Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10
Hello
Hello all,
I am new to the site and just wanted to say hello. My name is Jay, 28 years old. I got a college degree in Engineering and I am very successful at my job. I was always in top notch shape. I would lift weights and run on a daily basis.
I bought my first house at 23 years old, got married at 25, had our first child at 26, second child this past year at 28 years old. My wife is a stay at home mom and does a wonderful job. I work pretty crazy hours around the clock. It is often stressful and demanding.
When I get home from work, things just get more stressful. My wife has a really hard time running a household and taking care of the kids, so what it turns into is me running the house (cooking, cleaning, laundry, lawn mowing etc) while she takes care of the kids. I have talked to my wife about helping out a bit more, but she gets very defensive and thinks that I am a jerk for not understanding how hard the house work is.
I am sorry for all of the background, but maybe it will give you a better idea here:
I have drank quiet heavily since high school (10 -12 years) but I would not say it was an issue. I would drink on the weekends for the most part, and had no problem having one beer/drink or none for weeks at a time.
Since I have been married the past three years, things seemed to have changed. I started drinking a little less beer, maybe more vodka/gin/wiskey. My wife did not like me having a drink (really at all) because she has never drank more than 1 glass of wine in a sitting. The drinking caused arguements in the past becuase she couldnt understand how I could have two or three vodka drinks when we would go out.
The past year or so, I have started hiding the drinking from my wife. I would put vodka mixed with sparkling water into a can and tell her it was just sparkling water. I have gotten VERY good at hiding it. At points this year I have been averaging a handle of vodka a week (give or take). When I get home from work I still do everything I always have, help my wife, play with the kids, put the kids to bed, wake up with them in the middle of the night, but I have been doing it with my "water can".
I had a routine doctors physical and blood work last month. I gained 25 pounds since my physical last year, and my blood work was off the charts bad. I also recently started getting a pain in the area of my liver. I looked up online what that could be and this website came up. I have been reading here non stop for the past week.
I decided to stop drinking for a while because I really do not know if I have a problem or not. I love my family and at 28 years old, having such bad blood work and overall health, was a shock to me.
I have not had a drink now in four days. I had some trouble with sleep the past couple of nights, and sweat a little more than normal, but I feel a lot better for it.
Nobody knows about my drinking this past year. My wife, friends, co-workers, family. I have found this site not only informative, but very comforting. I would really like to see if I can break this habit and be a moderate and responsible when it comes to drinking, but I also want to live to see my kids grow and am ready to give it up.
I am so sorry this is so long and probably boring but I feel a lot better being able to communicate with someone about this.
Thank you all!
I am new to the site and just wanted to say hello. My name is Jay, 28 years old. I got a college degree in Engineering and I am very successful at my job. I was always in top notch shape. I would lift weights and run on a daily basis.
I bought my first house at 23 years old, got married at 25, had our first child at 26, second child this past year at 28 years old. My wife is a stay at home mom and does a wonderful job. I work pretty crazy hours around the clock. It is often stressful and demanding.
When I get home from work, things just get more stressful. My wife has a really hard time running a household and taking care of the kids, so what it turns into is me running the house (cooking, cleaning, laundry, lawn mowing etc) while she takes care of the kids. I have talked to my wife about helping out a bit more, but she gets very defensive and thinks that I am a jerk for not understanding how hard the house work is.
I am sorry for all of the background, but maybe it will give you a better idea here:
I have drank quiet heavily since high school (10 -12 years) but I would not say it was an issue. I would drink on the weekends for the most part, and had no problem having one beer/drink or none for weeks at a time.
Since I have been married the past three years, things seemed to have changed. I started drinking a little less beer, maybe more vodka/gin/wiskey. My wife did not like me having a drink (really at all) because she has never drank more than 1 glass of wine in a sitting. The drinking caused arguements in the past becuase she couldnt understand how I could have two or three vodka drinks when we would go out.
The past year or so, I have started hiding the drinking from my wife. I would put vodka mixed with sparkling water into a can and tell her it was just sparkling water. I have gotten VERY good at hiding it. At points this year I have been averaging a handle of vodka a week (give or take). When I get home from work I still do everything I always have, help my wife, play with the kids, put the kids to bed, wake up with them in the middle of the night, but I have been doing it with my "water can".
I had a routine doctors physical and blood work last month. I gained 25 pounds since my physical last year, and my blood work was off the charts bad. I also recently started getting a pain in the area of my liver. I looked up online what that could be and this website came up. I have been reading here non stop for the past week.
I decided to stop drinking for a while because I really do not know if I have a problem or not. I love my family and at 28 years old, having such bad blood work and overall health, was a shock to me.
I have not had a drink now in four days. I had some trouble with sleep the past couple of nights, and sweat a little more than normal, but I feel a lot better for it.
Nobody knows about my drinking this past year. My wife, friends, co-workers, family. I have found this site not only informative, but very comforting. I would really like to see if I can break this habit and be a moderate and responsible when it comes to drinking, but I also want to live to see my kids grow and am ready to give it up.
I am so sorry this is so long and probably boring but I feel a lot better being able to communicate with someone about this.
Thank you all!
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: GA, USA
Posts: 130
Congratulations on day four! The sweats and insomnia are pretty typical when you are in the beginning of recovery.
I'm sorry to hear about your blood work, but most likelyby refraining from alcohol, those numbers will improve.
Take care!
I'm sorry to hear about your blood work, but most likelyby refraining from alcohol, those numbers will improve.
Take care!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 88
I too started hiding my vodka when my husband starting complaining about my drinking. I would put it in a water bottle to drink, and hide the big bottle somewhere in the house. Or whiskey. My drinking progressed to more serious withdrawals, both physically, and emotionally. I began to isolate just to drink and it did effect my job and it became ALOT harder to quit drinking. I struggle everyday. If you can stop now please do so before it progresses. Hiding alcohol is not a good sign. Good luck to you!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR MA50 
It seems like you have been using alcohol as a means of coping with stress, which never leads to a healthy relationship. So many people do it to some extent but some of us take it to another level. I'm sure given that your drinking has been secret that the support SR can offer will be invaluable to you x
It seems like you have been using alcohol as a means of coping with stress, which never leads to a healthy relationship. So many people do it to some extent but some of us take it to another level. I'm sure given that your drinking has been secret that the support SR can offer will be invaluable to you x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Janesville wi
Posts: 11
The fact you have come to this site and posted what you have means you need some help with this...Someone once told me that when you have a drinking problem it only gets worse unless you stop, I never forgot that, 20 years later I now know that to be a fact for me...so I am stopping. You will be so much more happy and a part of your family if you can give it up....otherwise I worry for you that your life will take a turn for the worse and you won't get your wife or family life back, you are so young and successful, please don't let your drinking ruin what you can have in life....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Toronto
Posts: 318
Your blood work will improve when you quit drinking.
My liver function results were crap, meaning my blood was a toxic mess from being a raging Alc. I am 30.
My Dr told me to take Liv52, Milk Thistle (herbal Vit), Exercise and eat healthy and of course do not drink.
3-4 months later all my blood results were all in normal range. Amazing.
Easy peasy right? Wrong, back to sq1 as of about 2 weeks ago. Relapse and starting all over again.
But give the Liv52 and Milk thistle a shot. Both help liver and inturn help all blood work. Prospects of living longer are always good.
My liver function results were crap, meaning my blood was a toxic mess from being a raging Alc. I am 30.
My Dr told me to take Liv52, Milk Thistle (herbal Vit), Exercise and eat healthy and of course do not drink.
3-4 months later all my blood results were all in normal range. Amazing.
Easy peasy right? Wrong, back to sq1 as of about 2 weeks ago. Relapse and starting all over again.
But give the Liv52 and Milk thistle a shot. Both help liver and inturn help all blood work. Prospects of living longer are always good.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10
Thank you all so very much for the kind words and encouragement. I can not tell you how glad I am to have found this site. It has really opened my eyes to how a habit can turn into an addiction before you realize it.
I have seen the phrase "I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired" a lot being said around here......That phrase has been running through my head quiet a bit this week. I dont want to wake up hung over any more.
By the way, after a long work day, I went to the gym and worked out, came home and made dinner for the family. My wife and I put the kids to bed and now about to sit down for a movie together. It is nice doing that and not being half drunk and ready for bed.
Thanks for the input everyone...So what is Milk thistle? Is it suppose to help the liver function? Thank you again - J
I have seen the phrase "I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired" a lot being said around here......That phrase has been running through my head quiet a bit this week. I dont want to wake up hung over any more.
By the way, after a long work day, I went to the gym and worked out, came home and made dinner for the family. My wife and I put the kids to bed and now about to sit down for a movie together. It is nice doing that and not being half drunk and ready for bed.
Thanks for the input everyone...So what is Milk thistle? Is it suppose to help the liver function? Thank you again - J
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Toronto
Posts: 318
Originally Posted by MA50 
Thank you all so very much for the kind words and encouragement. I can not tell you how glad I am to have found this site. It has really opened my eyes to how a habit can turn into an addiction before you realize it.
I have seen the phrase "I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired" a lot being said around here......That phrase has been running through my head quiet a bit this week. I dont want to wake up hung over any more.
By the way, after a long work day, I went to the gym and worked out, came home and made dinner for the family. My wife and I put the kids to bed and now about to sit down for a movie together. It is nice doing that and not being half drunk and ready for bed.
Thanks for the input everyone...So what is Milk thistle? Is it suppose to help the liver function? Thank you again - J
I have seen the phrase "I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired" a lot being said around here......That phrase has been running through my head quiet a bit this week. I dont want to wake up hung over any more.
By the way, after a long work day, I went to the gym and worked out, came home and made dinner for the family. My wife and I put the kids to bed and now about to sit down for a movie together. It is nice doing that and not being half drunk and ready for bed.
Thanks for the input everyone...So what is Milk thistle? Is it suppose to help the liver function? Thank you again - J
But I agree with the below statement ask your Dr. or a Nutritionist, or a Naturalpathic Dr. if you are concerned. I just know it worked really well for me.
Good luck.
Good for you...You are on the right track, we all KNOW exactly what you are saying, we've been there....We are all here for you...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Bennington, VT
Posts: 7
Hey MA, my story is similar in that my habit turned into trouble. I haven't had a drink in 19 days. For me, working on relationship with spouse with a well-recommended therapist has been wonderful.
You should feel great about recognizing problem now.
You should feel great about recognizing problem now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 429
Not Boring at all. So glad you were able to share your story & admit you are ready to change, and want help in doing so. Welcome to SR site!
Hope you find lots of advise & support here.
4 days is a great start to a Sober weekend!
Stay Strong!
Hope you find lots of advise & support here.
4 days is a great start to a Sober weekend!
Stay Strong!
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