Fadedjeans

Its always early in the morning. She stays awake through the night drinking then when early morning comes she comes by looking out of it. I tell her she needs to go home and sleep for a few hours and we can talk. Somhow an argument always happens with her storming off and me feeling like its my fault. She just left again storming off. I woke up an hour ago, she hasnt slept yet. Ive asked her not to come over like this for the last 11 months but she hasnt stopped so there is no stop in sight. I had to come write here of else just break down. Im getting dressed and taking my dog down to the coffee shop to shake this off and try to enjoy my saturday. thanks.

Seren

I'm sorry to say that there is an end in sight...it's when you stop letting her in at 6 a.m. The choice of how long this continues is yours.

I hope your day will turn around and that you will be able to get some rest later. Enjoy your coffee!

janiebluebird

Don't let that ruin your day. She is out of it after drinking all night and its not really "her" that you are talking to, per say. When people are that drunk they have no idea what they are doing, much of the time at least. Don't open the door next time- there is really no point. How does she get to you in that state anyway?

kthopkt

Sounds like she is doing more than drinking.

Fadedjeans

If you mean emotionally. I havnt put my finger on it. Im probably so upset already when I hear her knocking and yelling to open the door that when she is inside my mind is gone. She gets to my physically by walking around the gate to my side of the building. We live in apartments in the same building.

Fadedjeans

Ya the staying up all night probably has you feeling she is doing more than drinking but she isnt. I dont know the reason for her staying up all night other than she has put on a buzz early in the evening and likes to keep it going.

dollydo

Trust me when I say you don't know what she is really doing.

Take some time to read the stickeys at the top of this and the Family & Friends of Substance Abusers Forum, plus cynical one's blog, lot of helpful information at your fingertips.

AnvilheadII

can I ask you frankly what are you getting OUT of this arrangement?? you've allowed this "unacceptable" behavior for 11 months now?

she won't stop acting out just cuz you say so. you will have to do something different to enforce YOUR boundaries. unless this is ok with you.

I too have to agree that there is probably more than "just" drinking going on.

Justfor1

Without jumping to conclusions and say, for sure, it is a possibility that she is doing a stimulant type drug to keep her awake at night. Drunks will pass out by 6AM while those using other substance can stay awake. One thing for sure is that she needs help fast.

Fadedjeans

I want the person whom i had shared great moments with the first two years we went out to come back. Im going to need to do alot of reading on here and learn the way to approach her that will not rattle her. Then Im gong to take the above advice and just not answer the door again in the early morning.

LexieCat

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but nothing you do is likely to make "the person whom i had shared great moments with the first two years we went out to come back." We just don't have that kind of power over alcoholism.

So, bearing in mind that you can't change HER, what can you do to change YOUR life for the better? Are you going to wait around and continue to put up with this kind of B.S. for the months, years, or decades it may take for her to see the light? Bearing in mind, of course, that she may NEVER see the light?

Or is your life worth more than that?

You don't live with her, you don't have children together, you have an emotional enmeshment with someone who is very sick and showing no signs of wanting to stop. Having "great moments" two years ago seems to be a pretty meager basis for putting yourself through all this.

choublak

Do you let her in even if you have to go to work in the morning?