wpainterw

What Has Helped Me

When I think over my past struggles with alcohol and the long time I spent getting into recovery, these are the things which I think mattered the most:

1. The companionship of other recovering alcoholics. Alcoholism is truly the “lonely illness”.

2. The help of those who were willing to have an open mind about ways in which to approach Alcoholics Anonymous and to speak constructively about its merits, admitting that no program is perfect or excludes other approaches for those who find these useful.

3. The insights of Rational Recovery and AVRT. I do not consider these necessarily inconsistent with a broad interpretation of Alcoholics Anonymous. It is scientifically true that there are primitive parts of the brain which seek to influence the more rational sectors to resume drinking. A primary reason for this is the biochemical dependence which the body has developed for alcohol, changes in body chemistry and physiology having made alcohol a necessity for any attempt to feel “normal” and avoid the risks and pain of withdrawal.

4. The help of doctors and counselors who have been trained and have become skillful in dealing with addiction. It is surprising how many appear to be less skillful than others in these respects.

5. Complete honesty on my part, both with others and with myself. This has been surprisingly difficult. For years I thought that I was being honest but this was not the case. I thought I was “doing something about” the problem but in reality I was merely using “treatment” as a way of biding time, procrastinating with the hope that eventually I could drink a glass of wine ("or two"!) in moderation. Honesty is often better achieved with the help of support groups than relying solely on 1-1 counseling. It surprises me how many counselors I have known have not stressed this.

These have been some of the important things. Perhaps there are others.

What has been important for you?

W.

bbthumper

Definitely support from and work with other alcoholics. I needed people around me who could understand those things about me that "normal folks" cant relate to.

Most of all I think clear, precise directions on what to do to achieve sobriety the way that those whom I looked up to had achieved it.

Great topic!

MIRecovery

Everything you mentioned and "A day at a time" Early in recovery some one said, "Any fool can stay sober for a day." I was just not any fool so I stay sober day by day

jobei

Finding a sober community, in whatever form, and being honest with it, has been the key factor in my recovery. God bless!

hypochondriac

Definitely the support of other alcoholics in recovery.

I would be interested in hearing why you say this Painter? I avoid groups like the plague but am fine in a one on one situation and feel I am more honest that way. I always feel the need to put on a front in group situations because they quite frankly scare the hell out of me. Groups of people are scary but one on their own I can handle.

Great post btw x

wpainterw

Thanks Hypo. The reason why I say this is that my experience with one to one counseling over a period of forty years was not as effective as my meetings with a congenial group. It just wasn't working out and I had many different counselors.In retrospect I think that there was a tap dance "game" going on. My tap dance was assuring the counselor that I "really" wanted to quit and was trying ever so hard! And my game with my family was that I was "really trying to do something about it". I had periods of sobriety but frequent relapses. No counselor ever suggested that I join a group (Well there was one in Kansas CIty who wanted me to get in a group which discussed sex, since, he said, the reason why folks drank was that they were confused about sex; I think his group was co-ed; I didn't join). I mentioned AA to one psychiatrist and he said that "there were things about it that I might not like". "What things? I asked. He wouldn't say. The doctors and the counselors may have felt that they were doing their best (and getting well paid for that) but frankly, in retrospect, I would not recommend any counselor who did not insist on the patient at least trying AA or some other form of group support. "Try it in good faith or get some other counselor to treat you."
When you're in a group, you are with another bunch of liars, people in denial or who have known denial. They can detect someone who's not being honest with others or with himself the way a good bird dog smells a grouse. If it's a good group, they'll laugh and pat you on the back and say "Sure! Sure! Been There! Done That!" . And, unlike the counselors, who may want to retain your business, they aren't getting paid to say that. They give you their reaction, hopefully kindly or graciously and you can take it or leave it. An ineffective counselor may be little more than an enabler. He or she may be doing more harm than good, since alcoholism is progressive and merciless. It's the "beast in the jungle" to use a phrase from Henry James.

W.