Del

Hi there,I'm just off yet another lash of alcohol,I really need to give up!!!!
I have tried before but obviously that didnt go well,i would appreciate any help.
Feel so so low and angry with myself

Received

Hi Del.

Yeah, drinking filled me with such self loathing and disgust. I noticed in one of your earlier post you mentioned needing to get back to meetings. That may be a very good start.

Sitting around and stewing in our misery is a recipe for repeating that which we can't stand in ourselves, namely for me, drinking.

Nonsensical

Don't beat yourself up too badly. I don't know anyone who succeeded the first time they tried to quit. I sure didn't. or the second or third or fifty-fifth...

Seems we need to prove to ourselves unequivocally that drinking has no place in our lives.

Back on the wagon, mate. You can do this!

Del

Yes I was at meetings and enjoyed them,but unfortunately I didn't stay at them and now I'm back worse than before.
I honestly don't think people understand what it's really like to not want to drink but then still drink??? It's very hard to explain
Thanks for reply

Received

lol. Uhm, you do realize you're on a recovery forum, right? I think ALL of us here clearly understand not wanting to drink but still drinking.

Del

Lol sorry I meant people without a drinking problem.....they all just say give it a break for a while,go for a walk instead etc etc still smiling at the comment though thanks

ricmcc

I entered into recovery last March, so I am still quite new at this, but it is coming up to a year sober, so I am happy of that. When I decided that I needed to stop drinking, I set down and planned a plan of recovery, such as how many AA ( AA in my case, there are other very effective programs) I could reasonably expect myself to attend weekly, 3 in my case, as I attend other meetings, and so far I have stuck to that schedule. I also sought out every conceivable support that my community had to offer, and used them; for me, support is essential. Anyway, this has been working for me so far, and I must say getting sober has been well worth the effort (an understatement if ever there was one ). As it happens, I turned 56 today, and can quite honestly say that I feel younger than I did 5 years ago; really. Hope that this post is of some value to you, but as people vary, just find the approach that works for you, stick to it, and get sober. I should mention that a lot of honest soul searching was required for me, and that it has helped me greatly. I also have to always remember that while getting sober is the initial goal, maintianing my sobriety is an ongoing process. Welcome to SR, there is lots of support here, and lots of good people who know what they are talking about, and who have helped me greatly. Best of luck to you in your search for sobriety---rick

Del

Hi Ric,thank you so much
I know I need to DO rather than talk or write,but I know in time I will,I need to get to meetings,but have a few problems surrounding driving at the moment,get myself in more trouble....
But I will set out a plan and get bus/train timetables also,this forum is helping me greatly at the minute as well though

Congrats on your sober time, Del Happy Birthday

Tammy47

Welcome Del. I'm fairly new here myself. (couple of weeks). This site has been a life save, in helping me remain drink free. As discussed above, its so supportive from like minded people. Best wishes x

Dee74

Welcome Del

It takes a lot of doing to embrace a new life and new choices - many's the time I knew what I should do but fear, anger, boredom, apathy - you name it - pushed me back to the bottle.

Even with all the trouble it bought me I still saw that as an easy option against the terrors of the unknown sobriety.

In the end, if you want change, you need to make that leap...it would be fin, it might even be uncomfortable, but so's our drinking life.

There's not chance back going back again the way we came - by moving ahead you at least give your self and your future a fighting chance.

I really like be able to look myself in the eyes in the mirror again

D

Hevyn

Pleased to meet you, Del! We're so glad to have you aboard. SR is a great place for encouragement and support.

Del

Thank you so much everyone,support is amazing
The fog is lifting a little not so down,angry,self loathing as I was the last 3 days.
What scares me is when I'm really better,I think it's ok then AGAIN to drink?????
Pretty weird and selfish thinking...but then again in all other aspects of my life I know deep down I'm not selfish,hope that makes sense?

I am honestly glad I found this outlet,seems it will help,maybe it's a sign....hope it is anyway

Del

Hey Tammy thanks as well well done on your amazing couple of weeks!!!!! See your also from the green isle hope we stay sober and look back at these messages with smiles of sobriety... I'll keep posting anyway its working so far,fingers crossed....
Best of luck to you also

Anna

We do understand how really difficult this is.

I hope you make the decision that drinking is no longer an option. There is lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.

Del

Thank you also Anna,as I've said it is hard but my drinking/hangovers/lost days are a lot harder...had a little disagreement today,first thought?? A drink; but I didn't which is v good for me....
I am honestly going to put my all into this!!
I always dream of what it's like to live sober.....for my daughter also,she's only 7 makes me so sad to think,if I don't stop what it will do to her life as well as mine
If I stop now I just might have the slightest chance that she will be ok???

firstweek

Del, I've started a little incentive plan for myself and himself when I am 90 days sober. Everyday this week I put away in a little savings box the money I would have spent on wine....in Holland your average bottle is a fiver....I now have 20 quid in one week! Maybe get a little savings box and put the few bob away so you can treat your daughter after 90 days or whatever your personal target is....I honestly don't know if I'm going to get there but I think the bit of discipline might help? Good luck!

Del

Hi FW yes that's a good plan my start off is 8 beers(about 12 euro) and then I go again for at least another 8 if I don't pass out ill go again,that's usually the case at home.my estimate is about 30 euro a night,at least 4 nights....120 euro a week!! Wow first time I realised that???? And to be honest if i go to a pub?? Can't even make out how I was affording it all along???
My daughter has most material things...not good enough,I need to spend time with her,ya know? She wants me really there not just in body but in mind also.
She hasn't been anywhere with me in a long long time...im talking small little treats like the cinema,swimming etc,I just buy her something to cover my guilt,sorry if I'm ranting a bit.
Its just so nice to be able to get everything out,especially to someone who understands
Thank you