Behavior that Goes with Excessive Drinking?
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 57
Behavior that Goes with Excessive Drinking?
I'm hoping it's the drinking that is responsible for the behavior but then maybe it isn't. Maybe he's just defensive,always thinks hes right,disrespectful of women,borderline racist if that's possible, negative know it all.
I keep telling myself if he ever admits to having a problem and gets help , these other traits will disappear ? I can't tell which cam first like the chicken and the egg.
Last night he said I'm not going to drink ( heard that before) and go to bed when you do since he slept late day before and napped form the drinking the night before. Of course then he drank 4 beers and numerous shots of Whiskey,
got argumentative , because I refused to send my dog to his sons room, ( she doesn't like the kid he holds her to tight and thinks its funny when she squeals when her hair is tugged. The dog jumps up on ABF and he pushes her down saying I wont pet you since you won"t go to my sons room, I say she doesn't want to shes afraid of him. he says "IM STAYING UP ALL NIGHT NOW" I must me NUTS to put up with this...
Who behaves like this .
I keep telling myself if he ever admits to having a problem and gets help , these other traits will disappear ? I can't tell which cam first like the chicken and the egg.
Last night he said I'm not going to drink ( heard that before) and go to bed when you do since he slept late day before and napped form the drinking the night before. Of course then he drank 4 beers and numerous shots of Whiskey,
got argumentative , because I refused to send my dog to his sons room, ( she doesn't like the kid he holds her to tight and thinks its funny when she squeals when her hair is tugged. The dog jumps up on ABF and he pushes her down saying I wont pet you since you won"t go to my sons room, I say she doesn't want to shes afraid of him. he says "IM STAYING UP ALL NIGHT NOW" I must me NUTS to put up with this...
Who behaves like this .
You won't know what's the alcohol and what's not until he stops drinking and works at recovery, which you know is entirely his decision.
I felt the same about my XABF -- "if only...then maybe..." -- but ultimately I had to make my decision on the person I had in front of me, who drank, was rude, and didn't care about anyone but himself. I decided that no matter how hard it was to be by myself, I was not going to invest my time and effort into someone's potential when their actual was just one turn-off after another!
I felt the same about my XABF -- "if only...then maybe..." -- but ultimately I had to make my decision on the person I had in front of me, who drank, was rude, and didn't care about anyone but himself. I decided that no matter how hard it was to be by myself, I was not going to invest my time and effort into someone's potential when their actual was just one turn-off after another!
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 183
From my experience, the behavior/personality of a drunk is just an amplified version of the same person sober. They are who they are but without the inhibitions they are free to let it out. My husband and my sister are both alcoholics.
I stayed with my RAH, and I think that's largely because he was never an ass when he was drinking. He was still a kind person, albeit one who slurred and passed out every day.
I stayed with my RAH, and I think that's largely because he was never an ass when he was drinking. He was still a kind person, albeit one who slurred and passed out every day.
she doesn't like the kid he holds her to tight and thinks its funny when she squeals when her hair is tugged. The dog jumps up on ABF and he pushes her down saying I wont pet you since you won"t go to my sons room, I say she doesn't want to shes afraid of him
ok the above is REALLY troubling....the child already "enjoys" causing pain to defenseless animals and the father encourages that behavior. HUGE.RED.FLAG. and that's not attributed to alcohol, that's a serious sociopathic defect that will not go away if the booze does.
i hope you find your way out of this madness.
ok the above is REALLY troubling....the child already "enjoys" causing pain to defenseless animals and the father encourages that behavior. HUGE.RED.FLAG. and that's not attributed to alcohol, that's a serious sociopathic defect that will not go away if the booze does.
i hope you find your way out of this madness.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 36
From my experience, the behavior/personality of a drunk is just an amplified version of the same person sober. They are who they are but without the inhibitions they are free to let it out. My husband and my sister are both alcoholics.
I stayed with my RAH, and I think that's largely because he was never an ass when he was drinking. He was still a kind person, albeit one who slurred and passed out every day.
I stayed with my RAH, and I think that's largely because he was never an ass when he was drinking. He was still a kind person, albeit one who slurred and passed out every day.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 57
The kid is a good kid, What I think is going on is he wants attention from the dad, well that got attention he was told to stop by the dad. The AB said that to me not in front of the kid later on about petting the dog ( and he was toasted)
Its all about getting any kind of attention from the DAD I think, since hes too busy to be bothered by the kids.
The dog will bite him if he continues to do it and I had a talk with the boy.
Again back to dear old dad.
I told that part of the story to reinforce what a baby he is, they are animal lovers, not abusers. How ever If I see it ever again, I will go off.
Everyone has issues because of this man when he drinks.
If the kid has to resort to negative attention just to get a reaction from this man. Sad
Its all about getting any kind of attention from the DAD I think, since hes too busy to be bothered by the kids.
The dog will bite him if he continues to do it and I had a talk with the boy.
Again back to dear old dad.
I told that part of the story to reinforce what a baby he is, they are animal lovers, not abusers. How ever If I see it ever again, I will go off.
Everyone has issues because of this man when he drinks.
If the kid has to resort to negative attention just to get a reaction from this man. Sad
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 57
Well my business is run out of the home, I have alot of money tied up into that, to relocate this will take time,I'm checking into options but to move it here and get it all set up took me 7 months.
So its a waiting game unfortunately. I have learned to disengage with the AB. No need to feed the frenzy.
So its a waiting game unfortunately. I have learned to disengage with the AB. No need to feed the frenzy.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. And does it really matter whether it's his personality or the alcohol? Either way, the behavior is affecting you and your family, and either way it will be very difficult/a long process to see which it is, i.e. he would have to get sober and healthy before you knew for sure.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 57
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. And does it really matter whether it's his personality or the alcohol? Either way, the behavior is affecting you and your family, and either way it will be very difficult/a long process to see which it is, i.e. he would have to get sober and healthy before you knew for sure.
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Just because we stop drinking doesn,t mean we will deal with all of our defects.
QUOTE=italiungrl;3823870]I'm hoping it's the drinking that is responsible for the behavior but then maybe it isn't. Maybe he's just defensive,always thinks hes right,disrespectful of women,borderline racist if that's possible, negative know it all.
I keep telling myself if he ever admits to having a problem and gets help , these other traits will disappear ? I can't tell which cam first like the chicken and the egg.
Last night he said I'm not going to drink ( heard that before) and go to bed when you do since he slept late day before and napped form the drinking the night before. Of course then he drank 4 beers and numerous shots of Whiskey,
got argumentative , because I refused to send my dog to his sons room, ( she doesn't like the kid he holds her to tight and thinks its funny when she squeals when her hair is tugged. The dog jumps up on ABF and he pushes her down saying I wont pet you since you won"t go to my sons room, I say she doesn't want to shes afraid of him. he says "IM STAYING UP ALL NIGHT NOW" I must me NUTS to put up with this...
Who behaves like this .[/QUOTE]
Just because we stop drinking doesn,t mean we will deal with all of our defects.
QUOTE=italiungrl;3823870]I'm hoping it's the drinking that is responsible for the behavior but then maybe it isn't. Maybe he's just defensive,always thinks hes right,disrespectful of women,borderline racist if that's possible, negative know it all.
I keep telling myself if he ever admits to having a problem and gets help , these other traits will disappear ? I can't tell which cam first like the chicken and the egg.
Last night he said I'm not going to drink ( heard that before) and go to bed when you do since he slept late day before and napped form the drinking the night before. Of course then he drank 4 beers and numerous shots of Whiskey,
got argumentative , because I refused to send my dog to his sons room, ( she doesn't like the kid he holds her to tight and thinks its funny when she squeals when her hair is tugged. The dog jumps up on ABF and he pushes her down saying I wont pet you since you won"t go to my sons room, I say she doesn't want to shes afraid of him. he says "IM STAYING UP ALL NIGHT NOW" I must me NUTS to put up with this...
Who behaves like this .[/QUOTE]
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