AA Meeting and Relapse Stories
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
AA Meeting and Relapse Stories
Hi All, just wanted to let you know that I finally made it through the door to an AA meeting tonight.
As most of you predicted, it was not nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be and people were friendly although I got the sense this is a group that has been meeting for a long time.
Overall it was a good experience and I am glad I went but it also sort of scared the living hell out of me. One beautiful woman in her late thirties (my age) shared about having just come in from being homeless for ten years because of her addiction. Others shared similar stories. Instead of having the "At least THAT hasn't happened to me yet," reaction that I thought I would have, I had the "Holy Crap, that was so going to happen to me!" What a wake-up call.
The other thing that really got me were two stories of relapse. One woman had been sober for 18 years (18!!!) and had relapsed. Another man was sober for 7 and same story. Both had managed to rebuild lives and relationships during that time and then, poof!, gone within a year of picking up again.
I sat there and thought, "Is this going to be me now? Am I going to have to have that same level of vigilance? Is this the rest of my life?" and quite frankly it was overwhelming. I am still trying to process it.
I'm glad I went, I am going again tomorrow but the thought of going years and years and then relapsing fills me with dread. I know it's one day at a time but after stories like those, my brain is racing ahead to years down the road.
Thanks as always for listening and encouraging me to go to that meeting. Glad I got through the door even though I have plenty of (scary) fodder for thought now.
As most of you predicted, it was not nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be and people were friendly although I got the sense this is a group that has been meeting for a long time.
Overall it was a good experience and I am glad I went but it also sort of scared the living hell out of me. One beautiful woman in her late thirties (my age) shared about having just come in from being homeless for ten years because of her addiction. Others shared similar stories. Instead of having the "At least THAT hasn't happened to me yet," reaction that I thought I would have, I had the "Holy Crap, that was so going to happen to me!" What a wake-up call.
The other thing that really got me were two stories of relapse. One woman had been sober for 18 years (18!!!) and had relapsed. Another man was sober for 7 and same story. Both had managed to rebuild lives and relationships during that time and then, poof!, gone within a year of picking up again.
I sat there and thought, "Is this going to be me now? Am I going to have to have that same level of vigilance? Is this the rest of my life?" and quite frankly it was overwhelming. I am still trying to process it.
I'm glad I went, I am going again tomorrow but the thought of going years and years and then relapsing fills me with dread. I know it's one day at a time but after stories like those, my brain is racing ahead to years down the road.
Thanks as always for listening and encouraging me to go to that meeting. Glad I got through the door even though I have plenty of (scary) fodder for thought now.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
I was deathly scared of relapse to begin with pt.
I had no confidence in myself and my track record seemed to suggest inevitably I would drink again.
I'm glad I found a really great bunch of people here - I found a lot of friends and a few mentors...I stayed sober and...I changed...
I got my confidence back, I made a sober life I loved, and even grew to like the person I was becoming.
All that I am comes from my recovery - all I hold dear is predicated on my staying the person I've become.
I still work out on my recovery.
Addiction doesn't stand a chance now
D
I had no confidence in myself and my track record seemed to suggest inevitably I would drink again.
I'm glad I found a really great bunch of people here - I found a lot of friends and a few mentors...I stayed sober and...I changed...
I got my confidence back, I made a sober life I loved, and even grew to like the person I was becoming.
All that I am comes from my recovery - all I hold dear is predicated on my staying the person I've become.
I still work out on my recovery.
Addiction doesn't stand a chance now
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
