My first post--My husband is addicted to pain pills and I'm going crazy!
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 5
My first post--My husband is addicted to pain pills and I'm going crazy!
I have been hesitant to post because I'm not sure where to start, but decided to just "go for it". I have been married to my husband for over 20 years and the first 10 years (maybe less) was great!! After injuring his back at work and having a few surgeries, he's become addicted to pain pills. I'm not sure what all he abuses, but I do know that 10 mg Percoset and muscle relaxers are the main 2 that his doctor prescribes. I'm pretty sure he mixes a lot of other meds in with these as well, but couldn't tell you what they are as I don't know..? Anyway, right now he's a mess AGAIN and laying in a strange position on the sofa just a few feet away...moaning, drooling and once in awhile shoots straight up pulling his shoulders back and it reminds me of a scene from "The Exorcist". I can't sleep...........he lights up cigarettes in the apartment and drops them on the carpeted floor. Every blanket, sheet and pillowcase have burns in them. Years ago he caught the spare bedroom in our home on fire and covered the huge section with a throw rug. Days later I found it! Of course he had a lame excuse. I'm so tired of all of this and fear for me and my little dog's safety! My addicted husband (is it AH for short? I keep seeing that here) has gone from bad to worse. I can't believe anything he says as it seems he'd rather lie first and maybe later tell the truth (or a portion of the truth). When I ask him why, he says it's because he wants to be spared my nagging and questions. It's easier to just lie. He has started stealing...just little things like reading glasses from the pharmacy or dollar stores, a piece of candy from the convenience store and that has now escalated.
Over the past few years I was in denial. Doctors had run tests and found a spot on AH's brain and wanted him to followup with additional testing. I started thinking that maybe it wasn't the pills afterall!! He might have a genuine reason for acting the way he does!! Some of the things I have witnessed over the years with him are as follows: drooling, loud moaning, talking out of his head and then when asking him what he was talking about he'd say he was dreaming, seizures, anger, cursing, his body vibrates as does his voice and then he begins jumping up and down and swinging his arms back and forth. I started jotting down the dates and how long his binges would last about a year or more ago and recently looked back on them. I have found that on the 16th of every month is when he binges. This is when the doctor gives him his refills and also when his sister (who is also addicted) gets her's too. They share pills. And now he has a brother who just recently had a back surgery too, so more pills. I have a bad back and my primary suggested a pain clinic. I get Percosets of my own, however they are half of the strength of his and have to keep them hidden. My doctor has threatened to fire me as a patient because I'm not taking ENOUGH pills. Well, usually I run out and this tells me that my AH has found my hiding places!! So now I've decided not to go back at all and just take Ibuprofen and deal with it. It's a losing battle!! My husband never remembers his actions afterwards and he talks to himself, acts like a lunatic, looks like a drunk and it's disgusting AND scary too!! Our little dog tries to bite him when he's like this. I might add that the binges most often last about 5 days and once or twice a month. He can also go days without sleeping or eating too!
I have thought several times of asking my AH to leave. I pay rent, live on disability and can barely make ends meet as it is. I don't have a vehicle and not in good enough shape to walk very far. I have two family members in the same town but can't depend upon either one of them as one is an alcoholic and the other severely mentally ill. I am nearing 60 years old and how on earth did my life get turned upside down to the point I feel helpless???!!!
So much more I want to say, but his moaning in the background is making me nervous.
Had to vent and hope someone out there is awake and can touch base with me. Help please!
Over the past few years I was in denial. Doctors had run tests and found a spot on AH's brain and wanted him to followup with additional testing. I started thinking that maybe it wasn't the pills afterall!! He might have a genuine reason for acting the way he does!! Some of the things I have witnessed over the years with him are as follows: drooling, loud moaning, talking out of his head and then when asking him what he was talking about he'd say he was dreaming, seizures, anger, cursing, his body vibrates as does his voice and then he begins jumping up and down and swinging his arms back and forth. I started jotting down the dates and how long his binges would last about a year or more ago and recently looked back on them. I have found that on the 16th of every month is when he binges. This is when the doctor gives him his refills and also when his sister (who is also addicted) gets her's too. They share pills. And now he has a brother who just recently had a back surgery too, so more pills. I have a bad back and my primary suggested a pain clinic. I get Percosets of my own, however they are half of the strength of his and have to keep them hidden. My doctor has threatened to fire me as a patient because I'm not taking ENOUGH pills. Well, usually I run out and this tells me that my AH has found my hiding places!! So now I've decided not to go back at all and just take Ibuprofen and deal with it. It's a losing battle!! My husband never remembers his actions afterwards and he talks to himself, acts like a lunatic, looks like a drunk and it's disgusting AND scary too!! Our little dog tries to bite him when he's like this. I might add that the binges most often last about 5 days and once or twice a month. He can also go days without sleeping or eating too!
I have thought several times of asking my AH to leave. I pay rent, live on disability and can barely make ends meet as it is. I don't have a vehicle and not in good enough shape to walk very far. I have two family members in the same town but can't depend upon either one of them as one is an alcoholic and the other severely mentally ill. I am nearing 60 years old and how on earth did my life get turned upside down to the point I feel helpless???!!!
So much more I want to say, but his moaning in the background is making me nervous.
Had to vent and hope someone out there is awake and can touch base with me. Help please!
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Lore, I'm so glad you posted. Welcome to SR.
I'm sorry for the pain you're in over this. I think you might get a more helpful response by posting in the Friends & Families forum. There you'll find more people who are dealing with the same thing.
I think just being here and sharing your story will help you with the anxiety you're feeling. I can imagine how frustrated and scared you are. I hope you'll keep posting.
I'm sorry for the pain you're in over this. I think you might get a more helpful response by posting in the Friends & Families forum. There you'll find more people who are dealing with the same thing.
I think just being here and sharing your story will help you with the anxiety you're feeling. I can imagine how frustrated and scared you are. I hope you'll keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Clinton, MT
Posts: 255
Prayers your way.
That's gotta be tough. I would say that annoying addictive behavior is one thing, endangering peoples' lives by passing out with lit cigarettes is another. Maybe try being honest with his doctor....and honest with him. If you can have an honest conversation with him without him becoming angry and withdrawing, maybe you can help him see the damage he is doing. Please seek some professional help and take care of yourself.
All the best.
That's gotta be tough. I would say that annoying addictive behavior is one thing, endangering peoples' lives by passing out with lit cigarettes is another. Maybe try being honest with his doctor....and honest with him. If you can have an honest conversation with him without him becoming angry and withdrawing, maybe you can help him see the damage he is doing. Please seek some professional help and take care of yourself.
All the best.
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