horriblethisis

Seriously...I am at work, and he doesn't hear from me because I am in meetings, and he is constantly texting, emailing and leaving me voicemail messages. I moved out and told him I needed space. We decided yesterday that we would see each other once per week, now he is just aggravating me...it feels like I never left! Yesterday he was fine, but today he told me I have not been helping with his recovery...wow - really? Not true! I just choose my own recovery now. I told him because of the way he is acting now, I have to go no contact. He has since called my office and crying on my voicemail. He is totally harrasing me and going to get me in trouble. He even said he was going to come to my work!!! OMG!!!!

laurie6781

If he shows up at your work call the police and then with their report in hand go get
a restraining order, as he is escalating and you are afraid of what he might do next.

Either way an RO might be a good idea at this time, as he is in the 'harassing mode'
in an attempt to manipulate you and it will get worse, he will go from crying and
begging to screaming and calling you every bad name he can think of.

He is NOT respecting your boundaries, what are the consequences?

Love and hugs,

Hanna

I'm so sorry you are going through this.
He sounds like he has gotten himself very worked up.
Do you still have reason to believe he's sober?

zoso77

Sick people behave like sick people.

As far as a RO goes, you would have to present a case where you feel your physical well-being is at risk. If you feel it is, don't hesitate to get one.

Best,
ZoSo

CrossFox

What Laurie said. At this point if you see him or listen to him as he wants, this will reward his awful behavior and he'll do it again.

Horriblethisis, IIRC from another post, your husband is also a complusive gambler?

I haven't been through a divorce, but I seem to remember you saying that you didn't want to think about seeing a lawyer just yet. Unfortunately thast might be the best idea because his addiction spiral can wipe your out and wreck your credit among other things. It's not what you want to think about right now I know. Maybe there is a way to freeze some funds or assets? There has to be a way in cases like these, and your husband just flooded your voicemail and phones with proof to make your case.

Don't erase the evidence! Stay strong.

tjp613

Yes, I agree that it is time to start documenting everything you can in a a notebook with as much detail as possible. It may prove very worthwhile in a court of law.

He's harrassing you to see if it will get a response. If you cave in then he learns that harrassment works!! He will try a hundred different tactics before he comes to accept that you are serious and it will most likely get worse before it gets better. Create a plan for what you will do in each possible scenario so that you can be prepared.

If he shows up at your door uninvited, tell him you will call the police if he doesn't leave.....then do it.

dollydo

He will use every trick in his bag, one minute he will be begging, the next, yelling, the next he'll throw a crying jag.

I totally agree with the other posters, set your bounderies and stick to them.

Honestly, the weekly meeting thing throws me for a loop, IMO all it will do is promote
more harassing and upset for you.

Hanna

How are you today? Am thinking about you.

horriblethisis

Thanks! I have gone no contact with my husband as of yesterday. HOWEVER, since then (in one day...less than 12 hours)...he tried to contact me 67 times via email, voicemail, texting, phone line, facebook. I have not responded. I know it's 67 times because I am now starting to keep track...just in case. Isn't that ridiculous. He is soooooo out of control!

GardenMama

It is out of control ,and that is why women get restraining orders for things like this, or Orders of Protection. Check in soon with your county's domestic violence office, please, to find out if this qualifies you. And if you ever feel in danger, please call 911. Promise?

Hanna

Saying prayers for you.