lqypb

Ok so my girlfriend was on her third day of detox and she was told to not bring certain items like scissors and clippers and they can not have them in there possessions at any time during the stay. My gf is a stylist and a guy and her for a hair cut and she said that we can't have items like scissors or clippers and then the staff checked them out to them and my gf was not even done with detox and she is giving haircuts cause she feels bad and can't say no. I'm pissssed she spent 12,000$ and that was all put her own pocket she is
There for recovery right? Not to go and do her day job while withdrawing.

ntmu

what is the question? she's in rehab & had scissors & gave a haircut? what?

Hopscotch

Are you upset because you think that she's not taking this seriously? Giving it her undivided attention? Or because you feel she's risking being thrown out because she had scissors?

ntmu

yeah, sorry, but it seemed to me that you were upset that she gave a haircut?

SeekSobriety

Is she or has she been suicidal?. Are having the scisors a immediate life threat for her? If so you should let someone know.
If that is not a issue for her then pehaps you might need to let this go and support her by trusting her.

flutter

I'm going on assumption here.. but you're upset because she is cutting hair when she *should* be focusing on her recovery? Because she "can't say no". Learning how to deal with life is one of the main things she will do in a rehab (hopefully), and will need the skills for saying "no", communicating her wants and needs, etc.

JCMalta

I think what he is trying to say is that in rehab they wouldn't allow his girlfriend to cut other patients hair because scissors and clips are disallowed. Seems that this is not helping her doing her recovery.

sugarbear1

maybe go to al anon and focus on your healing

RocketQueen

I'm not quite sure what the issue is here. I may be alone in this, but I certainly do think that her being able to maintain some sort of "normalcy" within rehab is a good thing. Rehab can be quite stressful (from what I hear), and I know that personally, a distraction from WDS and such would be most welcome.

I think that you have your priorities a tad backwards. Your gf has actively taken steps to recover and that is a FANTASTIC thing. It's not that shes necessarily not focused on recovery. She is in a safe environment, and has found herself an outlet. Good on her.

RQ

SixStringZen

I'd say, focus on yourself, and trust the rehab facility to do the rehabbing...

vegibean

I think I get it, but here's the deal and being someone that works in a rehab...

You are not there to give hair cuts and take care of others. You are there to take care of yourself and focus on recovery.

As well, scissors could be used as a weapon and there are people, often in detox and rehab that are emotionally and mentally unstable and having anything that can be used as weapon is not allowed.

If she's in detox, she should be resting, and again, if you're in treatment, unless it's a recreational time, or free time, you really need to be following program rules, it's pretty much like that any where you go and it is usually in the best interest of the client as well as others, it's not a punishment.

I hope that helps lqypb.

peanut44

I totally second what vegibean and flutter say.

That's what it sounds like to me....


I have been in impatient and it took everything i had to focus and get the work done. She should not be cutting hair, stylist or not

Anna

Yeah, I agree, that rehab is not about scissors and cutting hair.

There is serious work to be done at rehab.

Carlotta

I agree with you guys about focusing on oneself and the danger of scissors in a rehab but on another hand, doing something nice for a stranger can really help when one feels like crap. It's a way to get out of our self centerness.

hawkeyefan

OR...are you jealous that she is cutting a guy's hair? That she's in re-hab and spending alot of time with other people and getting to know them well? I was recently in re-hab and you do get extremely close to the group becuz you share very intimate feelings and emotions with each other. That is a big part of the tx..Be honest with yourself and support her if you really want her to get better.

lqypb

I'm taking every thing everyone says for what it is because I can see both sides of the picture now that I got some I sight from all of you. To me it was just that she cuts hair every day and in recovery your suppose to get an escape from every day life and focus on your recovery and it's like she was doing her job there on the second day of her detox. She didn't even finish detox ti this morning. Today she started with the regular inpatient. But she was cheated of her detox to me, of course she's gonna do anything to get out of the room but who is to say that it won't effect her in the long run. I'm not upset at all a out it a I'm being supportive. Her case manager called me today and we talked for a while and they want me to come to family weekend in 2 weeks for therapy so that's cool and I'm excited to learn. I'm not jealous of a guy getting a haircut or her being close to people In the recovery center that's cool with me 100% I want her to enjoy the experience if never play the jealous bf. I can call like 4 diff times a day but I choose not to. I let her call me when she wants to talk. Thanks yall

peanut44

In my experience, i was in for 30 days and from day 1 it was non stop.

I was given, along with everyone else, a schedule that went morning meditation at 6am until lights out at 1100. I was busy all day. Very little recreational time towards the end of stay.

We had books we to read, homework we had to study that our counselors assigned to us based on our addiction etc. Etc.etc .

So if she had detox first, that should have been all encompassing. Detox isn't easy.

friday13

While I agree she should be focussing on recovery (and staff should be ensuring she sticks to the programme and isn't avoiding looking at her issues) I would imagine that having a break from the intensity of the programme by doing something she is good at could be helpful. It could help her get to know other residents by sharing a part of her life. It all depends what the programme is like. My detox had a lot of free time because we were all gibbering messes and couldn't concentrate long enough to do any real emotional work but once I got to rehab it was full on. No way would I have let someone cut my hair in detox though. Everyone's hands were shaking like leaves!

Carlotta

I forgot to mention too that in some rehabs, clients are given a little chore to do. I think the reasoning behind it is that some people were so far deep into addiction that they forgot how to be responsible and even how to handle basic household things like making their own bed.
When I was in rehab, my chore was to vacuum the meeting room in the evening. Maybe, giving haircut is her little chore and if you find out that she has to clean a bathroom or vacuum, please do not be upset about it.
Now if they have her on her knees,scrubbing the hall with a toothbrush then definitely take her out of here but otherwise, just let them do their things.
As far as her missing out on her "detox" it seems like she did not detox hard which is great! If she had been all sick and shaky or worse with the DTs, she would not have been able to cut hair so be grateful she "missed out" on that.

ntmu

so much projection here. crazy