lonely
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
I know the feeling... what helps me sometimes is going to an AA meeting. Something I know won't work though is drinking. Reaching out to people can be scary at times but one may be surprised by how welcoming and forgiving people can be.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: ma
Posts: 242
you are right. I think about drinking but I know I wont. The aftermath isn't worth it. I guess I just miss the socialization that went with my nights out. that and the not caring about the consequences of my actions or words. I have just been very down and sullen lately. That is not me. trying to eat well and exercise... Its just not working. Trying to change my attitude just feeling blech.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Land of the free, Home of the Brave
Posts: 158
I so understand that. I miss the socialization with my friends who still go out. But I know I can't and really don't want to sit in a bar...it is just about finding other ways to socialize I guess.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Northeast
Posts: 441
Last weekend I felt very down and lonely, also missing the socialization of the bar scene. I joined a new fitness class and it made me feel so much better - accomplished, healthy, and connected to the others in the group (as opposed to working out on my own). Maybe try to find some interests on meetup.com (sober ones obv) or other places where you can interact with others? Do you have a dog? Go to the dog park if so. Even the library is nice, its puts me into a different frame of mind than when I am home. Always try to do as much as you can before night time, tiring myself out is essential or I start to feel that anxious energy at night.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 210
Janie - great suggestions - you can also pick a race that you'd like to run start with a 5K if you haven't run much, the training schedule isn't difficult but it gives you something to obsess about other than drinking. I'm sure there's a local running club that hosts beginners, intermediate and experienced running groups.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 28
When I was an avid member of AA, and was in early recovery I was so bored and lonely all the time. It amazed me though and still does all the people who have the same addictions and afflictions that I do. I had to find new ways to do EVERYTHING! We aren't freaks, we are just different and that's ok. I found for me, that loneliness and fear had crippled me back to using so many times. It was ridiculous. I'm not trying to beat it anymore, I'm just going to accept it and do everything I can to live a clean life. I love my substance abuse counselor! He's really good. We are taking it slow because that's all I can do. But it does help knowing that I'm not alone! Poor me! Wahhhhh. Lol. This comes from the girl that can do anything that she sets her mind to. What a mess I have become. Could be worse I suppose. Anyway, just reaching out.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 429
I think we just forgot how to do things sober & clear minded. At least that was my case. Even the mundane tasks, movies, activities could be made so much more exciting in my mind with a drink... or 10!
It was hard to relearn how to laugh, have fun or just "be" while sober. I hear it gets easier!
All the Best!
~Peace
It was hard to relearn how to laugh, have fun or just "be" while sober. I hear it gets easier!
All the Best!
~Peace
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
You won't be alone at AA. You can get a phone list and there will be someone who will talk to you and you won't have to feel like a freak, because you're not.
A freak is someone who shoots innocent kids in a school. I'm not sure there's a help group for someone that far gone, but if you're an alkie, there is all kinds of help. And it's all available here.
You don't have to go this alone, by any means. Hang around, even if it's only lurking.
I've been to tons of AA meetings, and I've never seen anyone kicked out. Being a wall flower is better than dying prematurely. People need people, otherwise we wither and die. Unless you're a monk, but that's a specialty field.
You don't have to say anything, and if you sit at the back, you probably won't have to. But at least you'll be around people, and most of them will extend every kindness to you, if you're willing to accept it, because they know the score.
My experience has been that they don't push it, so if you choose to abscond, they don't pursue. You're safe. Not damned in both directions, but always welcome back.
A freak is someone who shoots innocent kids in a school. I'm not sure there's a help group for someone that far gone, but if you're an alkie, there is all kinds of help. And it's all available here.
You don't have to go this alone, by any means. Hang around, even if it's only lurking.
I've been to tons of AA meetings, and I've never seen anyone kicked out. Being a wall flower is better than dying prematurely. People need people, otherwise we wither and die. Unless you're a monk, but that's a specialty field.
You don't have to say anything, and if you sit at the back, you probably won't have to. But at least you'll be around people, and most of them will extend every kindness to you, if you're willing to accept it, because they know the score.
My experience has been that they don't push it, so if you choose to abscond, they don't pursue. You're safe. Not damned in both directions, but always welcome back.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
Hey guys I went to the movies with my mum yesterday. You have no idea how weird that situation is for my particular set of family circumstances ! It was nice. The popcorn rocked. 😊I noticed heaps of people in there by themselves and thought oh I'm gunna do that. Mum said yeah I do it all the time. It's bliss ! Just a suggestion. I've also been cleaning things I never do like my car. Took me 1.5 hours just to vaccum the half a beach living in it. Man I tell you everyday today I've got in my car and its clean and lovely looking well it made me smile. Little bits here and there its all you can do. X
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
And write. If you can't do anything else just write the same line. Document how your feeling. It does feel slightly removed from you when you " give "it to the paper. Also look for guided meditations on you tube. You will find one that suits you. Give it ago x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
You're not alone, and in terms of who you are, you're liss74. You won't be mistaken for anyone else, although we do have commonalities. And that's why I say you're not alone.
Join the life raft. It's not sinking, and shows no evidence of that happening. Until we reach land, we've got a long haul, but we've got sustenance to sustain us. And the water is pretty, and we're getting to know one another in a fashion that wouldn't happen in normal situations.
In a normal situation where the boat isn't sinking, we'd have a casual conversation and that would be it. That's kind of boring though. On the life raft you have much more interesting conversations. True to heart. Perhaps some funny business on someone's part, but it's the real deal.
Peoples' true personalities come out because they just can't hide it anymore.
Join the life raft. It's not sinking, and shows no evidence of that happening. Until we reach land, we've got a long haul, but we've got sustenance to sustain us. And the water is pretty, and we're getting to know one another in a fashion that wouldn't happen in normal situations.
In a normal situation where the boat isn't sinking, we'd have a casual conversation and that would be it. That's kind of boring though. On the life raft you have much more interesting conversations. True to heart. Perhaps some funny business on someone's part, but it's the real deal.
Peoples' true personalities come out because they just can't hide it anymore.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,031
Thannnnkkkk youuuuuu 
t
Originally Posted by renaldo 
You're not alone, and in terms of who you are, you're liss74. You won't be mistaken for anyone else, although we do have commonalities. And that's why I say you're not alone.
Join the life raft. It's not sinking, and shows no evidence of that happening. Until we reach land, we've got a long haul, but we've got sustenance to sustain us. And the water is pretty, and we're getting to know one another in a fashion that wouldn't happen in normal situations.
In a normal situation where the boat isn't sinking, we'd have a casual conversation and that would be it. That's kind of boring though. On the life raft you have much more interesting conversations. True to heart. Perhaps some funny business on someone's part, but it's the real deal.
Peoples' true personalities come out because they just can't hide it anymore.
Join the life raft. It's not sinking, and shows no evidence of that happening. Until we reach land, we've got a long haul, but we've got sustenance to sustain us. And the water is pretty, and we're getting to know one another in a fashion that wouldn't happen in normal situations.
In a normal situation where the boat isn't sinking, we'd have a casual conversation and that would be it. That's kind of boring though. On the life raft you have much more interesting conversations. True to heart. Perhaps some funny business on someone's part, but it's the real deal.
Peoples' true personalities come out because they just can't hide it anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: ma
Posts: 242
Originally Posted by janiebluebird
Last weekend I felt very down and lonely, also missing the socialization of the bar scene. I joined a new fitness class and it made me feel so much better - accomplished, healthy, and connected to the others in the group (as opposed to working out on my own). Maybe try to find some interests on meetup.com (sober ones obv) or other places where you can interact with others? Do you have a dog? Go to the dog park if so. Even the library is nice, its puts me into a different frame of mind than when I am home. Always try to do as much as you can before night time, tiring myself out is essential or I start to feel that anxious energy at night.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: ma
Posts: 242
Well, I found a belly dancing class I think I will try to join. I missed the first class last week but that should be ok. I have had this overwhelming urge to dance like crazy lately but doing the club thing just does not appeal to me. When I drank I would stay up late and clean my house to music and dance and drink. haha it sounds so funny when you write that down!
I know the things I need to do to start feeling better but to actually get up and do it, I'm missing that. I have no UMPH lately. I have been feeling so drained and down.
Exercise does help, and getting my curves back certainly does make me happier! Years of sam adams does not do well for the ole waist line!
I find myself making a lot of excuses for myself lately which is also something I have always tried not to do.
Thank you all for your suggestions. I just need to change my stinkin thinkin!
such a dork
I know the things I need to do to start feeling better but to actually get up and do it, I'm missing that. I have no UMPH lately. I have been feeling so drained and down.
Exercise does help, and getting my curves back certainly does make me happier! Years of sam adams does not do well for the ole waist line!
I find myself making a lot of excuses for myself lately which is also something I have always tried not to do.
Thank you all for your suggestions. I just need to change my stinkin thinkin!
such a dork
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by renaldo
You won't be alone at AA. You can get a phone list and there will be someone who will talk to you and you won't have to feel like a freak, because you're not.
A freak is someone who shoots innocent kids in a school. I'm not sure there's a help group for someone that far gone, but if you're an alkie, there is all kinds of help. And it's all available here.
You don't have to go this alone, by any means. Hang around, even if it's only lurking.
I've been to tons of AA meetings, and I've never seen anyone kicked out. Being a wall flower is better than dying prematurely. People need people, otherwise we wither and die. Unless you're a monk, but that's a specialty field.
You don't have to say anything, and if you sit at the back, you probably won't have to. But at least you'll be around people, and most of them will extend every kindness to you, if you're willing to accept it, because they know the score.
My experience has been that they don't push it, so if you choose to abscond, they don't pursue. You're safe. Not damned in both directions, but always welcome back.
A freak is someone who shoots innocent kids in a school. I'm not sure there's a help group for someone that far gone, but if you're an alkie, there is all kinds of help. And it's all available here.
You don't have to go this alone, by any means. Hang around, even if it's only lurking.
I've been to tons of AA meetings, and I've never seen anyone kicked out. Being a wall flower is better than dying prematurely. People need people, otherwise we wither and die. Unless you're a monk, but that's a specialty field.
You don't have to say anything, and if you sit at the back, you probably won't have to. But at least you'll be around people, and most of them will extend every kindness to you, if you're willing to accept it, because they know the score.
My experience has been that they don't push it, so if you choose to abscond, they don't pursue. You're safe. Not damned in both directions, but always welcome back.
Lol. A monk. He said a monk. That was funny! Ha ha ahaahahahahahahahahahah
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
