zoey09

I have found some meetings in a city near me (I live in a small town). I've thought about going to meetings in the past but there's a lot of negative thoughts in my head that make me apprehensive about going...
1) I have anxiety with meeting new people, in any situation....
2) I don't know what to expect
2) I'm 25 but look young for my age. I feel like people there might judge me based on how young I look ... (& think that I'm not at the point where I need help?) and also that there won't be anyone close to my age range for me to relate with.
I don't know, that might sound crazy, but my low-self esteem, combined with fear of new situations and anxiety are creating all these reasons in my head why I shouldn't go to a meeting.
That being said the number one reason I think I should go is that I've struggled with addiction for about 8 years now, and everything I've tried on my own has not worked....

LexieCat

We have quite a few young people at our meetings.

Here's a link I like to share for those apprehensive about going to their first meeting: What to Expect at Your First AA Meeting. Read it over--it will take a lot of the mystery out of it.

I find AA meetings to be the warmest, friendliest places on earth.

Hope you don't put it off much longer--I found so much relief and hope in those rooms when I was brand new to sobriety.

krisandbeans

It's pretty normal to feel anxious going for the first time. Rest assured, it's an easy hurdle to overcome. AA members will welcome you with open arms. They've seen it all, they've been there, and they want to help you. Let them. And don't worry; you don't have to share your first time if you don't want. You can just listen. But you'll find no judgement in an AA meeting, that I can assure you!

NYRFAN

Hey Zoey, I can definitely relate to a lot of the things that you are worried about. I am 26, and when I first went into the rooms, I felt the same way, especially that people would judge me for being too young, and that I might not really need help. Over the last few years in AA, the number one thing that I hear from others is that they wish that they had came into the rooms when they were my age. Also, AA is the only place I have ever been in my life where you can literally walk up to a total stranger, open up about anything, and (in my experience) 10/10 times they will take the time to truly listen and ge to know you. It really is incredible.

For a long time I would go to meetings, sit in the back, not talk to anyone and leave as soon as it was over. Over that time, I was on and off drinking, and things got really bad. Its definitely uncomfortable at first, but if it was comfortable, then everyone would be able to beat this the first time around! What worked for me was finding someone who I could connect with when they would share, and then after the meeting, just introduce myself, and go from there. Really early on, when i finally reached out, I would literally just introduce myself, and say im new, and dont really know what to do next. People were always willing to help, all I had to do was ask!

I would totally suggest checking it out, it will be much better than you expect. Best of luck!

DAB

People at the meetings are and were just like you. I was just like you and had all those same thoughts. If your experience is anything like mine, you will never meet a more welcoming group of people that are very happy to have you there. You help keep them sober by your presence and when you are ready, by sharing your experience. One of the main things we learn in AA is not to judge, no matter the circumstance, we don't judge. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. We are all about forgiveness.

mfsteve1

You should go. It can be a very rewarding experience. The fear is understandable. We've all been there. You only have to make it through those doors once and then it's easy. There's no judgment. There's no concern with age, status, religion, lifestyle, etc. There is only the desire to get better. AA is the only place I've ever been where everyone is truly equal.

elihoping

Your fear number 3 is what kept me away from AA for years too! Now I'm 31 and I'm jealous of the people who got sober in AA at 22. There's one girl who got sober at 17 and another guy at 15. Pick an evening meeting or one you'll think will be busy and go to that one. Some people might try to speak to you but it's not as scary as you think, I promise.

BruceJ

Yep...just listen for the similarities...ignore the differences.
We've all been there.
I absolutely gets better and you will be glad you started going.

All the best.

sugarbear1

I went to my first meting at the age of 25.

I didn't think I was like those people.

25 years later and I regret not sticking around there.

Are you done drinking, yet?

zoey09

Just noticed that my numbering was a little off, two number twos lol. Oops. Anyways thanks all for the encouragement. Sick with a nasty flu/cold but i'm going to try out a meeting once I'm feeling better

MIRecovery

The only thing I have discovered in my association in AA that sets one alcoholic apart from another is, "How fast an individual crashes and burns." I have seen AAer's crash and burn in their 70's and in their teens. In either case they where full blown alcoholics. Alcohol does not discriminate. Why some manage longer than others I do not have a clue. I do know the longer you are alcoholic the more damage you cause to yourself and loved ones.

Most AA meetings I go to have a mixture of young and old. The Alano club I go to has an active young person's group that schedules all sorts of fun activities for the under 30 crowd.

AA saved my life and for the first time I was surrounded by a group of people that understood what it was like to be me. It simply did not matter if they were 18 or 80 because they knew what it was like to be an alcoholic

Hanna

The first one will be the hardest - just walking in the door.
What you will find is the least judgemental and most welcoming people ever.
Not "in your face" welcoming, but kind and gracious and warm.
No one has any expecations of you in a meeting. And they all know what it feels like to walk in the room the first time. You might be younger than most or you might not, but everyone there was young once, too. They are there to get and stay sober, which doesn't leave time for judging others. Addiction is a great equalizer, that's for sure.

Good luck! Feel better and please keep us updated.

michigansober

Zoey I have extremely high anxiety and this was was what was suggested to me while in a recovery center.. The Dr suggested that I when I went to my nightly A.A. meeting that I talk to at least 5 people either before or after the meeting and after the two weeks in treatment I would be over my anxiety!. Just a get quick get to know them conversation. At first I said to myself it could not be done and that this Dr does not understand my level of anxiety. But I had nothing to lose and took him up on his advice. Was it tough? Of couse. Was I nervous? Highly! Was it Impossible? NO! I talked with complete strangers over that two wk span and found that it did get much easier. I had always worried about what others might think about me or how I looked but none of that matters. In my conversations some people would actually say "wow I am so glad you talked to me first I was so nervous". And here I was thinking that I was the only one with some fear of social settings! I had to really do a lot of getting honest with myself also and now today I do not have a fear of going to meetings or speaking like I would have had just 32 days ago!