Making goals so I don't isolate
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: salt Lake
Posts: 488
Making goals so I don't isolate
Day one. I was sober for months and have relapsed more than a handful of times recently.
Before I relapsed I guess I was already relapsing because I slept all the time (12-16 Hrs a day). I think I need to come up with a daily/weekly plan so I don't fall into the sleeping all day thing or again. A plan/goals committing which nights I will attend meetings; what time I will get up on weekends; things I will do to stay out of bed; when and what I absolutely will and will not do.
I haven't set goals for so so very long. I think anxiety and my all or nothing thinking has stopped me from making a plan or setting goals. But I seriously do have a problem with isolating way too much.
Anyone with experience with this? Thoughts/Suggestions??
Before I relapsed I guess I was already relapsing because I slept all the time (12-16 Hrs a day). I think I need to come up with a daily/weekly plan so I don't fall into the sleeping all day thing or again. A plan/goals committing which nights I will attend meetings; what time I will get up on weekends; things I will do to stay out of bed; when and what I absolutely will and will not do.
I haven't set goals for so so very long. I think anxiety and my all or nothing thinking has stopped me from making a plan or setting goals. But I seriously do have a problem with isolating way too much.
Anyone with experience with this? Thoughts/Suggestions??
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,471
Yes, I think your idea is a great one.
Yoga works wonders for me. It helps me get in touch with how my body is doing at any given time. It's relaxing and energizing.
For me, volunteer work literally saved me soul. I know it was one of those 'meant to be' experiences, but I started working with women living on the street in the downtown core of the city and I stayed with them for almost 8 years. I fell in love with the women and they loved me in a pure and non-judgemental way.
Yoga works wonders for me. It helps me get in touch with how my body is doing at any given time. It's relaxing and energizing.
For me, volunteer work literally saved me soul. I know it was one of those 'meant to be' experiences, but I started working with women living on the street in the downtown core of the city and I stayed with them for almost 8 years. I fell in love with the women and they loved me in a pure and non-judgemental way.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
I have found that small goals at first are the way to go.
Just very small things and then they start to build.
For instance, before I went to my first AA meeting I just went and sat outside the meeting in my car. Did that several times. Finally I just got up and went in. I don't think I ever would have done it without the baby steps first though.
Just very small things and then they start to build.
For instance, before I went to my first AA meeting I just went and sat outside the meeting in my car. Did that several times. Finally I just got up and went in. I don't think I ever would have done it without the baby steps first though.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Northeast
Posts: 441
Make a list and check things off as you go along so you feel accomplished. I use an app called "errands" I really like it.
Maybe do things such as "cleaning ___ area for 15 minutes," walk for 30 minutes. What are your goals? Figure out one or two and then decide what steps you'll have to take every day to reach them. Make them your daily rituals and check off tasks you complete.
Maybe do things such as "cleaning ___ area for 15 minutes," walk for 30 minutes. What are your goals? Figure out one or two and then decide what steps you'll have to take every day to reach them. Make them your daily rituals and check off tasks you complete.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
PK I can sleep all the time if I have no reason to get out of bed. Sunday I slept and read in bed all day. I don't think it's depression but just readjusting to sober life.
I actually set an alarm, get up showered & dressed including shoes and my day is much better. If I put on slippers I'm never as productive.
I know it sounds weird but this one small thing makes a big difference to my routine.
S x
I actually set an alarm, get up showered & dressed including shoes and my day is much better. If I put on slippers I'm never as productive.
I know it sounds weird but this one small thing makes a big difference to my routine.
S x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Work really helped me, but now lack of work has led to spending an inordinate amount of time in bed. Upon arising I don't know if it's 8am or 8pm.
Bed is supposed to only be for night time, but it's like my best lover. It never rejects, it always welcomes. It says, "forget everything and I will give you unconditional succor." How can you resist that?
One could hope for a more perfect world, but this is the one we've got.
I like the baby steps idea. Cleaning your apt. for 30 mins. per day is a good idea. In my instance, I've let it slide and at 30 mins. per day it's going to take a long time to clean, but the journey of 100 miles starts with the first step.
Damn, that first step sometimes seems like it requires the Green Giant, and he's a mythical titan associated with green beans not likely to materialize any time in the foreseeable future. In fact, being entirely mythical, you can wait 'till the cows come home and he won't show.
But there are tons of people willing to offer a gentle ear, and they don't even know you. I rely on phone talk lines a lot, and not of the sexual variety. In fact, in all honesty, I call 6 or so per day, and everyone has been very cordial. It reassures me that I'm not a freak. A tender voice on the other end makes me feel really good and part of the human race.
Alienation sucks, and...speaking for myself, I need reminders that what I'm going through is not unique.
I know Jimi Hendrix said, "I'm gonna fly my freak flag high," but I don't want to be a freak or die prematurely. I wouldn't mind passing off this mortal coil at any time, but I'm not a star, so all that would be involved is saddening loved ones, not a legacy.
I've got responsibilities. Chin chin.
Bed is supposed to only be for night time, but it's like my best lover. It never rejects, it always welcomes. It says, "forget everything and I will give you unconditional succor." How can you resist that?
One could hope for a more perfect world, but this is the one we've got.
I like the baby steps idea. Cleaning your apt. for 30 mins. per day is a good idea. In my instance, I've let it slide and at 30 mins. per day it's going to take a long time to clean, but the journey of 100 miles starts with the first step.
Damn, that first step sometimes seems like it requires the Green Giant, and he's a mythical titan associated with green beans not likely to materialize any time in the foreseeable future. In fact, being entirely mythical, you can wait 'till the cows come home and he won't show.
But there are tons of people willing to offer a gentle ear, and they don't even know you. I rely on phone talk lines a lot, and not of the sexual variety. In fact, in all honesty, I call 6 or so per day, and everyone has been very cordial. It reassures me that I'm not a freak. A tender voice on the other end makes me feel really good and part of the human race.
Alienation sucks, and...speaking for myself, I need reminders that what I'm going through is not unique.
I know Jimi Hendrix said, "I'm gonna fly my freak flag high," but I don't want to be a freak or die prematurely. I wouldn't mind passing off this mortal coil at any time, but I'm not a star, so all that would be involved is saddening loved ones, not a legacy.
I've got responsibilities. Chin chin.
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