keepingmyjoy1

It is totally amazing what you forget once you are out of the fog!!!!! I read my old posts again. I really should do it more often. It is like going back and reading a journal or diary. There were pieces of it that I had to work hard to remember the details. I can't believe that. Some of the worst posts did not show up-maybe they were too old.

I went back and read the posts because I was feeling lonely and friendless (earlier post about that) and I did not want to get sucked back in any way by the 6 month sober AH and his whining about what he wants..."wants his wife and son back where they belong" blah blah blah. He throws the comments in wherever he can. Tonight when I went to meet after DS visit with him today to get my son, he says "you know this is not how I want it to be".

I am still amazed that even sober he can only life in the terms of HIS needs and HIS wants....and reading my posts just blows me away that I even think in terms of "us" even a smidge. It really hit me when I saw in front of my eyes my posts from 2007! Wow...I asked myself "do I really want to be dealing with this where I am 5 more years from now??????? Nope.

If you waiver in whatever choices you make for your own good, go back and read your posts...I hope it helps you like it just helped me.