broken101

I had my first therapy session yesterday and it was good. I found myself talking about him for the first 1/2 hour then I said to my therapist, why am I talking about him? I want to talk about me and how I can recover quickly and how I don't want to attract or be attracted to sick people in my next relationship.
She said she was just waiting for me to realize how much time I sped taking about him and she knew once I get it off my cheats I would focus on me. But I do I want to heal I want to wake up in the morning and forget he ever existed in my life. She also told me he probably had already moved on with some other girl and I told her I wish I can save that girl from him and she said it was not for me to worry about and that he may never chance because that is who he is.
I don't understand why I cannot let go or forget about him. I have so much going for me so many possibilities for a bright successful future and all I think about is this pathic, laying, cheating leaching human that I once loved more than anything in the world.

dollydo

I am Dolly Do, I have a "Can Do" attitude, "Can't Do" never enters my mind. You can let go...IF you ever decide to. Keep the therapy up.

broken101

I have decided to let go. I have had no contact with him for the last 2 weeks an I dont miss the nonsense that goes with being in a relationship with him, but i do miss the idea of being with him. And I think this is what I am learning about my relationship with him I was never really "in love" with him I was more in love with the idea of being with him and having my failry tail ever after. Is that crazy?

dollydo

" I was more in love with the idea of being with him and having my failry tail ever after. Is that crazy."

Sometimes we fall in love with a fantasy of love, we today, are bombarded with the aspect of being in love. The Internet, TV, Magazines, Books...how to love, how to find love, how to stay in love, the love of our life and on and on it goes, it is endless, and all of the four listed above, are businesses that are making big money on that little four letter word that so overtakes our rational thinking process.

I think no contact is a very good idea.

Katiekate

It will take time.

Give yourself a break, really honey. You are doing all the right things, you're thinking and your feelings will change considerably as time goes by.

This is a process, it can be agonizing, but everyday of feeling is a day of healing.

Have you looked at the steps at all, I found them very freeing and very empowering. You don't have to work them at this point, just maybe try to embrace the concepts of powerlesness, acceptance, handing things over, the idea that a power greater than you is working for your benefit and healing.

You are doing great, just keep moving forward, making the right moves to get you closer to your heart.

I look forward to the day when I look on the forum and your name changes from broken to healed

You are awesome, I am sending you lots of love and peaceful thoughts!

Katie

broken101

Dollydo…I am so inspired by your motivation and wisdom. Thank you.

I started today all sad and depressed because I learnt HE is getting yet another car someone brought him and it’s a nicer car than mine and I was upset as to how all good things is going his way and he cant even pay me for the deal we had…but after realizing that all good things come to an end and that no matter how much material thing he may acquire as he cannot get them on his own he will never really truly be happy as he is a lost soul and true happiness come when you are happy with yourself and I know he may never find that so I pray for him that he finds it one day. ( And I hope this is the last time I mention HIM…I want it to be all about ME now)

I laughed today and I will continue to smile and be happy cause I do love myself and I know I can do bad all by myself lol…I will never be happy with someone if I am not happy with being by myself. Today I will begin my journey to my own happiness and I am going to start my acing my finals tonight. I have refocused myself and I want to spend this summer travelling, going to different countries, states meeting new people and catching up with old ones, eating I want to eat, pray and love my life lol and just having fun with those who truly cares for me.

Katiekate- thank you..it is getting better as each day that passes but you know we all have those days….and yes yes I will do it and I hope its soon I will someday have that name change. You are so optimistic and I appreciate that. Thank you.