pressdelete2010

Has anyone had experience with being an alcoholic married to an alcoholic and got sober. Our connection has always been a while drinking as most alcoholic couples do. Now 3 children later and a business we run together and barely making it financially. he starts drinking secretly in the morning. by night he's loaded then I start drinking once the kids are in bed because for some reason I can't just go to sleep. He's been to inhouse rehab twice, I live vicariously through him because if I were to go myself, I can't trust him to care for my kids throughout the month. I am on the computer from the time I wake up until the time the kids go to bed trying to manage the workload. I barely feel there's enough time to shower let alone go to AA. if I went to AA meetings I have to bring my kids because there's always an excuse and why he can't watch them or he's just not there period. I don't even know if bringing kids to meetings is accepted or ideal. is there any hope for me to get sober my living with another alcoholic. what do I do..

Jeni26

Hi pressdelete, and welcome to SR x

Yes, I'm an alcoholic and so is my H, and were both coming up to 9 months sober now.

It sounds like you're coming to terms with it and he isn't ready to face this? That was the same for me too, but don't let it stop you from making your own commitment to getting sober. I had to move forward on my own for a while. That wasn't easy but it is indeed possible.

My sobriety isn't dependent on his, though I must admit it does make things a whole lot easier!

Anything is possible, I truly believe that, but for now you need to concentrate on yourself and doing what's right for you x

pressdelete2010

Thank You. I didn't think anybody has responded to me. Do you have any tips on what you do to combat the cravings. when he is drunk or he brings liquor home . what are some of the things that make you strong. what makes you not want to drink. last night I went to bed at 9. probably because he was super drunk and seemed to want to go to bed. had he offered to get more drinks I probably would have joined in. but since he was ready to go to bed it made it easier for me. I woke up this morning feeling wonderful. I try to keep reminding myself " this day was brought to you by sobriety". but it seems like when I feel good as when I want to drink. why can't I accept a beautiful thing for what it is.. I don't want to break up my family. I don't even know how I would function financially. but I am a train wreck as it is. what has helped you

MyFitz

PD,
I exercise to help relieve my awful anxiety as well as abstinence over time. Hang in there.

FreeFall

It sounds like you are ready to make a change. I love that saying "this day is brought to you by sobriety" It really feels like a gift when you wake up clear headed and feeling decent doesn't it? It's going to be a challenge getting sober when you live with a drinker, but for your family's sake it's totally worth it.

I believe there are online AA meetings if that's the program you think will work for you. Just being here on SR will be very helpful-we're here 24/7 for support.

As for fighting cravings, I found the AVRT concept really helpful, you can read about here on SR. Telling myself "not today maybe tomorrow". Finding rewards other than booze for getting through stressful days.

When your husband sees you being sober and the improvements it will make in your life maybe he will get on board

Fandy

this is really hard...it sounds as if you are doing all the work and your husband is enjoying the ride? 2 rehabs down the drain and he is now drinking for breakfast?

perhaps it is time to tell him what YOU need and expect.

welcome to SR, it is wonderful support for both families and those with the addiction.

pressdelete2010

thank you everyone so much for your responses. I have been digging through the forum taking notes and writing down inspiration. I have to accept the fact that it will be hard that life as is is not easy either. this can't be what I was created to be.