kizzie

Really glad to find this section of the forum. I bought RR three years ago and started to read it, but ended up getting sober on my own mid-2010 for a little over 2 years. Recently, after 4 months indulging my Beast (as I now know it to be) I went back to a few program meetings but found myself even more strongly resistant to some of the basic tenets than I was last time. I remembered RR and picked it back up, getting further than the somewhat preachy (ironic lol) introduction this time. By chapter 4 I knew AVRT was the right approach for me. I haven't had a drink in a week and though I've had some tough moments (and know there will be more), I feel I already have the basic tools to get control of the urge.

I guess that was my long winded way of saying Hi

Impurrfect

((Kizzie)) my "recovery program" consists of a lot of things..some I learned in AA, lots I learned here at SR, including AVRT.

Congratulations on a week!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

freshstart57

Hi backatcha, Kizzie. Glad you found us. Hope you keep posting!

jkb

I agree about the intro..lol. Glad you found us... AVRT is amazing.

justme2013

I'm also very happy to have learned about AVRT. I'm on day 2 and trying to read as much as I can in these forums. It helps a lot to read so many similar stories. I'm very much a "functioning alcoholic" so the AV is constantly nagging about how it's not a problem. But the reality is, while I used to be a lively and engaging drunk, in recent years I preferred to sit around and get 'faced by myself. I'd even go to a bar alone to do it. And one was never enough. Typically 8-10 drinks to a sitting. Sounds like a problem to me, functioning or not!
Anyway, one thing I don't fully get about the AVRT philosophy is the notion that we shouldn't count how many days we have sober. Does anyone here have insight on that? Do you all not count how many days/weeks, months? I get that not counting makes the role of alcohol in our lives less significant, as it should be, but I can't help but think that counting builds confidence as we go.
As I'm writing this, I'm starting to grasp the concept a bit more. Gotta think it through. Sorry for rambling... Have a good day!

freshstart57

Here is my take on the day counting business as seen through AVRT. Someone who has quit drinking, has quit. Period. They aren't any 'quittier' if they quit a month ago or a year ago. Quit is quit. So that also means that in a group of people, there is not one person who is the 'quittiest'.

There be some fine AV right there, JustMe, I feel, and here is why I feel that way. There is a definition of AV which is understood to be any thought of ever drinking again. It also includes the idea of doubt in one's ability to stay sober, because that paves the way for those more obvious thoughts of drinking again. So, that is what I perceive in your statement, that your AV is telling you to doubt your ability to stay sober unless you are sober for XX days or months or years or whatever.

Does it get easier as time goes on? For me, absolutely, but the degree of difficulty never entered into my decision to no longer drink. I was going to do this no matter what.

The basic instructions for AVRT are very simple: Assign all thoughts of drinking and doubt in one's ability to the Beast, and set your confidence level all the way up to 11.

Believe you have got this, JustMe, believe in yourself. It is important for your sobriety, and even better, it just feels good. You are a good person who deserves a sober life, and you are smart and strong and you will have it. No matter what.

Onward!

freshstart57

Here is another idea that occurred to me. Consider this - When I was drinking heavily, I was in a prison, I was a slave. Now I am free. Do I count how long since I was released? Does that make me feel more secure in my freedom? Am I less likely to go back to being a slave the longer I am out?

I think most who have done time count their time in prison instead. So this translates to me as - I drank for 35 years but I don't drink anymore - I quit.

One more thought - what does your Big Plan say? Keep that in mind, and things get a lot simpler.

justme2013

Thanks, freshstart. Great insight and what you say makes a lot of sense. Took me a minute to follow, but I got it.
It's interesting to me that the first few days sober, AV was very loud and overt, and kind of easy to shut up, but I can see now that the thought patterns are a lot more subtle and subversive.
Made it through Friday and Saturday night and actually had a great time cooking meals, watching movies and drinking seltzer <burp>
Thanks for the support, SR!

jkb

Hi Justme2013-
I understand what you are saying about counting time. I dont sit and dwell on days or weeks but, I am aware of when I quit drinking. I believe it says in the book let the beast count days. When my beast is extremely active I do allow the thought that "I have already been sober for such and such amount of time". I just dont allow it to become "I have been sober such and such amount of time so lets celebrate".
I am very knew to this though, as you know, so I may get told I am wrong on this which is ok by me.... For me I feel good that I made the decision to quit and no matter what I will stick by that decision... The day I decided that was a BIG day for me and I doubt I will "forget" it any time soon. Just my thoughts.... Jess

markinsf

jkb - that brings up an interesting point. To me the Big Day was the day I finalized my Big Plan and not necessarily the day I took my last drink. To me the day I finalized my Big Plan is more important and that day I won't forget. Granted they were only separated by a couple of days. Still, a lot of people in here do count days and it's kind of hard to avoid all the references. Maybe it's something someone new to this (as I am) just needs to get used to?

jkb

How different we all are...Markinsf (one of my favorite cities and home of my losing-the-SB-49ers ) but anyway back to the point. My last drink is a moment I cannot forget.. it was qute drastic in a way so I keep it close at hand to pull back up when I feel the need. I would be interested to see how others with long term RR feel about this. I dont make it any condition of my sobriety it is just a thought that sticks with me. When I made my BP, which now getting further into the book I see he says is NOT a condition of using AVRT, I felt like the moment I had my last drink the BP wa made... not on paper etc... but that was it. I hope that makes sense. If you see AV in that point it out please...Jess

markinsf

I guess for me it was different. I did a self tapering approach as I had been pounding down 750 ml of booze per day and couldn't just quit cold turkey. So during the last 5 days of my drinking career I was taking the drinks strictly as medicine and not for the effect. My last drink was somewhat unspectacular as it was a 1/2 oz shot taken to knock down a spike in my bp as that was something I was monitoring very closely during my tapering off. Who knows.

I have a lot of work learning some of the devious methods of my AV. Yesterday it just did an all out attack which was easy enough to identify. My problem was that I got into a discussion with it - a mistake I won't make again. What I did find was that to finally beat it back I had to recite my Big Plan several times to shut down my AV. So in that regards, at least for me, having the Big Plan was invaluable. I had it to fall back on as I sure wasn't winning the argument with my AV prior to that. The lesson of course is don't get into an argument with AV.

sf # San Franciso. Though I have been there several times and it is a wonderful place to visit, it would not be my first choice of a place to live. I'm a small town guy and always will be.

(edited for typos)