mareahh

My ABF graduated his first phase in his substance abuse program. I'm very proud of him. He seems to be happier. Although he's in jail. He has been clean for 3 months now . He is now in phase 2 of the program. 1 down 3 to go!

lightseeker

that's great about your abf who is in jail.

You know my real concern is for you and what you are doing for yourself. Until I learned to put the focus on myself I knew that my world was hanging on how he was doing.

I always have tried to work the program that I wished that my ex would work. It helped me to be ok no matter what happened in his life.

mareahh

I'm actually doing well. I am back in school. I have a great job. Just bought a new car and a house. I'm 26 years old. I'm very focused on me and my life goals. He is well aware of that. I'm supportive of him and the good decisions he's making. Do I plan on sticking around if he gets out of jail and goes right back to drugs? No way. This girl doesn't have "idiot" across her face. There is NOTHING I can do to help him or change his life style. That it completely up to him. No matter how much I love or care about him. It won't change him. It's got to be his choice and he and I both know that. I'm very proud of myself. I read some of the post people put on here and I feel bad for how codependent they are. In the beginning I was being a codie. But as soon as one of my peers pointed it out. I put a stop to that. I refuse to get caught up in the lies and traps active addicts can suck u into. He's a grown man and can make his own decisions. If he chooses to do things right then he can prove that to me and maybe our relationship will continue to grow. But until then..I'm at a distance watching and waiting.

dollydo

I like your attitude. When an addict is in jail, it is hard to tell whether they really want soberity or not. Once he is out and not in a controlled enviornment, it will be easy to tell whether he is sincere or not. Most will go to meetings when they first get out, if they start to slack off the meetings, it is red flag. Watch his actions, forget his words.

Take care of you!

mareahh

Will do. Thank you!