dessy

Starting to hate AH when he drunk. He getting so verbally abusive and angry. Everything is my fault of course. He goes to see a alcohol counsilor weekly now though. He was going good but is in lots of pain due to injury so drinks to lessen this.

The other night he so drunk he passed out in shower. I use to help this time left him there and turned off the water though as we have tank water. His depression and anxiety is getting better I just pray when he gets his operation his pain lessens and the drinking.
he is detoxing before operation. Just fed up. Sic of him thinking I'm just shunting about his drinking. I try not to be codependent but I organise and do everything and I don't want to lose everything just because he has to drink.
tells me I'm a liar cause I said he was stuck with me for life. That was 23yrs ago. He isn't that person anymore even when not drinking. Hard to keep staying.

redatlanta

i wish I could tell you that I thought things would get better once he has his surgery - but addiction is driven by addiction not by pain or the lack of it even though he may be numbing some sensation in the process.

The reality is alcoholism is progressive and he will continue to get worse unless he maked the decision to change. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to stop him. What you can do is get help for yourself in stopping co-dependent and enabling behavior. Codies and enablers are usually as sick as the people they are enabling. By stopping this behavior you may (or may not) have an influence on your husbands drinking - what you will do by recovering from the behavior is take back the power in your own life which has been lost to his alcoholism.

Have you tried al- anon? I also suggest reading Co-dependent no more by Melanie Beattie.

Stick around here and post often - educate yourself about alcoholism. There is a way out of this situation, it doesn't have to be your life anymore if you don't want it (and why would you)?

Redheadsusie

My AH always had an injury that was his reason to drink........had the back fixed.....still drank- had the hip replaced at 46 still drank - always some new pain and always still drinking. I got off the merry go round.... the verbal abuse and the anger spewed at me was unbearable finally. They will try to guilt you into staying and it works - at least it did for me for a while- took me 6 times of kicking has ass out to be done. You have to figure what you can really live with. Life is short and you are worth more! Hugs~

LadySage

My AH had an injury that really deepened his drinking game. He got to add in pain pills at that point too. It was a mess. I liked to remind him that he only had a knee issue and that I had recovered from surgery, child birth and many tooth pulling s without pain meds.

Don't think injuries are a good excuse!

BoxinRotz

BTDT with neck surgery and pain pills sloshed down with vodka and being called a liar cuz he didn't get his pain pills! (had to hide them so he didn't kill himself on a massive overdose!) Dude... You just swallowed it 20 minutes ago! SHUT UP til it kicks in! I need another one! I'm in pain! The dr told me I could have one every time I felt a pain! Oh no he didn't! Hush it!

I remember those days horribly! Hope to never have to go through another one (with pain pills) since he's decided he's not going to sober up. OMG...

Justfor1

An alcoholic should not have access to any pain pills. They should have to rely on prescription ibuprofin or aspirin. It is just too dangerous mixing with booze. To the OP, does his Dr. know he mixing both?

Birdgurl

Mixing pain pills and alcohol is deadly. The coroner's report came back in November and it was a BAC of .17 and vicoden that killed my fiancée back in July. He just never woke up.