Its been a while
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 232
Its been a while
I haven't posted here in months... I'm delighted to say that I'm on day 67 which is absolutely my longest stretch ever. With so much stopping and starting I truly believed I just would never make it. Going to AA was a huge step for me and eventually I've started to trust that I can really live a different life without drink. To any newcomer struggling I hope I can be an encouraging voice. I cried and drank and posted on SR over and over. It just wouldn't stick. I went to AA and still ended up drinking and denying and stopping and drinking again...
But now somehow I'm better, I'm recovering and I'm so grateful for this gift and the chance I've been given to be free, to live without the lying and sneaking and pretending....
Not once since I've stopped have my kids mentioned it. I think their silence speaks volumes, they know I'm different, happier, more together and I think they don't want to risk losing that by saying a single word!!
But now somehow I'm better, I'm recovering and I'm so grateful for this gift and the chance I've been given to be free, to live without the lying and sneaking and pretending....
Not once since I've stopped have my kids mentioned it. I think their silence speaks volumes, they know I'm different, happier, more together and I think they don't want to risk losing that by saying a single word!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 232
11 weeks sober...I am so grateful for this
Today I am 79 days without a drink.
Slowly but surely time is passing and I am changing how I live...
I'm not saying its easy, because it isn't! I miss the escape, the buzz, the anticipation of chilling out with a glass in hand. I find it very difficult at times dealing with stress and loneliness without the crutch of alcohol.
Life is quieter socially as I mind my sobriety. But life is fundamentally better without the obsession, the guilt and self-criticism.
Every time I drank I felt so weak and hopeless... I posted here for months without any real change in my drinking.
Until now, and its now that counts. With each day that passes I feel blessed despite the usual problems of money, parenting, work etc etc. Without drink I have the best possible chance for happiness. With drink I have nothing because drink will always steal my life for itself and spit me out without remorse.Even writing that gives me the creeps! It is so very powerful, but accepting its power frees me to follow a better way of life.
Anyone who is struggling...never ever give up on having the life you truly deserve xx
Slowly but surely time is passing and I am changing how I live...
I'm not saying its easy, because it isn't! I miss the escape, the buzz, the anticipation of chilling out with a glass in hand. I find it very difficult at times dealing with stress and loneliness without the crutch of alcohol.
Life is quieter socially as I mind my sobriety. But life is fundamentally better without the obsession, the guilt and self-criticism.
Every time I drank I felt so weak and hopeless... I posted here for months without any real change in my drinking.
Until now, and its now that counts. With each day that passes I feel blessed despite the usual problems of money, parenting, work etc etc. Without drink I have the best possible chance for happiness. With drink I have nothing because drink will always steal my life for itself and spit me out without remorse.Even writing that gives me the creeps! It is so very powerful, but accepting its power frees me to follow a better way of life.
Anyone who is struggling...never ever give up on having the life you truly deserve xx
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