elp19744

I have been sober now for 16 days. It hasn't been easy however after joining this site last night I feel more at peace with my disease. I also feel as though it has helped me to share and open up about the extent of my drinking. I am a functioning alcoholic, which for me means, that people see a heavy social drinker who can still appear put together. But the reality was that whenever I could find a moment alone or manufacture a reason to be alone I would put as much alcohol into my system as I could in whatever time I had. For example if I had a moment alone in the kitchen I would chug three glasses of wine before filling up my "socially acceptable" glass. If I went to the liquor store I would by mini flasks of vodka and whiskey to stash around the house just to make sure that I would get the "sufficient" buzz that I needed to augment whatever small amount I was drinking with my wife. In the last few months before I decided to make a change I would even chug 3 glasses of wine before I worked out (3 pm) and suck on toothpaste or eat olives to cover the stink. All of this is bad for sure but it gets worse because I also kept large bottles of vodka hidden in the garage.

It feels good to put what I hid in the shadows out in the open. I'm going to send my wife this link so she can understand the extent of my problem. When she reads this its important for her to know that I never drove drunk and I was never wasted by myself with the kids (perhaps my only redeeming feature).

artsoul

It really is a relief when we don't have to hide anymore, isn't it? All that plotting and planning, worrying about what others are thinking, trying not to let on that we're hungover...... just to call ourselves functional! I'm so glad we don't have to do that anymore!

Congratulations on your 16 days - you're off to a great start!