Newcomer trying to figure out how to kick a replacement addiction to alcohol...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5
Newcomer trying to figure out how to kick a replacement addiction to alcohol...
Hey,
I've spent time at meetings and after a lot of time and effort managed to get away from my compulsive use of my DOC (ketamine).
Alas I've been drinking daily for the last few years and it's at the point now that I'm seeing I'm hurting myself. My tolerance is high and I can crack a mickey and drink it and then be walking around looking for more. It's getting expensive and clearly taxing on my body.
I just took a minute to calculate how much I spent on alcohol - I spent $570 in the last 30 days. I can't believe that. My wife drank some of that I'm sure.
I'm fully functional right now but looking a bit tired lately. Better than when I was using my DOC which was a binge and recover type of pattern where I would get really messed up and insane.
Alcohol I don't binge too hard. I just drink constantly. I've noticed I've been drinking earlier in the day when my wife isn't around (ie as soon as I wake up) and lately I haven't been able to get in more than 5 hours of sleep. I wake up wide awake and suddenly about 5am even when not drinking too heavily now. I'm obviously messing with my gaba system.
I don't really know what to do. My wife isn't very supportive of me not drinking/smoking. She calls me boring which is crazy especially because she knows I'm an addict. I was to NA etc. I've only relapsed with that once since the summer which is about the best I've ever done. I'd like to pick up at least a one month clean tag but I'm getting drunk every night so that's not on the table until I get this under control.
I don't know how to steer myself away from my patterns and I'm starting to obssess over getting sober while still getting wasted when no one is looking so I'm hoping to find some help here.
Cheers - thanks in advance
-j
I've spent time at meetings and after a lot of time and effort managed to get away from my compulsive use of my DOC (ketamine).
Alas I've been drinking daily for the last few years and it's at the point now that I'm seeing I'm hurting myself. My tolerance is high and I can crack a mickey and drink it and then be walking around looking for more. It's getting expensive and clearly taxing on my body.
I just took a minute to calculate how much I spent on alcohol - I spent $570 in the last 30 days. I can't believe that. My wife drank some of that I'm sure.
I'm fully functional right now but looking a bit tired lately. Better than when I was using my DOC which was a binge and recover type of pattern where I would get really messed up and insane.
Alcohol I don't binge too hard. I just drink constantly. I've noticed I've been drinking earlier in the day when my wife isn't around (ie as soon as I wake up) and lately I haven't been able to get in more than 5 hours of sleep. I wake up wide awake and suddenly about 5am even when not drinking too heavily now. I'm obviously messing with my gaba system.
I don't really know what to do. My wife isn't very supportive of me not drinking/smoking. She calls me boring which is crazy especially because she knows I'm an addict. I was to NA etc. I've only relapsed with that once since the summer which is about the best I've ever done. I'd like to pick up at least a one month clean tag but I'm getting drunk every night so that's not on the table until I get this under control.
I don't know how to steer myself away from my patterns and I'm starting to obssess over getting sober while still getting wasted when no one is looking so I'm hoping to find some help here.
Cheers - thanks in advance
-j
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: mo
Posts: 183
Hey Journ, welcome to SR! I think you are doing a fantastic thing for yourself. You can see the really destructive patterns (drinking early in the day, messing with your sleep, unable to stop) and so you can imagine what happens as it progresses. You will get more sick, and it will get more difficult. Kudos to you for taking the first steps.
Re: your wife and being boring...some of that may be her own defensiveness, not wanting to look at her own drinking habits. About being boring...I worried about the same thing. It's just not true. Once you learn how to live without alcohol, your personality will shine through. You may have to work through social anxieties but the main message is its ok if you aren't exciting all the time. Forgive yourself the nights you feel boring or not social. It's more important that you are a good, loving person, IMHO.
Re: replacement addictions. This is very important. Some folks attend AA meetings as often as possible. I think the new routine of meetings, new friends, and motivation of the groups and step work help change behavior and old routines. I recommend making the necessary changes around your house. Keep out any booze if you can, cut back on sugar, stay away from friends, location and situations that were common to drinking. It's really a process, so be patient with small adjustments and changes. Seek support as much as you can, and document and congratulate yourself for every victory.
Also, I'm not a doctor but I would suggest medical detox if you are drinking this much. Good luck and keep us posted!
Re: your wife and being boring...some of that may be her own defensiveness, not wanting to look at her own drinking habits. About being boring...I worried about the same thing. It's just not true. Once you learn how to live without alcohol, your personality will shine through. You may have to work through social anxieties but the main message is its ok if you aren't exciting all the time. Forgive yourself the nights you feel boring or not social. It's more important that you are a good, loving person, IMHO.
Re: replacement addictions. This is very important. Some folks attend AA meetings as often as possible. I think the new routine of meetings, new friends, and motivation of the groups and step work help change behavior and old routines. I recommend making the necessary changes around your house. Keep out any booze if you can, cut back on sugar, stay away from friends, location and situations that were common to drinking. It's really a process, so be patient with small adjustments and changes. Seek support as much as you can, and document and congratulate yourself for every victory.
Also, I'm not a doctor but I would suggest medical detox if you are drinking this much. Good luck and keep us posted!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: mo
Posts: 183
Also, I drink a lot of coffee and caffeine products. Seems to work ok as a replacement drug. When I feel "itchy" for some sort of drug (mine were alcohol and nicotine) I repeat to myself, "This is what discomfort feels like. This is what discomfort feels like" until the discomfort of wanting a drug passes. I'm very impulsive, so I try to think through the urge and let it pass over me. Recognizing it for what it is helps me, might help you too.
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