Here to start over
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 3
Here to start over
Hi everyone, I'm Chris and like others around here I have a problem with alcohol, a very severe one for that matter. My story is long, I like most of you guys can probably write a book.
My father was an alcoholic, a very angry one for that matter. My mom left him after 27 years of marriage because of it, and he continued drinking for about 1 more year until he found medical problems, and he quit, becoming fully sober. After their divorce my dad moved back to his country of origin in Eastern Europe, and I went along with him, I was 14 at the time.
In Romania, where my family is from, people don't respect laws about not selling alcohol to minors. So ever since I was 14, my dad would encourage me to have a cup of vodka to get rid of my shyness and approach girls, but I started liking it too much and having one too many. I thought it made me more manly. But still it was once a month maybe I would get hammered maybe at a bar or restaurant.
I met an extremely gorgeous girl in high school, super model type, and pursued her for over a year. During this time, I started falling in love deeply with her, and started drinking wine every night to get a buzz because the love songs and music listened to sounded a lot better I thought with the buzz in my head.
After a year, she finally gave in and we got together when I was 16 and she 18. I was her first boyfriend ever, she came from a strict upbringing and her dad didn't want her to have a boyfriend, so we only saw each other a few times each week in secret. I continued to drink to make time pass faster, or so I felt. I was drinking about 4 liters of beer a day.
I felt that I'm going to be 18 soon, and I should move back to the USA to get a job. But I couldn't leave her, so we made a plan for her to run away from home, get married, and move here. She did, and I continued drinking. In one of my drunken rages I smashed up a room at my fathers house to get back at him because he didn't want me to get married. I'm ashamed to admit it. I quit for like 2 weeks, but then again had a beer because I was getting bored.
She runs away from her home to be with me, but I continued again drinking daily and large amounts. We started having arguments about it, and she left for a week. I pursued her that I love her and I will quit drinking. She ran away from home again, but I continued drinking.
We got married and got her her visa and came to the states. I found a job, a very good job for that matter. But when I would get home I continued drinking. That's all that would be on my mind. I wasn't 21 and couldn't buy, so I would beg people to get it for me on a constant basis.
I experimented the first time with marijuana around that time, and didn't drink for a month because I was getting high. But then I started mixing them. Every party I went to, I would get super messed up while no one else was.
In 2010 she and I were driving home from the club and she was tipsy as well. I got a DUI. My BAC was 2.6.
I lost my job in early 2012 because of too many absences. Those were absences because I stayed up the whole night drinking. When I lost my job, I started drinking from morning to night. She would get home from work in the afternoon, but I was sleeping already drunk.
This continued since then until 2 months ago when I started noticing a change in her affections. 1 month ago today she disappeared from home with another guy from her work and moved in with him saying she doesn't love me anymore. I drank hardcore for the first 5 days after this happened morning tonight. Usually I'm almost exclusively a beer guy, but I started drinking tequila hardcore. I calmed down for a few days, only having like 2 or 3 32oz (small portion for me) of beer at night before bed and started having major sleeping problems. Then again started drinking morning tonight for a week until yesterday without eating absolutely anything for 8 days.
My mom had an intervention with me last night when I awoke from another drunken stupor, and begged me to get help. I didn't touch anymore booze last night, and because of it and whats going on with my wife all this stuff is rolling around in my head. I only slept like 45 min the whole night with withdrawals. Stuff like constant sweating, feeling cold and hot at the same time, throwing up. This morning I tried to eat something, but I immediately threw it up. Couldn't even keep water down. I managed to eat finally a little, like 4 chicken nuggets, and I managed to keep it down.
I'm pretty depressed about the whole situation with all the guilt on my part. But my major problem is the sleep, especially w/o the liquor. I'm exhausted, but I'm used to being knocked out from the alcohol and not dreaming much, so my mind is not used to being so active when trying to sleep. But I'm dead set on not drinking anymore.
I'm at 23 hours clean. I know as much as I hope even if I clean up I won't get her back. But if I couldn't quit for her, I have to quit for me. I'm 24, so I have my whole life ahead.
Thanks for listening to my long rant.
My father was an alcoholic, a very angry one for that matter. My mom left him after 27 years of marriage because of it, and he continued drinking for about 1 more year until he found medical problems, and he quit, becoming fully sober. After their divorce my dad moved back to his country of origin in Eastern Europe, and I went along with him, I was 14 at the time.
In Romania, where my family is from, people don't respect laws about not selling alcohol to minors. So ever since I was 14, my dad would encourage me to have a cup of vodka to get rid of my shyness and approach girls, but I started liking it too much and having one too many. I thought it made me more manly. But still it was once a month maybe I would get hammered maybe at a bar or restaurant.
I met an extremely gorgeous girl in high school, super model type, and pursued her for over a year. During this time, I started falling in love deeply with her, and started drinking wine every night to get a buzz because the love songs and music listened to sounded a lot better I thought with the buzz in my head.
After a year, she finally gave in and we got together when I was 16 and she 18. I was her first boyfriend ever, she came from a strict upbringing and her dad didn't want her to have a boyfriend, so we only saw each other a few times each week in secret. I continued to drink to make time pass faster, or so I felt. I was drinking about 4 liters of beer a day.
I felt that I'm going to be 18 soon, and I should move back to the USA to get a job. But I couldn't leave her, so we made a plan for her to run away from home, get married, and move here. She did, and I continued drinking. In one of my drunken rages I smashed up a room at my fathers house to get back at him because he didn't want me to get married. I'm ashamed to admit it. I quit for like 2 weeks, but then again had a beer because I was getting bored.
She runs away from her home to be with me, but I continued again drinking daily and large amounts. We started having arguments about it, and she left for a week. I pursued her that I love her and I will quit drinking. She ran away from home again, but I continued drinking.
We got married and got her her visa and came to the states. I found a job, a very good job for that matter. But when I would get home I continued drinking. That's all that would be on my mind. I wasn't 21 and couldn't buy, so I would beg people to get it for me on a constant basis.
I experimented the first time with marijuana around that time, and didn't drink for a month because I was getting high. But then I started mixing them. Every party I went to, I would get super messed up while no one else was.
In 2010 she and I were driving home from the club and she was tipsy as well. I got a DUI. My BAC was 2.6.
I lost my job in early 2012 because of too many absences. Those were absences because I stayed up the whole night drinking. When I lost my job, I started drinking from morning to night. She would get home from work in the afternoon, but I was sleeping already drunk.
This continued since then until 2 months ago when I started noticing a change in her affections. 1 month ago today she disappeared from home with another guy from her work and moved in with him saying she doesn't love me anymore. I drank hardcore for the first 5 days after this happened morning tonight. Usually I'm almost exclusively a beer guy, but I started drinking tequila hardcore. I calmed down for a few days, only having like 2 or 3 32oz (small portion for me) of beer at night before bed and started having major sleeping problems. Then again started drinking morning tonight for a week until yesterday without eating absolutely anything for 8 days.
My mom had an intervention with me last night when I awoke from another drunken stupor, and begged me to get help. I didn't touch anymore booze last night, and because of it and whats going on with my wife all this stuff is rolling around in my head. I only slept like 45 min the whole night with withdrawals. Stuff like constant sweating, feeling cold and hot at the same time, throwing up. This morning I tried to eat something, but I immediately threw it up. Couldn't even keep water down. I managed to eat finally a little, like 4 chicken nuggets, and I managed to keep it down.
I'm pretty depressed about the whole situation with all the guilt on my part. But my major problem is the sleep, especially w/o the liquor. I'm exhausted, but I'm used to being knocked out from the alcohol and not dreaming much, so my mind is not used to being so active when trying to sleep. But I'm dead set on not drinking anymore.
I'm at 23 hours clean. I know as much as I hope even if I clean up I won't get her back. But if I couldn't quit for her, I have to quit for me. I'm 24, so I have my whole life ahead.
Thanks for listening to my long rant.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Hi Chris - welcome
Sadly your story is pretty familiar to me - I ruined not one but two relationships with drinking and pot.
I think you're right tho - you need to clean up for you - it simply doesn't work if you do it for anyone else, not in the long run.
The good news is - you're not alone here. This is an amazing place of support and encouragement
Do think about seeing a Dr too, ok? detox can be pretty rough sometimes.
D
Sadly your story is pretty familiar to me - I ruined not one but two relationships with drinking and pot.
I think you're right tho - you need to clean up for you - it simply doesn't work if you do it for anyone else, not in the long run.
The good news is - you're not alone here. This is an amazing place of support and encouragement
Do think about seeing a Dr too, ok? detox can be pretty rough sometimes.
D
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Hi Chris,
I quit about 10 days ago... just one thing to keep in mind... some of the really bad detox can set in between 24 and 48 hours. My first day I was puking a lot and couldn't keep down water, but I was mostly fine... it wasn't til around 30 hours that I got really bad and needed to go to the hospital. I'm really thankful, they gave me an IV with vitamins and some meds to keep me from getting any of the really scary stuff and some scrips to handle the nausea in the first few days. So just keep an eye out, if things start getting worse then go to the ER. I'm glad I did.
Welcome!!
I quit about 10 days ago... just one thing to keep in mind... some of the really bad detox can set in between 24 and 48 hours. My first day I was puking a lot and couldn't keep down water, but I was mostly fine... it wasn't til around 30 hours that I got really bad and needed to go to the hospital. I'm really thankful, they gave me an IV with vitamins and some meds to keep me from getting any of the really scary stuff and some scrips to handle the nausea in the first few days. So just keep an eye out, if things start getting worse then go to the ER. I'm glad I did.
Welcome!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, Chris.
I'm really sorry to hear about the toll it's taken on you. I can sure relate to a lot of your post. But I tell you what—you're wising up at a much younger age that I did, and you're going to be really glad you did. You are absolutely right that you should do this for yourself. Whatever happens, you have a lot of life and love ahead of you. This is the best gift you could possibly give your future self.
Glad you found SR!
I'm really sorry to hear about the toll it's taken on you. I can sure relate to a lot of your post. But I tell you what—you're wising up at a much younger age that I did, and you're going to be really glad you did. You are absolutely right that you should do this for yourself. Whatever happens, you have a lot of life and love ahead of you. This is the best gift you could possibly give your future self.
Glad you found SR!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Chris
Don't worry about the sleeping for now, you will probably find that after withdrawals it will settle down and you will sleep fine. I'm really glad you came to the realisation that you have to quit for yourself at a young age. I'm sure SR will be a huge support for you. Getting checked out by a doctor might be a good idea at this stage. Glad you're here x
Don't worry about the sleeping for now, you will probably find that after withdrawals it will settle down and you will sleep fine. I'm really glad you came to the realisation that you have to quit for yourself at a young age. I'm sure SR will be a huge support for you. Getting checked out by a doctor might be a good idea at this stage. Glad you're here x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 3
Ty all for the wonderful and kind responses. I'm at hour 36 now, but feeling a lot better. No more throwing up, just a little shaking feeling hot and cold at the same time.
I'm just scared that the only place to meet girls at the moment in my area are the local college nightclubs, and I might be tempted to drink or look weird for being there and not consuming anything other than water while everyone else is consuming alcohol. I was thinking that maybe I might come off more responsible if asked why I'm not drinking by just saying I'm the designated driver.
Thank you all again for the kind responses and support.
I'm just scared that the only place to meet girls at the moment in my area are the local college nightclubs, and I might be tempted to drink or look weird for being there and not consuming anything other than water while everyone else is consuming alcohol. I was thinking that maybe I might come off more responsible if asked why I'm not drinking by just saying I'm the designated driver.
Thank you all again for the kind responses and support.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Maybe it would make your mind easier if you committed to a period of time without dating, it'd take the pressure off. In my experience I was so emotionally all over the place getting sober that it wouldn't have been responsible of me to try and meet anyone. Staying single for a bit while you get to know the new sober you is no bad thing x
x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 3
I'm not referring to dating immediately right now, but just when I do in the future I'm scared of that situation. However, I'm really proud of myself because a friend of mine came over last night with a joint, and even though I was extremely tempted, I didn't touch it. Also, I'm at 62 hours sober from booze now and today is officially one week since I haven't touched pot .
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