Caravagio

Double figures...hurray! I've just finished a full day at work and usually would ask 'who wants to go for a drink?'. It momentarily crossed my mind and then I pushed the thought away. This was a roomful of strangers and being in the arts it's not unusual to go and have a drink with people you've been creative with all day. But I realise something now. It wasn't the people I wanted to spend more time with it was because I wanted to have a drink. Being sober is showing me what some of my patterns or rather triggers are. If I'm honest...I have a lot of triggers...almost anything. Feeling good, feeling bad or indifferent seems to encompass all of my triggers. Knowing that over these 10 days I've managed to deal with these triggers shows me that I am capable of changing and sometimes it's easy and other times it ain't. That's where my regular posts here keep me focused and act as a reminder that I'm doing good x

BCS

I know what you mean. It feels good to make progress with sobriety, but sometimes I can't take my mind off the drink. It's becoming very frustrating.

Congrats on your first day in double digits! Keep on truckin'

Tammy47

Well done Caravagio. Yes, the site is helping me too (its my new addiction), instead of reaching for the wine, I'm reaching for lap top and lose myself in SR for the evening. I too, BCS am thinking so much about drinking/not drinking (hopefully this passes as its mind blowing).

freshstart57

It helped me to stop and become really aware of what the heck exactly I was thinking about, not just getting pulled along by the internal story line. Becoming aware of my thoughts, even describing them as they occurred, allowed me to put some space around them. I know some people just take a pen and paper and start to write the thoughts out and become mindful that way, but there are all sorts of different ways to achieve the same thing.

Once I understood that nothing bad happens when I get an urge to drink, the whole element of fear and panic disappeared and I could see much more clearly what was happening. My drinking habit was trying to tell me things that weren't true, things like I needed a drink, I deserved a drink, I will only have a couple, I will quit tomorrow, and so on.. Sound familiar?

My drinking habit was starting to realize that it couldn't make me drink anymore, and that it really didn't have the power to do anything. It was done, finished. My last drink was now 18 months ago - it really was my last drink.

You can do this too, Caravagio. Compared to the drinking every day as you do, this is easy.

Spinach

...and during this week you get two weeks and day 15.
Keep on.
John

Caravagio

Thank you freshstart57. It is all too familiar.