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She didn't believe me

Old 02-28-2013, 03:18 PM
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She didn't believe me

I told my oldest friend this evening that I have a drink problem and she totally dismissed it. She told me she thinks my boyfriend is controlling my drinking when in reality he is trying to help me. It's made me feel so alone as I don't know who I can turn to now.
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Old 02-28-2013, 03:23 PM
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Turn to us, we will listen & support you. You are not alone.
Some people don't understand & that is their choice.
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Old 02-28-2013, 04:29 PM
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We do understand and you can always find support here.
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Old 02-28-2013, 04:33 PM
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Besties aren't always the best judge of things alcoholic lizella - my bestie was also my best drinking companion, and sometimes best friends can be in denial about us too.

D
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Old 02-28-2013, 04:42 PM
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And best friends can be in denial about themselves as well. ( my experience).
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Old 02-28-2013, 04:48 PM
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Been there, done that, they didn't want to believe me either. You know if you have a problem. They don't have to believe it. It is a hard thing for our loved ones to understand and accept.

Your not alone, there are lots of us here who understand where you are and there are lots of options for support.
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Old 02-28-2013, 05:08 PM
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I have had plenty of "best friends" that didn't believe me. Makes me wonder how someone who cared about me could shrug me off when I went up to them and said "I'm a heroin addict I shoot up six times a day". Half the people I told thought I was joking because of what the media portays heroin addicts to be.

Don't let people not taking you seriously make you doubt that you have a problem. I have gone down that road with the thinking of "if noone thinks I have a problem then I must just be being dramatic".

Keep working on your recovery and we're all here for you if you ever need to talk to someone that understands.
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Old 02-28-2013, 05:19 PM
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Hey Lizella, you know the problem with my friends thinking that I didn't really have a problem was mostly because then they'd have to look at their own really bad drinking habits. Once I got sober and quit being sick from drinking and listened to them complain about the hangovers, I realized how much better off I was. I have had one friend die from liver failure from his alcoholism and I see one of my friends drinking every day, even though he doesn't get "drunk", can you imagine how by late afternoon he probably has to drink again, at least that's what I think.

Take the alcohol out of your life, period, and you're much healthier, it is such poison.

Welcome to SR, tons of great support here.
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Old 02-28-2013, 05:44 PM
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I have to agree that your friend doesn't want to lose her drinking partner. It's also hard to find support about drinking problems from people who don't truly understand what this means like you (or us) do. Really great that you are reaching out to get support on this!
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Old 03-01-2013, 02:13 PM
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Lizella,
makes sense to me that it would take some time for anyone to believe this, get used to it. there would likely need to be some process (don't you love that word???).
there was for you and me, after all.
took me over three decades to really get it; how could i expect someone else who thinks he/she KNOWS me to believe this at the drop of a hat?
it's like saying:" you're my best friend, so you are justified in thinking you know me, that i've told you the biggies in my life, about myself. well guess what? i've had this huge huge secret, and i'm not who you think i am! waddayamean you don't believe me???huh?"
give her some time. you're likely not the only one feeling lonely right now. it might well look to her like she never knew you and has now lost a best friend...

if you really care about each other, you'll be able to talk more. in a bit of time.
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Old 03-01-2013, 04:25 PM
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If there is one thing that seems to be universal with recovering alcoholics it's this one Lizella. Unless someone has a similar problem it is unlikely they'll understand. Also consider that really it is our best friend's job to reassure us, the 'of course you don't look fat' school of friendship. I found it absolutely vital to stay in contact with other people in recovery just so that my sense of commitment wasn't undermined by other people reassuring me x
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