHappy! Doesn't it feel good?!! We are all learning here and life as we used to know it no longer exists. Life is now good since we are living for US!!Take care and keep up the good work. :okay:
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: close to the FLAMES!!
Posts: 129
Re: a teeny tiny victory
I too have chills- this IS so great!! Way to go! I too can tell how much I'm working on ME/my program when I have these moments and yeah- the look on his face is so comical when I don't react like he has predicted me to. Anyways, super job!!
-sfg29
-sfg29
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: northern California
Posts: 15
Re: a teeny tiny victory
I did that too, the not reacting, and finally getting it. It was great to feel so good about the fact that I got it, and it did not have to be such drama, and that I do love him, so I do not have to be all angry and ruin everyone's day. That was yesterday. Today, according to him that I am angry, I am controlling, I am cheating, after about 1/2 an hour of him on the phone telling me how horrible I am (i thought he might have been speaking of someone else, because I did not do any of this stuff yesterday) I lost it and went back to the anger stage. Anway great job, hopefully you will have lots more teeny tiny victories
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