Cait777

Hi all. So I had been doing good, had almost twenty days. And then of course convinced myself last Friday that the problem was solved. I proceeded to go on a all-day six day binger. This resulted in several terrible things, such as breaking my laptop, spilling red wine all over my new apartment, missing two days of work, missing a whole week of outpatient, and, worst of all, making my parents feel horrible... Again. I stopped drinking Wednesday during the day and have been experiencing the WORST hangover ever. I puked all day Thursday, couldn't even keep down a sip of water. Today I felt better but my chest and throat are extremely sore and tight from all the puking. I'm also still afraid to chug water, even tho I really want to. I just feel like this nightmare will never end, my brain is just wired to convince myself over and over that I can control it this time. I feel so low =(

Anna

I'm sorry that you're feeling down, but alcoholism isn't a problem that gets solved. It's an ongoing journey and accepting that drinking is never an option. Good for you for having 20 days sober. You can do it again, and keep on going.

Coldfusion

Cait, you really need to drink some water.

Others will probably say to get medical advice, but I think you need more than that and would recommend a few days in detox, ASAP.

justme2013

Cait,

Hang in there and don't give up. 20 days is awesome. Get back to the mindset that got you that far. Im rooting for you! Feel better, get some water in you and rest.

Pat

LizG

Congratulations on 20 days! Keep going!

Hevyn

Cait - sometime we need further proof that we really can't touch the stuff. I sure did. Maybe you're ready now to avoid it at all costs. Thinking we can somehow control or manage it is just a fantasy.

You had almost 20 days - that isn't lost! Just continue where you left off. You can do it, Cait.

Pondlady

Maybe try a few popsicles? Might feel good to your throat and give you a little hydration.

RocketQueen

I dont know if they have them where you are but here you can get stuff here called Hydrolyte, which is designed for those with gastro or diarrhea to rehydrate the body. You can get them in popsicle form or as a drink. It contains lots of electrolytes which are essential for recovery. Gatorade is good for rehydration too. Failing that, PLEASE try and get some water into you. If you are still vomiting, its better to throw up liquid than it is to throw up nothing at all.

Good luck and keep us posted

RQ

Dee74

welcome back Cait

many of us faltered a time or two - it's not the end of the race...it's just the first hurdle.

Pick yourself up and try and work out what you need to add to make those 20 days into 20 years

D

FlowersJasmine

Hang there Cait. Glad that you have already started the journey - 20 days is good progress, go for detox and please make sure you take in some water.

773niki

Ugh, I know the feeling. Believe me, I think I posted this exact same feeling 4 months ago and if i can get 4 months, ANYONE can. I drank all day everyday for years with short, little periods of dry spells in between.

I immersed myself in AA and it's helped me alot. May be worth a try?

Try eating ice...sleeping if you can...take a few tylenol pms maybe so you can sleep if you're insomniatic. Eat some candy - sugars helped me alot.

Good luck!

Midlifecrisis

I'm so sorry. I can relate: all we can do is pick oiraleves up again hey!

CharlieNoogan

At the end, I would experience the same kind of hangovers/detoxes that you are. All day sickness without being able to keep water down for more than 10-15 minutes before puking. And that consisted of the water I would desperately be drinking and nasty bile. One of these episodes caused me to lose my voice for about 6 weeks...

It sounds like you are through the worst of it. Please make sure you get some light food down. Applesauce, saltines, milk, toast with butter, chicken noodle soup, etc. Once my body recognized food was going in, the fluids started to stick. Your blood sugar levels are probably quite low, but these things will help. For me, I was eventually able to get Gatorade down and it helped a lot. A couple of days later, my appetite always returned with a vengeance.

My last run like yours was right before Memorial Day 2012. I detoxed in an apartment that had no air conditioning and it was 95 degrees F and humid as all get out. One of the worst experiences ever. When I get a craving now, I think of that horrid weekend and it keeps me on track!

I hope you are feeling better soon, and please take care of yourself. If you think you need to go to the hospital, do it!

Louise82

Cait, I did a very similar thing recently. I had 21 days and thought I would be ok drinking for one night. Of course, that "one night" turned into 2 weeks. I'm only now back on Day 14 but I feel better than I did during my first attempt because now I recognize the triggers, what really drives my cravings and my alcoholic thinking. I find that the more I understand danger, the easier it is to avoid it.

I back 773niki's recommendation of ice cubes. I've also found that just starting out with small sips of water and building up from there has helped me in the past.

Cait777

Hi guys. Thanks for all the responses and all the support, I mean it. I slept like sixteen hours last night and feel much better. Nauseou seems to be gone, chest and throat pain have Diminished a lot. I just feel really weak now, which is think is from not eating for the past like five days (no duh). I'm going for a banana now. As painful as this experience was Physically, I still feel 100 times more terrible about the way I've treated others. I know the only thing I can really do to fix that is actually get sober but damn just knowing it will get better sometimes doesn't cut it

WhatamIdoing21

Glad you are feeling a bit better today Cait. I like what your original post said about your brain being wired to convince you that you can drink under control this time. That is exactly what it is like for many of us and the great thing for me was to finally recognize that. That alone helped me to stop listening to that voice ... "eventually". It took awhile ... lots of falls along the way but finally it made sense to me and could stay away. I also felt bad about what I put others through. That again is my brain certainly telling me some truths about my drinking but when it came to my brain torturing me over it ... hmmm, that I also recognized as my re-wired brain trying to hook me in and convince me to drink to escape those ugly thoughts. And than the whole ugly process started all over again. My brain seemed to revel in keeping me feeling like crap ... it was easier to get me to liquor store that way.

Have another "One Day" today and come back and let us know what else your brain is telling you.