Alcoholic grandmother
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1
Alcoholic grandmother
Hi,
I want to say thank you before I start. My mother is an alcoholic. My family just moved closer to her, and I've had a strained relationship with her for many years. I always knew something was wrong...I'm 30 years old and have been having crazy arguments with her for 15 years. But I never thought she was an alcoholic. See, my dad was an alcoholic and died when I was little. I grew up hearing about his rages and the terrible things he did. The stories were so bad. My mom would tell me how he chased her around with butcher knife or how we would hide in the bathroom for him to pass out. So it's been a huge surprise to find out how my mom drinks.
And she drinks all the time. I kept a record of how many times she gets up to drink in the middle of the night. I've found bottle of rock gut vodka in her car and hidden in the bathroom. We got into a physical fight that I took a 50 dollar cab ride to get away from. It's terrible. I broke off contact Christmas Eve after she gave me a "my house, my rules" speech.
Now since then, my five year old asks about Grandma all the time. She called me wanting to see him and give him the Xmas presents. I feel so bad...when I am blunt with her, she denies it and says some of the nastiest, painful things. It wrecked me for a week. Then she calls me again like nothing ever happened. My mom has done some of the most wonderful amazing things for me. She a kind hearted and loving person. But I can't fight with her. And I can 't let my son see this. We got into an argument Friday about drinking and driving, and her response is that she never has gotten a ticket! What do I do? What do I do?
I want to say thank you before I start. My mother is an alcoholic. My family just moved closer to her, and I've had a strained relationship with her for many years. I always knew something was wrong...I'm 30 years old and have been having crazy arguments with her for 15 years. But I never thought she was an alcoholic. See, my dad was an alcoholic and died when I was little. I grew up hearing about his rages and the terrible things he did. The stories were so bad. My mom would tell me how he chased her around with butcher knife or how we would hide in the bathroom for him to pass out. So it's been a huge surprise to find out how my mom drinks.
And she drinks all the time. I kept a record of how many times she gets up to drink in the middle of the night. I've found bottle of rock gut vodka in her car and hidden in the bathroom. We got into a physical fight that I took a 50 dollar cab ride to get away from. It's terrible. I broke off contact Christmas Eve after she gave me a "my house, my rules" speech.
Now since then, my five year old asks about Grandma all the time. She called me wanting to see him and give him the Xmas presents. I feel so bad...when I am blunt with her, she denies it and says some of the nastiest, painful things. It wrecked me for a week. Then she calls me again like nothing ever happened. My mom has done some of the most wonderful amazing things for me. She a kind hearted and loving person. But I can't fight with her. And I can 't let my son see this. We got into an argument Friday about drinking and driving, and her response is that she never has gotten a ticket! What do I do? What do I do?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
Hello and 
. your post touches very close to home for me so for now i just want to say hello and let you know you have a found a good place. we do understand and many have been in your shoes. others will be along shortly. hugs to you.
. your post touches very close to home for me so for now i just want to say hello and let you know you have a found a good place. we do understand and many have been in your shoes. others will be along shortly. hugs to you.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((River))
welcome to our SR family
I hate so much that you are dealing with this heartbreaking disease ~ it truly tears families apart. The insanity of not knowing which person you will face when you visit is stressful ~ will it be the loving parent or the diseased controlled nightmare ~
Either way - please know it is ok to set healthy boundaries for you and your son ~ whatever you feel is safest for you & for him ~ It doesn't mean it has to stay that way forever - just means that's all you can do today.
There is lots of love, support and encouragement here at SR, I also find help thru the Al-Anon program & literature ~
either way - keep coming back - don't give up til the miracles happen in you ~ you deserve them!
pink hugs
welcome to our SR family
I hate so much that you are dealing with this heartbreaking disease ~ it truly tears families apart. The insanity of not knowing which person you will face when you visit is stressful ~ will it be the loving parent or the diseased controlled nightmare ~
Either way - please know it is ok to set healthy boundaries for you and your son ~ whatever you feel is safest for you & for him ~ It doesn't mean it has to stay that way forever - just means that's all you can do today.
There is lots of love, support and encouragement here at SR, I also find help thru the Al-Anon program & literature ~
either way - keep coming back - don't give up til the miracles happen in you ~ you deserve them!
pink hugs
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